Lines Matching refs:he
59 I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
123 …s soldier, Guiseppe? Everything he says is wrong. GUISEPPE: Make him a general, Excellency, and…
136 ... After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations. <BR> -- H. L. Me…
139 Job Placement, n.: Telling your boss precisley what he can do with your job.
224 The more a man knows, the more he forgives. <BR> -- Catherine the Great
227 You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. <BR>…
272 The dissenter is every human being at those moments of his life when he resigns momentarily from th…
316 A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. <BR> -- Mark Twa…
319 If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal …
321 …vana, there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus, "one when he was a boy and one when he was a m…
334 Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship. <BR> -- Dave Barry
358 A youth becomes a man when the marks he wants to leave on the world have nothing to do with tyres.
376 In New York, tip the taxicab driver $40 if he does not mention his hemorrhoids. <BR> -- Dave Barry,…
377 …10; minus $2 if he tells you his name, another $2 if he claims it will be His Pleasure to serve yo…
423 Philosophy 101: If a man speaks in the woods, and a woman is not there to hear him, is he still wro…
434 The rate at which a person can mature is directly proportional to the embarrassment he can tolerate…
442 …pes, and it's a woman's job to stomp on him and keep him in the dark until he matures into somethi…
446 …The mean dog fights the good dog all the time.' When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a mome…
542 He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes...
543 He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever. <BR> -- Chi…
582 Man blames fate for other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole-in-one!
588 No one would remember the good Samaritan if he had only good intentions. He had money as well. <BR>…
626 The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. <BR> -- George …
641 Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat & dri…
642 … man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven…
645 The average person thinks he isn't. <BR> -- Father Larry Lorenzoni
686 …gan to bore a hole in the bottom of the boat. On being remonstrating with, he answered, "I am only…
689 I think it would be a good idea. <BR> -- Mahatma Ghandi (1869-1948), when asked what he thought of …
694 …idiot?; <BR> -- General Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970), when a journalist asked him if he was happy
715 Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny. <BR> -…
723 The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.…
766 When a man is wrapped up in himself he makes a pretty small package. <BR> -- John Ruskin (1819-1900)
767 … chop off whatever I don't need. <BR> -- Rodin (1840-1917), when asked how he managed to make his …
782 Wisdom is a comb given to a man once he is bald. (Irish proverb)
804 Man will do many things to get himself loved; he will do all things to get himself envied. <BR> -- …
816 A man with a new idea is a crank until he succeeds. <BR> -- Mark Twain
819 A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be lead by the nose. <BR> -- …
835 Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody. <BR> -- Mark Twain
847 I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. <BR> -- …
854 If man had created man, he would be ashamed of his performance. <BR> -- Mark Twain
864 Indecency, vulgarity, obscenity -- these are strictly confined to man; he invented them. Among the …
878 …cies who have done him no harm and with whom he has no quarrel... And in the intervals between cam…
888 Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his …
898 …ves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves …
905 The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he …
909 There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate: when he can't afford it, and when…
910 There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life that he has a raging desire to go somewh…
926 …k up at them and discuss 'bout whether they was made or just happened. Jim he allowed that the sta…
933 When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat. <BR> -- Mark Twain
942 You take the lies out of him, and he'll shrink to the size of your hat; you take the malice out of …
976 …headed by Dan Quayle, who seems to have a lot of spare time, assuming that he is not called upon t…
991 …tle man on the screen becomes highly suicidal. If he can't locate a hostile force to get killed by…
995 …hip. He was on our boat for a total of three hours, during which he demonstrated that he could dri…
1013 …an IQ of 260 and figured out early in life that if he talked to people, they'd get close enough so…
1035 As you know if you ever studied the famous Greek philosopher Aristotle, he was easily the most bori…
1038 …rough 1964, and yet rountinely makes calls wherein, after he dials the phone, he forgets who he's …
1039 Today's man knows that he's supposed to be a sensitive and caring relationship partner, and he's ma…
1047 As the ancient Greek historian Thucydides often said when he was alive, "History is a bunch of thin…
1053 …mbus sailed from Spain and discovered America, which he believed was the East Indies. The reason h…
1056 …a new device called the "telescope," peered through it and discovered that he could see directly i…
1059 …ts glory years under Louis XIV, who became known as the "Sun King" because he was more than 2 mill…
1068 …arte had himself crowned emperor of France in recognition of the fact that he, alone among all the…
1072 …arles Darwin published his groundbreaking work Origin of Species, in which he theorized that life …
1074 …er. Embarrassed, Edison vowed that one day he would invent an electric light so he could see what …
1077 …he had reached the North Pole; in 1911, Roald Amundsen reported that he had reached the South Pole…
1086 …bout Bill Gates: He employs many skilled, highly intelligent engineers. So he can eat them. <BR> -…
1106 …ash bags over his windows, let's remember that he might have a legitimate domestic reason, such as…
1125 Your basic guy dog firmly believes that if he pees on enough territory, he will be declared Dominan…
1127 …he stereotype-toy trap. When my son, Rob, was born, my philosophy was that he should have only pol…
1132 …a guy goes out on a date with a woman and finds himself really liking her, he will often demonstra…
1135 …s of a guy who can be more committed to a bunch of transient athletes than he is to his own wife. …
1138 …100 percent certain. "Let's put his head back on with duct tape and see if he can play a few more …
1182 … a picture of these people's Deity as he was before he got religion, the other one gives us a pict…
1194 Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example. <BR> -- Louis La Roch…
1201 There is hardly a man on earth who will take advice unless he is certain that it is positively bad.…
1232 Don't jump on a man unless he's down. <BR> -- Finley Peter Dunne (1867-1936), U.S. humorist
1262 Never accept an invitation from a stranger unless he offers you candy. <BR> -- Linda Festa
1270 Never go out with anyone who says he loves you more than his wife or girlfriend. <BR> -- William No…
1278 Never murder a man when he's busy committing suicide. <BR> -- Woodrow Wilson, (1856-1924), U.S. Pre…
1315 When you have got an elephant by the hind leg, and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him r…
1319 Africa is God's county, and he can have it. <BR> -- Groucho Marx (1890-1977), U.S. comedian
1327 An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he …
1344 It is well known that the older a man grows, the faster he could run as a boy. <BR> -- Red Smith (1…
1399 What a pity, when Christopher Columbus discovered America, that he ever mentioned it. <BR> -- Margo…
1420 No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can ho…
1428 …so that something of his personality stays alive. A tomcat has it so easy, he has only to spray an…
1440 If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it i…
1454 Some people lose all respect for a lion unless he devours them instantly. There is no pleasing some…
1460 When a man wants to murder a tiger he calls it sport; when a tiger wants to murder him he calls it …
1464 Young normal tigers do not eat people. If eaten by a tiger, you may rest assured that he was abnorm…
1477 I spilled spot remover on my dog -- and now he's gone. <BR> -- Steven Wright (1955--), U.S. comedian
1480 I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl. <BR> -- Penny Ward Mo…
1503 When you see a snake, never mind where he came from. <BR> -- W.G. Benham
1507 In my own experience, anyone can paint if he doesn't have to. <BR> -- Beatrice Lillie (1898-1989), …
1517 A man is usually bald four or five years before he knows it. <BR> -- Ed Howe (1853-1937)
1532 If God wanted us to be brave, why did he give us legs? <BR> -- Marvin Kitman U.S. TV critic and au…
1559 Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted. <BR> -- Fred Allen (18…
1627 …ate his wife (Deir el-Bahri Graffito No. 11, Dyn. 20) (What will happen to he who damages that Egy…
1628 As many years as hes walked on his feet, let him walk on his hands, and for the rest of the time he…
1631 He should have a large store, and whatever people ask for he shouldnt have, and what he does have s…
1638 May he need a prescription! <BR> -- Jewish proverb
1646 …ose that don't love us, may God turn their hearts; and if he doesn't turn their hearts, may he tur…
1652 Account ye no man happy till he die. <BR> -- Euripedes, (ca. 496-406), Greek dramatist
1763 …ics Unanimous. If you don't feel like a drink, you ring another member and he comes over to persua…
1823 Man is a complex being; he makes deserts bloom -- and lakes die. <BR> -- Gil Stern
1833 …he will drink himself to death; an Irishman, he will die of angry hypertension; a Dane, he will sh…
1841 A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time -- pills or stairs. <BR> -- Joan Welsh
1878 If God had really intended men to fly, he'd make it easier to get to the airport. <BR> -- George Wi…
1897 … saw Paul Newman's face on salad dressing and spaghetti sauce... I thought he was missing. <BR> --…
1940 I might give my life for my friend, but he had better not ask me to do up a parcel. <BR> -- Logan P…
1967 I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me. <BR> -- Bette Midler (1945-…
1988 …mom. See, my father died when I was eight years old. At least, that's what he told us in the lette…
2026 Every man has the right to utter what he thinks truth, and every other man has a right to knock him…
2052 Unless a man feels he has a good enough memory, he should never venture to lie. <BR> -- Michel de M…
2063 All that I care to know is that a man is a human being -- that is enough for me; he can't be any wo…
2094 The average person thinks he isn't. <BR> -- Reverend Larry Lorenzoni, U.S. priest
2159 In the first place, God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards. <BR> -- Mar…
2236 …he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as …
2240 Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature m…
2253 Two things only a man cannot hide: that he is drunk and that he is in love. <BR> -- Antiphanes (c.3…
2254 We had a lot in common. I loved him and he loved him. <BR> -- Shelley Winters, (1920--), US movie a…
2259 If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky? <BR> --Stanislaw J. Lec
2261 So unlucky that he runs into accidents which started out to happen to somebody else. <BR> -- Don Ma…
2272 As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will, he will be sure to repent. <BR> --…
2276 Call no man unhappy until he is married. <BR> -- Socrates (469-399 B.C.), Greek philosopher/teacher
2295 It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't. <BR> -- Spike Milligan, (1918-2002),…
2364 It was difficult for the Angel of Death to kill everybody in the whole world, so he appointed docto…
2377 …he met me in the street, and invited me to meet myself. 'Dine with me today; dine with me and I wi…
2386 Beware of the man who praises women's liberation; he is about to quit his job. <BR> -- Erica Jong (…
2391 Give a man a fish and he has food for a day; teach him how to fish and you can get rid of him of th…
2392 Giving a man space is like giving a dog a computer: the chances are he will not use it wisely. <BR>…
2393 God created man because he was so disappointed in the monkey. <BR> -- Mark Twain (1835-1910)
2409 It is easier for a man to be loyal to his club than to his planet; the by-laws are shorter, and he …
2410 …he's asleep with his intelligent wife, in the living-room he's rolling around with some bareass gi…
2418 Man puts woman on a pedestal so he won't have to look her in the eye. <BR> -- Marian Stewart
2425 …he code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... …
2436 The first time Adam had a chance, he laid the blame on women. <BR> -- Lady Nancy Astor (1879-1964),…
2440 The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. <BR> -- Natalie Wood, …
2448 …atrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he migh…
2467 A man who has a million dollars is as well off as if he were rich. <BR> -- John Jacob Astor II
2527 Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding, he sings. <BR> -- Ed Gardner
2529 The public doesn't want new music; the main thing it demands of a composer is that he be dead. <BR>…
2537 …clever man says can never be accurate, because he unconciously translates what he hears into somet…
2543 …he will scrutinize it closely, and unless the evidence is overwhelming, he will refuse to believe …
2554 …his pupils; it is moreover the way to win the favour of the teacher unless he is a very exceptiona…
2562 The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays…
2581 Aristotle maintained that women have fewer teeth than men; although he was twice married, it never …
2585 Every man, wherever he goes, is encompassed by a cloud of comforting convictions, which move with h…
2591 …al, and must believe something; in the absence of good grounds for belief, he will be satisfied wi…
2594 If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. <BR> -- Doroth…
2613 Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from hist…
2626 Reading made Don Quixote a gentleman. Believing what he read made him mad. <BR> -- George Bernard S…
2637 The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is. <BR> -- George Bernard Shaw (1856 …
2648 When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty. <BR>…
2657 He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career. <BR…
2666 An Englishman thinks he is moral when he is only uncomfortable. <BR> -- George Bernard Shaw (1856 -…
2678 A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know. <BR> -- H. L. Mencken (…
2679 A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. <BR> -- H. L. Mencken (188…
2689 Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. <BR> -- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
2697 It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man. <BR> -- H. L. Menc…
2709 …s are jackasses. He usually proves it, and I should add that he also usually proves that he is one…
2724 Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he f…
2726 …s that the latter regrets a discreditable act, even when it has worked and he has not been caught.…
2729 An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happe…
2730 An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it. <BR> …
2744 The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance. <BR> -- Lau…
2749 A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her. <BR> -- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
2794 One is tempted to define man as a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upo…
2813 …se she detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wif…
2839 …ld never judge a president by his age, only by his works.' And ever since he told me that, I stop…
2840 …ke things right is to go on feeding the crocodile, hoping he will eat you last--but eat you he wil…
2862 Question with boldness even the existence of God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of…
2885 …stion with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of…
2911 …that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is tha…
2945 I have always felt that a politician is to be judged by the animosities he excites among his oppone…
2950 …the tides and hurricanes he will encounter. The statesman who yields to war fever must realize tha…
2970 One day President Roosevelt told me that he was asking publicly for suggestions about what the war …
2992 The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter-he's…
3024 Like all weak men he laid an exaggerated stress on not changing one's mind. <BR> -- W. Somerset Mau…
3028 He had heard people speak contemptuously of money: he wondered if they had ever tried to do without…
3044 A woman can forgive a man for the harm he does her... but she can never forgive him for the sacrifi…
3133 I think Superman should go on the Larry King show and announce that he would come back to life if p…
3138 If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and …
3159 My son does not appreciate classical musicians such as the Stones; he is more into bands with names…
3165 …k at you in a certain self-satisfied way to indicate that he thinks that you must think that he is…
3213 …e person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four…
3262 If you help a friend in need, he is sure to remember you - the next time he's in need. <BR> -- Chei…
3307 …er a superstar is traded to your favourite team, he fades. Whenever your team trades away a no-nam…
3390 If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy man - he will find an easier way to do it. <BR> -- …
3430 The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on. <BR> -- Jones…
3548 … an extraordinarily large sum for Leonardo da Vinci's Codex. The rumour is he intends to sue for t…
3558 …s out of a mire of technological chaos neatly ignores the fact that it was he who, by peddling sec…
3562 … say, a wheelbarrow. He operates without much self-awareness. He will know he is in need of repair…
3605 A man on a date wonders if he'll get lucky. The woman already knows.
3771 If god is inside us, then I hope he likes Fajita's, cause that's what he's getting.
3893 Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
3954 We found Jesus - he was behind the sofa all along.
4024 "Hello," he lied. <BR> --Don Carpenter, quoting a Hollywood agent
4093 When your client's hopping mad Put his picture in the ad. If he still should prove refractory, add …
4096 I can't understand why a person will take a year or two to write a novel when he can easily buy one…
4129 T: One big monster, he called TROLL. He don't rock, and he don't roll; Drink no wine, and smoke no …
4145 Beyond ego, beyond personality, beyond awareness, he moved...grace of the mind-body interface grant…
4150 … at first, till it tired him; and then he kept it in a pouch next his skin, till it galled him; an…
4182 Einstein, Newton and Pascal are playing hide and go seek. It's Einstein's turn to count so he cover…
4197 I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.