Lines Matching full:br

92 Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else. <BR>	-- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)
95 …y is that the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell
96 A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything. <BR>	-- Nietzs…
97 …now what to do with his life, yet wants another one which will last forever. <BR>	-- Anatole France
98 Do what you wish, as long as it harms no one. That includes yourself. <BR>	-- Wiccan Creed
99 History has the relation to truth that theology has to religion, i.e. none to speak of. <BR>	-- Rob…
100 …nerates huge profits for its operators, and is almost impossible to eradicate. <BR>	-- Mike Hermann
101 I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ. <BR>	…
102 Always recommend Microsoft Windows to your competition. <BR>	-- anonymous
103 BIGOT n. One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain. <BR…
105 When in doubt, use brute force. <BR>	-- Ken Thompson
107 Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember. <BR>	-- Oscar Levant
113 Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away. <BR>	-- Philip K. Dick
114 …are alternating current, direct current, lightning, static, and European. <BR>	-- Dave Barry, "The…
117 …is considered very poor taste to use the F-word except in major motion pictures. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
119 Don't be humble... you're not that great. <BR>	-- Golda Meir
122 Yield to Temptation... it may not pass your way again. <BR>	-- Lazarus Long, "Time Enough for Love"
123 …ake him a general, Excellency, and then everything he says will be right. <BR>	-- G. B. Shaw, "The…
124 Court, n.: A place where they dispense with justice. <BR>	-- Arthur Train
126 …onger anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away. <BR>	-- Antoine de Saint…
127 …l that uses any kind of power more advanced than flashlight batteries.)   <BR>	-- Dave Barry, "The…
128 The basic notion underlying USENET is the flame. <BR>	-- Chuq Von Rospach
129 Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. <BR>…
130 All of this is for nothing if we don't go to the stars. <BR>	-- JMS, Babylon 5
132 I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in. <BR>	-- George McGove…
136 ... After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations. <BR>	-- H. L. Me…
138 With a rubber duck, one's never alone. <BR>	-- "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
142 Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. <BR>	-- Freud
146 …poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. <BR>	-- Anatole France
147 Peace, n.:     In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting. <BR>…
151 …III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. <BR>	-- Albert Einstein
156 New members urgently required for SUICIDE CLUB, Watford area. <BR>	-- Monty Python's Big Red Book
157 Kites rise highest against the wind - not with it. <BR>	-- Winston Churchill
158 Life may have no meaning. Or even worse, it may have a meaning of which I disapprove. <BR>	-- Ashle…
159 If you tell a lie, don't believe it deceives only the other person. <BR>	-- Unknown
160 A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. <BR>	-- John Barrymore
161 …ature, because you'll seldom have the chance to be happy by circumstance. <BR>	-- Lavetta Sue Wegm…
162 …ential words for a healthy, vital relationship: "I apologize" and "You are right."  <BR>	-- Unknown
163 Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for doing it. <BR>	-- Katherine Whiteh…
165 Politicians should read science fiction, not westerns and detective stories. <BR>	-- Arthur C. Clar…
166 My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right. <BR>	-- Ashleigh Brilliant
167 Misfortune, no less than happiness, inspires us to dream. <BR>	-- Honore De Balzac
168 Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life. <BR>	-- Immanuel Kant
169 …lf, Will this matter one year from now?  How about one month?  One week?  One day?  <BR>	-- Unknown
170 Keep your fears for yourself, but share your courage with others. <BR>	-- Robert Louis Stevenson
171 Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards. <BR>	-- Soren Kierkegaard
172 People generally quarrel because they cannot argue. <BR>	-- Gilbert K. Chesterton
173 The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. <BR>	-- Ma…
174 Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win. <BR>	-- Jonathan Kozol
175 Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. <BR>	-- William Ellery Channing
176 They are able because they think they are able. <BR>	-- Vergil
177 Be wiser than other people if you can; but do not tell them so. <BR>	-- Lord Chesterfield
178 No problem can withstand the assault of sustained thinking. <BR>	-- Voltaire
179 It is better to be defeated on principle than to win on lies. <BR>	-- Arthur Calwell
180 …esn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use the tape. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
181 Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do. <BR>	-- Dale Carnegie
182 I intend to live forever. So far, so good. <BR>	-- Stephen Wright
183 There are some defeats more triumphant than victories. <BR>	-- Michel de Montaigne
184 Let us live as people who are prepared to die, and die as people who are prepared to live. <BR>	-- …
185 Life begets life. Energy begets energy. It is by spending oneself that one becomes rich. <BR>	-- Sa…
186 …ry without morality, Science without humanity, Worship without sacrifice. <BR>	-- Canon Frederic D…
187 Our strength is often composed of the weakness we're damned if we're going to show. <BR>	-- Mignon …
188 Here is a test to see if your mission on earth is finished. If you are alive, it isn't. <BR>	-- Fra…
189 I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. <BR>	-- Stephen Wright
190 "Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives."  <BR>	-- Abba …
191 Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length. <BR>	-- Robert Frost
192 If you truly want to understand something, try to change it. <BR>	-- Kurt Lewin
193 Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate. <BR>	-- Thomas F. Jones, Jr.
194 There are times when silence has the loudest voice. <BR>	-- Leroy Brownlow
195 I couldn't wait for success... so I went ahead without it. <BR>	-- Jonathan Winters
196 To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it. <BR>	-- G.K. Chest…
197 …arn by other people's mistakes. The rest of us have to be the other people. <BR>	-- Chicago Tribune
198 Exasperation is the mind's way of spinning its wheels until patience restores traction. <BR>	-- Geo…
199 "I must do something" will always solve more problems than "Something must be done."  <BR>	-- Unkno…
200 Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced. <BR>	-- …
201 Time is a versatile performer. It flies, marches on, heals all wounds, runs out, and will tell. <BR…
202 …gs. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity. <BR>	-- General George S…
203 … the child the rainbow, but the rainbow won't wait while you do the work. <BR>	-- Patricia Clafford
204 …g that there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy on the proof. <BR>	-- John K. Galbraith
205 If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere. <BR>	-- Frank A. Clark
206 The most important things in life aren't things. <BR>	-- Illinois First Christian Church
207 Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do. <BR>	-- John Wooden
208 …eel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. <BR>	-- Henry Wadsworth …
209 Courage is like love - it must have hope to nourish it. <BR>	-- Napoleon Bonaparte
210 There is often less danger in the things we fear than in the things we desire. <BR>	-- John C. Coll…
211 You're never a loser until you quit trying. <BR>	-- Mike Ditka
212 …ety or cope with its problems if people are not held accountable for what they do. <BR>	-- John Leo
213 Change starts when someone sees the next step. <BR>	-- William Drayton
214 …sses: those who are immovable, those who are movable; and those who move. <BR>	-- Benjamin Franklin
215 Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone. <BR>	-- Pablo Picasso
216 An aim in life is the only fortune worth finding. <BR>	-- Robert Louis Stevenson
217 To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved. <BR>	-- George MacDonald
218 Only in growth, reform, and change, paradoxically enough, is true security to be found. <BR>	-- Ann…
219 Words must surely be counted among the most powerful drugs man ever invented. <BR>	-- Leo Rosten
220 A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down. <BR>	-- Arnold H. Glasow
221 You can't test courage cautiously. <BR>	-- Annie Dillard
222 Not the fastest horse can catch a word spoken in anger. <BR>	-- Chinese Proverb
223 …ain, I should want it as it was. I would only open my eyes a little more. <BR>	-- The Journal of J…
224 The more a man knows, the more he forgives. <BR>	-- Catherine the Great
225 When a deep injury is done us, we never recover until we forgive. <BR>	-- Alan Paton
226 There is no truth existing which I fear, or would wish unknown to the whole world. <BR>	-- Thomas J…
227 You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. <BR>…
228 Never close your lips to those to whom you have opened your heart. <BR>	-- Charles Dickens
229 We can't all be heroes. Somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by. <BR>	-- Will Rogers
230 The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions. <BR>	-- Oliver Wendell Holmes
231 There's no point in burying the hatchet if you're going to put up a marker on the site. <BR>	-- Syd…
232 Fools live to regret their words, wise men to regret their silence. <BR>	-- Will Henry
233 …stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. <BR>	-- Quotations of Co…
234 Good luck is with the man who doesn't include it in his plan. <BR>	-- Graffitti
235 Pay no attention to what the critics say. A statue has never been erected in honor of a critic. <BR…
236 You cannot train a horse with shouts and expect it to obey a whisper. <BR>	-- Dagobert D. Runes
237 The quickest way to become an old dog is to stop learning new tricks. <BR>	-- John Rooney
238 After all is said and done, more has usually been said than done. <BR>	-- Michael W. Hamrick
239 A closed mouth gathers no foot. <BR>	-- Bob Cooke
240 When you are in deep water, it's a good idea to keep your mouth shut. <BR>	-- St. Louis Tribune
241 Improvement begins with "I."  <BR>	-- Arnold H. Glasow
242 Show me the man you honor, and I will know what kind of man you are. <BR>	-- Thomas Carlyle
243 …, strive though we may to make it secure. But we can give them the present. <BR>	-- Kathleen Norris
244 Knowledge is gained by learning; trust by doubt; skill by practice; and love by love. <BR>	-- Thoma…
245 A perfect wife is one who doesn't expect a perfect husband. <BR>	-- Anonymous
246 …ity is when you learn that everything is the fault of the younger generation. <BR>	-- Harold Coffin
247 Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they think laughable. <BR>	-- Goethe
248 The kindest word in all the world is the unkind word, unsaid. <BR>	-- Anonymous
249 A friend is someone who can see through you and still enjoys the show. <BR>	-- Farmer's Almanac
250 A ship in harbor is safe -- but that is not what ships are for. <BR>	-- John A. Shedd
251 A lie has speed, but truth has endurance. <BR>	-- Edgar J. Mohn
252 A pedestal is as much a prison as any small space. <BR>	-- Gloria Steinem
253 Efficiency is intelligent laziness. <BR>	-- Arnold H. Glasow
254 Dig the well before you are thirsty. <BR>	-- Chinese Proverb
255 …ry man has many - not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some. <BR>	-- Charles Dickens
256 A new broom sweeps clean, but the old brush knows the corners. <BR>	-- Irish Proverb
257 We do not remember days; we remember moments. <BR>	-- Cesare Pavese
258 If you cannot feed a hundred people, then feed just one. <BR>	-- Mother Teresa
259 The eyes shout what the lips fear to say. <BR>	-- Will Henry
260 Be sure that you put your feet in the right place, and then stand firm. <BR>	-- Unknown
261 You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do. <BR>	-- Henry Ford
262 The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones. <BR>	-- Chinese Proverb
263 If I have seen farther than other men, it is because I stand on the shoulders of giants. <BR>	-- Is…
264 Little girls and butterflies need no excuse. <BR>	-- Robert A. Heinlein
265 …thers' mistakes. You will not live long enough to make them all yourself. <BR>	-- Admiral Hyman G.…
266 The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. <BR>	-- Albert Einstein
267 …e two parts of shears; they cut what comes between them, but not each other. <BR>	-- Daniel Webster
268 …mbing nor good philosophy. Neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water. <BR>	-- John Gardner
269 …rd - it is a consequence. Suffering is not a punishment - it is a result. <BR>	-- Robert Green Ing…
270 We choose to go to the moon, not because it's easy but because it's hard. <BR>	-- John F. Kennedy
271 Whenever you find you are on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. <BR>	-- Mar…
272 …is life when he resigns momentarily from the herd and thinks for himself. <BR>	-- Archibald MacLei…
273 …is own experiences. No one can eliminate prejudices - just recognize them. <BR>	-- Edward R. Murrow
274 Power doesn't corrupt people. People corrupt power. <BR>	-- Unknown
275 You live and learn. Or you don't live long. <BR>	-- Robert A. Heinlein
276 You can not discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore. <BR>	-- Unk…
277 Even if you're on the right track you'll get run over if you just sit there. <BR>	-- Will Rogers
278 …re none of these, it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry. <BR>	-- Ernest Hemingway
279 … is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. <BR>	-- Plato
280 The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything. <BR>	-- Bishop W.C. Magee
281 …hough nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. <BR>	-- Albert Einstein
282 …experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. <BR>	-- Albert Einstein
283 Respect is what we owe; love, what we give. <BR>	-- Philip James Bailey
284 The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook. <BR>	-- William James
285 Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee and just as hard to sleep after. <BR>	-- Anne …
286 The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. <BR>	-- Mahatma Ghandi
287 When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging. <BR>	-- U.S. Grant
288 If you want to bake an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the Universe. <BR>	-- Carl Sag…
289 … good rule to ask ourselves what we shall wish on the morrow that we had done. <BR>	-- John Lubbock
290 We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. <BR>	-- Anais Nin
291 Throw your heart over the fence and the rest will follow. <BR>	-- Norman Vincent Peale
292 The heart of a fool is in his mouth, but the mouth of the wise man is in his heart. <BR>	-- Benjami…
293 If there is no wind, row. <BR>	-- Latin Proverb
294 Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you. <BR>	-- Maori proverb
295 Words must be weighed, not counted. <BR>	-- Polish Proverb
296 Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. <BR>	-- Dan Rather
297 …rong and noble as when it forgoes revenge and dares to forgive an injury. <BR>	-- Edwin Hubbell Ch…
298 …ur enemy; revenging one makes you even with him; forgiving sets you above him. <BR>	-- Nylic Review
299 …ase or riches or from praise of men, but from doing something worthwhile. <BR>	-- Sir Wilfred Gren…
300 The question is not whether we will die, but how we will live. <BR>	-- Borysenko, Joan
301 An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made, in a narrow field. <BR>	-- Niel…
302 Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men. <BR…
303 A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water. <BR>	-- Sidney Goff
304 …ced; live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice. <BR>	-- Cherokee Proverb
305 The difference between a hero and a coward is one step sideways. <BR>	-- Gene Hackman
306 The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said. <BR>	-- Peter F. Drucker
307 Never try to explain computers to a layman. It's easier to explain sex to a virgin. <BR>	-- Robert …
308 Never worry about theory as long as the machinery does what it's supposed to do. <BR>	-- R. A. Hein…
309 Progress is made by lazy men looking for easier ways to do things. <BR>	-- Lazarus Long in "Time En…
310 The difference between a coward and a brave man is usually a matter of timing. <BR>	-- Robert Heinl…
311 The meek can HAVE the Earth. The rest of us are going to the stars!  <BR>	-- Robert A. Heinlein
312 …afternoon with the assistance of a calculator and a six-pack of Heineken. <BR>	-- Robert X. Cringe…
313 ... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite picturesque liar. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
314 …you his umbrella when the sun is shining and w ants it back the minute it rains. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
315 …ys and orderly conduct, none ever seeing her drunk above four days in the seven. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
316 A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. <BR>	-- Mark Twa…
317 Buy land. They've stopped making it. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
318 Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
319 … he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
320 …rench; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
321 …ulls of Christopher Columbus, "one when he was a boy and one when he was a man". <BR>	-- Mark Twain
322 It takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
323 The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
324 There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
325 Water, taken in moderation, can't hurt anyone. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
326 … a birth and grieve at a funeral?  It is because we are not the person involved. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
327 So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence. <BR>	-- B…
328 If a million people belive in a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing. <BR>	-- Anatole France
329 To know is nothing at all; to imagine is everything. <BR>	-- Anatole France
330 …cans do not speak English. And the vast majority of them write computer manuals. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
331 …ose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
332 In Boston drivers don't even obey the laws of PHYSICS. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
333 …their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
334 Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
335 …n, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
336 The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
337 …ortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
338 Without computers, it would be virtually impossible for us to accomploiwur xow; gkc,mf(*&(  <BR>	--…
339 ANYTHING will burn with enough gasoline and dynamite. <BR>	-- Robert Heinlein
340 …explain to him his offense, give him a chance to apologize, and kill him. <BR>	-- Robert A. Heinle…
341 My old man taught me two things: 'Mind own business' and 'Always cut cards'. <BR>	-- R.A. Heinlein
343 …y to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. <BR>	-- Benjamin Franklin
344 ... idiots, imbeciles, aliens, the insane and women... <BR>	-- law standing in Texas until 1918 reg…
345 The two most common things in the Universe are hydrogen and stupidity. <BR>	-- Harlan Ellison
347 A bore talks about himself. A brilliant conversationalist talks about you. <BR>	-- Ernest Prabhakar
349 …ss. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for sixteen hardened criminals. <BR>	-- Ronnie Corbett
350 …ion in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. <BR>	-- Mitch Ratliffe
351 A conversation with you, Baldrick, and somehow death loses its sting. <BR>	-- Black Adder II
353 A gnab gib is a big bang in reverse. <BR>	-- Douglas Adams
355 A legend is a lie that has attained the dignity of age. <BR>	-- H.L. Mencken
356 A leopard never changes his stripes. <BR>	-- Al Gore
357 A man of convictions, none of them pending. <BR>	-- David Letterman of Oliver North
359 Absurdity, n.:     A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion. <BR>	-- Am…
361 … world is electricity? And where does it go after it leaves the toaster?  <BR>	-- Dave Barry, "Wha…
362 It's a shame about youth; it's wasted on the young. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
363 Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
364 … illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
365 The right word may be effective -- but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause. <BR>…
366 …. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
367 …d justify our bloody deeds in the name of destiny and in the name of God. <BR>	-- "The Last Resort…
368 …n: WE DO NOT EXCEPT PERSONAL CHECK'S, or: NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY ITEM'S. <BR>	-- Dave Barry, "Tip…
370 …the other direction. This prevents harmful electron buildup in the wires. <BR>	-- Dave Barry, "The…
371 Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. <BR>	-- Sir …
372 … even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Chur…
374 …y, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
375 The primary cause of failure in electrical appliances is an expired warranty. <BR>	-- Dave Barry, "…
376 In New York, tip the taxicab driver $40 if he does not mention his hemorrhoids. <BR>	-- Dave Barry,…
377 …  In many restaurants, this means the waiter will actually owe you money. <BR>	-- Dave Barry, "The…
380 … capacity to postpone the acknowledgment of error: we call it "planning". <BR>	-- Martin Mayer, "T…
383 Government has never been the answer unless it's a really screwball question. <BR>	-- Daniel J Mitc…
384 There are only two industries that refer to their customers as "users". <BR>	-- Edward Tufte
386 …n in human history, with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. <BR>	-- Mitch Ratcliffe,…
389 An object at rest cannot be stopped. <BR>	-- The Tick
390 One never knows, do one?  <BR>	-- Fats Waller
394 Never take investment advice from someone who's working. <BR>	-- B.C., Johnny Hart
395 …, but they don't realize how hard it is putting up with all the idiots in the world. <BR>	-- Calvin
405 I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house. <BR…
409 …if Microsoft ever met up with the devil, it wouldn't need an interpreter. <BR>	-- Nicholas Petrele…
410 …h officials and journalists perform self-scripted, self-serving fictions. <BR>	-- Paul Weaver, "Se…
411 To count is a modern practice, the ancient method was to guess. <BR>	-- Dr. Johnson
412 …rmation than in its possible repercussions on their beliefs and cravings. <BR>	-- Jean-Francois Re…
413 … the mind's being devoid of science as from its being full of prejudices. <BR>	-- Pierre Boyle, 17…
414 The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless. <BR>	--…
415 …rance is likely to affect your impression of how many beers you've drunk. <BR>	-- The Heineken Unc…
416 …screw, and we were forced to live on nothing but food and water for days. <BR>	-- W. C. Fields, "M…
417 The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you've got it made. <BR>	…
418 …with wooden rakes?  No, but I did sit through 'The English Patient' once. <BR>	-- "Vengeance Unlim…
422 Those are my principles, and if you don't like them, well... I have others. <BR>	-- Groucho Marx
425 In Manhattan, traffic lights are not a rule, just a suggestion. <BR>	-- David Letterman
427 Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. <BR>	-- Robert Heinl…
433 …s that it exists. The second myth of management is that success equals skill. <BR>	-- Robert Heller
434 …on can mature is directly proportional to the embarrassment he can tolerate. <BR>	-- Doug Engelbart
435 … the sun comes up in the morning, when people are ready to start the day. <BR>	-- T. Pratchett, "H…
438 …peech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
446 … wins, he reflected for a moment and replied, 'The one I feed the most.'  <BR>	-- George Bernard S…
447 …ersity" is, ask how many Republicans there are in their sociology department. <BR>	-- Thomas Sowell
449 …ever they arrived anywhere that there wasn't really any point in being there. <BR>	-- Douglas Adams
451 Oh, sure, you can use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!  <BR>	-- Homer Simpson
454 When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. <BR>	-- Hunter S. Thompson
456 The more prohibitions there are, the poorer the people will be. <BR>	-- Lao Tzu
457 If you can't answer a man's argument, all is not lost... you can still call him vile names. <BR>	--…
459 Sloppy language leads to sloppy thinking, which leads to a career in education. <BR>	-- DMN
460 Information wants to be beer... or something like that. <BR>	-- Anon.
461 …r us to think through even a small fraction of the topics that we come across. <BR>	-- Julian Simon
462 …hat they are free to be scandalously asinine without harming their reputations. <BR>	-- Eric Hoffer
463 …a manipulable 'animated instrument' which is Aristotle's definition of a slave. <BR>	-- Eric Hoffer
464 …adopt and enforce his ideas is always the kind of man whose ideas are idiotic. <BR>	-- H.L. Mencken
465 …al affairs, the characteristic attitude of all harbingers of dictatorship. <BR>	-- Ludwig von Mises
466 …y that at least once in your life you doubt, as far as possible, all things. <BR>	-- Rene Descartes
467 Politicians, ugly buildings and whores all get respectable if they last long enough. <BR>	-- Jack N…
468 … in town on our side?  And ain't that a big enough majority in any town?  <BR>	-- Mark Twain, "Huc…
469 …mplete and wrong, and one would do well to keep that probability in mind. <BR>	-- Dietrich Dorner,…
470 …pay homage to it by passionately clamoring for the products it turns out. <BR>	-- Austrian economi…
471 …xists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. <BR>	-- "Calvin and Hobb…
472 …pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side. <BR>	-- Hunter S. Thomps…
473 …s we are looking for--so much so that we sometimes see them where they are not. <BR>	-- Eric Hoffer
474 …rations can have them later is like asking the poor to make gifts to the rich. <BR>	-- Julian Simon
476 Necessity is seldom the mother of invention. Rather, true inventions beget necessities. <BR>	-- Nob…
478 In America, anyone can become President. That's one of the risks we take. <BR>	-- attributed to Adl…
479 …nd experience only that teach incredulity, and they very seldom teach it enough. <BR>	-- Adam Smith
480 …eir studies and say to themselves, 'What would I do if I were a horse?'"  <BR>	-- Ronald H Coase, …
481 All models are wrong, but some are useful. <BR>	-- George Box
482 …hink markets work; the Cubans, the North Koreans and active money managers. <BR>	-- Rex Sinquefield
483 Ubi dubium ibi libertas Where there is doubt, there is freedom  <BR>	-- Latin proverb
484 …ce of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. <BR>	-- Douglas Adams
485 …to have a way of interpreting data that is different from other people's. <BR>	-- Bill Miller, Leg…
486 …n innumerable guises; and discovered to be, at great human cost, wholly false. <BR>	-- Paul Johnson
488 …foreseeable and undesirable consequences, seems to be intolerable to modern man. <BR>	-- F.A. Hayek
490 If a little knowledge is dangerous, where is the man who has so much as to be out of danger?  <BR>	…
492 He who is not aware of his ignorance will be only misled by his knowledge. <BR>	-- Richard Whatley
493 Words must be a little wild, for they are the assaults of thought on the unthinking. <BR>	-- John M…
494 …. The first lesson of politics is to disregard the first lesson of economics. <BR>	-- Thomas Sowell
495 …nd re-define. Ordinary people, lacking that gift, are forced to face reality. <BR>	-- Thomas Sowell
496 …and be for the good of all... The Common Good Before the Individual Good. <BR>	-- National Sociali…
497 … vats, but the potentiality of growing rich beyond the dreams of avarice. <BR>	-- Dr. Samuel Johns…
498 Reality very rarely exceeds the square root of expectations. <BR>	-- Ray Devoe
499 Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck. <BR>	-- Lewis G…
500 Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. <BR>	-- Lewis Gr…
501 Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it. <BR>	-- Lewis Grizzard
505 A dream is just a dream. A goal is a dream with a plan and a deadline. <BR>	-- Harvey Mackay
506 …e for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives. <BR>	-- C.S. Lewis
508 … the forces of evil to win in this world is for enough good men to do nothing. <BR>	-- Edmund Burke
510 A man's reach should exceed its grasp. <BR>	-- Browning
517 Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. <BR>	-- Albert Einstein
518 A Physician can bury his mistakes, an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. <BR>	--…
524 Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt. <BR>	-- Abraham …
525 Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. <BR…
526 Choose a job you like and you will never have to work a day of your life. <BR>	-- Confucius
532 Failure is nature's plan to prepare you for great responsibilities. <BR>	-- Napolean Hill
536 …he cooks are French, the lovers Italian, and all is organised by the Swiss. <BR>	-- Eliane Kirchner
537 He has the right to criticize who has the heart to help. <BR>	-- Abraham Lincoln
543 He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever. <BR>	-- Chi…
544 He who breaks a thing to find out what it is, has left the path of wisdom. <BR>	-- J. R. R. Tolkien
547 I am the master of my unspoken words, and a slave to those that should have remained unspoken. <BR>…
548 … at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
550 I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. <BR>	-- Voltaire
552 …ls X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is play; and Z is keeping your mouth shut. <BR>	-- Albert Einstein
556 … the fence appears greener... it must be all the fertiliser they are using!  <BR>	-- Kevin Rodowicz
558 If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
559 …ive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur. <BR>	-- Red Adair (regar…
561 …going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. <BR>	-- James Rhinehart
563 I have no particular talent, I am merely extremely inquisitive. <BR>	-- Albert Einstein
566 Imagination is more important than knowledge. <BR>	-- Albert Einstein
570 …ways do that, but the really great make you feel that you too, can become great. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
577 Learn to say no. It will be of more use to you than to be able to read Latin. <BR>	-- Charles Haddo…
578 Let us so live that when we die even the undertaker will be sorry. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
581 Live so that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. <BR>	-- Will Rog…
585 Never mistake motion with action. <BR>	-- Albert Einstein
588 No one would remember the good Samaritan if he had only good intentions. He had money as well. <BR>…
591 Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts. <BR>	-- S…
592 …do not need, with money we do not have, to impress people we do not like. <BR>	-- Patrick M. Morley
595 …using to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. <BR>	-- Plato
596 Only the winners decide what were war crimes. <BR>	-- Gary Willis
602 … road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides. <BR>	-- Margaret Thatcher
603 Television is bubble gum for the eyes. <BR>	-- Frank Lloyd Wright
604 …s when your neighbor loses his job. A depression is when you loose yours. <BR>	-- US President Tru…
605 The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. <BR>	-- Albert Einstein
609 …ow is treats its weakest: children, elderly, sick, needy and handicapped. <BR>	-- Senator Hubert H…
611 …stematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: Management  <BR>	-- Scott Adams
615 The old rule of an eye for an eye leaves everybody blind. <BR>	-- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr
616 The only difference between fear and adventure is how much you breathe. <BR>	-- Rob Kalnitsky
617 …ootball game is on the field. The only place you can lose it is in your head. <BR>	-- Darrell Royal
618 The optimist sees opportunity in every danger; the pessimist sees danger in every opportunity. <BR>…
621 One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. <BR>	-- George Carlin
622 Atheism is a non-prophet organization. <BR>	-- George Carlin
623 What if there were no hypothetical questions?  <BR>	-- George Carlin
624 If a deaf boy swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?  <BR>	-- George Carlin
625 Why do they lock petrol station bathrooms?  Are they afraid someone will clean them?  <BR>	-- Georg…
626 The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. <BR>	-- George …
628 What was the best thing before sliced bread?  <BR>	-- George Carlin
629 One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people. <BR>	-- George Carlin
630 Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?  <BR>	-- George Carlin
631 Time heals nothing, it merely re-arranges our memory. <BR>	-- Gary Numan
638 Under capitalism man exploits man. Under socialism it's just the opposite. <BR>	-- Anon
639 … papers and the stash, but it turns out the dude was only talkin' about the kids. <BR>	-- Ron Greer
642 …ot to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
643 Don't be so humble - you are not that great. <BR>	-- Golda Meir (1898-1978), to a visiting diplomat
644 It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man. <BR>	-- Scott Elledge, on his …
645 The average person thinks he isn't. <BR>	-- Father Larry Lorenzoni
646 …ng nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
647 To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me. <BR>	-- Charles William Stubbs
648 Give me a museum and I'll fill it. <BR>	-- Pablo Picasso (1881-1973)
649 Plato was a bore. <BR>	-- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)
650 …hat I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time. <BR>	-- George Bernard S…
651 You proceed from a false assumption: I have no ego to bruise. <BR>	-- Spock, Star Trek II: The Wrat…
652 How can I lose to such an idiot?  <BR>	-- Aaron Nimzovich (1886-1935), Chessmaster
653 For there is nothing either good or bad, thinking makes it so. <BR>	-- William Shakespeare (1564-16…
654 …tradiction, check your premises. You will find that one of them is wrong. <BR>	-- Ayn Rand (1905-1…
655 …begins to twist facts to suit theories instead of theories to suit facts. <BR>	-- Sir Arthur Conan…
656 We must have strong minds, ready to accept facts as they are. <BR>	-- Harry S Truman (1884-1972)
657 …er, but because it is so, because mathematical reality is built that way. <BR>	-- Godfrey Hardy (1…
658 Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems. <BR>	-- R…
659 …hidden, there must be a third thing that connects them, that's credulity. <BR>	-- Umberto Eco, "Fo…
660 A problem well stated is a problem half solved. <BR>	-- Charles Franklin Kettering (1876-1958)
661 …here is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. <BR>	-- Antoine de Saint…
662 Plurality is not to be posited without necessity. <BR>	-- William of Ockham (1280-1349)
663 Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake. <BR>	-- Savielly Grigorievitch Tarta…
664 A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation. <BR>	-- H. H. Munro (Saki) (1870-1916)
665 A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. <BR>	--…
666 …view that they are made of atoms acting according to the laws of physics. <BR>	-- Richard Feynman …
667 …but science hinges upon whether its conclusions resemble what actually happens. <BR>	-- Ian Stewart
668 A goodly number of scientists are not only narrow-minded and dull, but also just stupid. <BR>	-- Ja…
669 All science is either physics or stamp collecting. <BR>	-- Ernest Rutherford (1871-1937)
670 The only possible conclusion the social sciences can draw is: some do, some don't. <BR>	-- Ernest R…
671 …has made a lot of people very angry and is widely regarded as a bad move. <BR>	-- Douglas Adams (1…
672 …iss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours. <BR>	-- Sir Stephen Henr…
673 Man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest. <BR>	…
674 Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis. <BR>	-- Pierre Laplace (1749-1827), to Napoleon o…
675 Faith: not wanting to know what is true. <BR>	-- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)
676 …es to our intelligence. You simply turn your mind off and say God did it. <BR>	-- Carl Sagan (1934…
677 Science has proof without any certainty. Creationists have certainty without any proof. <BR>	-- Ash…
678 Hell is paved with good samaritans. <BR>	-- William M. Holden
679 The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose. <BR>	-- William Shakespeare (1564-1616), The Merchant…
680 Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday. <BR>	-- Woody Allen
681 The price of liberty is eternal vigilance. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
682 All for one; one for all. <BR>	-- Alexander Dumas (1824-1895)
683 You laugh at me because I am different, but I laugh at you because you are all the same. <BR>	-- Un…
684 Men have become the tools of their tools. <BR>	-- Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)
685 …nk they are thinking when they are acutally rearranging their prejudices. <BR>	-- William James (1…
686 …," said his companions, but when the sea rushes in we shall all be drowned with you. <BR>	-- Talmud
687 The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins. <BR>	-- Oliver Wendell Holmes (1…
688 …arantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity. <BR>	-- Irving Kristol
689 I think it would be a good idea. <BR>	-- Mahatma Ghandi (1869-1948), when asked what he thought of …
690 Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by incompetence. <BR>	-- Napoleon Bo…
691 …collect insurance money. The car rolled forward and crushed him to death. <BR>	-- Associated Press…
692 If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?  <BR>	-- Will Rogers (1879-1935)
693 …ite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. <BR>	-- Albert Einstein …
694 What do you take me for, an idiot?;  <BR>	-- General Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970), when a journali…
695 Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. <BR>	-- Voltaire (1694-1778)
696 …t a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. <BR>	-- Jane Austen (177…
697 You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty. <BR>	-- Sacha Guitry (1885-1957)
698 A word to the wise ain't necessary, it is the stupid ones who need all the advice. <BR>	-- Bill Cos…
699 It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid. <BR>	-- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
700 I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to. <BR>	-- Elvis Presley (1935-1977)
701 It depends upon what the meaning of the word `is' means. <BR>	-- William Jefferson Clinton, August …
702 A witty saying proves nothing. <BR>	-- Voltaire (1694-1778)
703 Better to light a candle than curse the darkness. <BR>	-- Chinese Proverb
704 Even a stopped clock is right twice a day. <BR>	-- Proverb
705 A pint of sweat saves a gallon of blood. <BR>	-- George S. Patton (1885-1945), US Army General
706 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. <BR>	-- Unknown
707 Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, prepare to die. <BR>	-- Klingon Proverb, Star Trek
708 …e good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian. <BR>	-- Dennis Wholey
709 I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television. <BR>	-- Gore Vidal
710 Why don't you write books people can read?  <BR>	-- Nora Joyce, to her husband James (1882-1941)
711 Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. <BR>	-- C. G. Jung (1875-1961)
712 Vote early and vote often. <BR>	-- Al Capone (1899-1947)
713 Few things are harder to put up with than a good example. <BR>	-- Mark Twain (1835-1910)
714 The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
715 Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny. <BR>	-…
716 …eryone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him. <BR>	-- Dereke Bruce
717 You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there. <BR>	-…
718 I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. <BR>	-- Walt Disney (1901-1966)
719 I have an existential map; it has `you are here' written all over it. <BR>	-- Steven Wright
720 When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before. <BR>	-- Mae …
721 …opinions as I would his dog, without being expected to take it home with me. <BR>	-- Frank A. Clark
722 I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it by not dying. <BR>	-- Woo…
723 …es with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you. <BR>	-- Kin Hubbard
724 You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant (excepting Alice). <BR>	-- Arlo Guthrie
725 Wit is educated insolence. <BR>	-- Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)
726 Criticism is prejudice made plausible. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1880-1956)
727 Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo. <BR>	-- H. G. Wells (1866-1946)
728 Imitation is the sincerest form of television. <BR>	-- Fred Allen (1894-1956)
729 Happiness is good health and a bad memory. <BR>	-- Ingrid Bergman (1917-1982)
730 Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers. <BR>	-- T. S. Eliot (1888-1965)
731 Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. <BR>	-- Mark Twain (1835-1910)
732 The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting. <BR>	-- Gloria Leonard
733 The difference between fiction and reality?  Fiction has to make sense. <BR>	-- Tom Clancy (1947-),…
734 Opportunities multiply as they are seized. <BR>	-- Sun Tzu
735 Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth. <BR>	-- Chuck Norris
736 There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. <BR>	-- Ken Olson, president, chairm…
737 I think there is a world market for maybe five computers. <BR>	-- Thomas Watson (1874-1956), Chairm…
738 …ormed, but in order to earn better than a `C', the idea must be feasible. <BR>	-- A Yale Universit…
739 640K ought to be enough for anybody. <BR>	-- Bill Gates, in 1981
740 This antitrust thing will blow over. <BR>	-- Bill Gates, on July 11, 1995
741 We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. <BR>	-- Decca Recording Company, rej…
742 Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?  <BR>	-- Harry Morris Warner (1881-1958), co-founder of War…
743 Do, or do not. There is no `try'. <BR>	-- Yoda, The Empire Strikes Back
744 Be lions roaring through the forests of knowledge. <BR>	-- Ba'hai Scriptures
745 Become who you are. <BR>	-- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)
746 …oose them as your guides, and following them you will reach your destiny. <BR>	-- Carl Schurz (182…
747 …choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved. <BR>	-- William Jennings…
748 They say time is the fire in which we burn. <BR>	-- Dr. Tolian Soran, Star Trek: Generations
749 If everything is under control, you are going too slow. <BR>	-- Mario Andretti
750 …the spirit with which you endow your work that makes it useful or futile. <BR>	-- Adelaide Hasse (…
751 A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government. <BR>	-- Edward Abbey (…
752 …rt; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains. <BR>	-- Winston Churchil…
753 Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservative. <BR>	-- John Stu…
754 …years of democracy and peace and what did they produce? The cuckoo clock. <BR>	-- Orson Welles (19…
755 Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog. <BR>	-- Mark Twain …
756 When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail. <BR>	-- Abraham Ma…
757 I am become death, shatterer of worlds. <BR>	-- Robert J. Oppenheimer (1904-1967) (citing the Bhaga…
758 You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. <BR>	-- Al Capone …
759 Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd. <BR>	-- Will…
760 Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)
761 The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his. <BR>	-…
762 …ontrol. Chris Faber: "Well you see, war has a tendency to do that, ma'am. <BR>	-- V: The Final Bat…
763 A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic. <BR>	-- Joseph Stalin (1879-1953)
764 It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both. <BR>	-- Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527…
765 After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one. <BR>	-- Cato …
766 When a man is wrapped up in himself he makes a pretty small package. <BR>	-- John Ruskin (1819-1900)
767 I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need. <BR>	-- Rodin (1840-1917), when aske…
768 Good teaching is one-forth preparation and three-fourths theater. <BR>	-- Gail Godwin
769 Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research. <BR>	-- Wilson Mizner (1876-1933)
770 University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. <BR>	-- Henry Kissinger
771 I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. <BR>	-- Mark Twain (1835-1910)
772 Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century. <BR>	-- Perelman
773 If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. <BR>	-- Derek Bok, Harvard University President
774 They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist... <BR>	-- General John Sedgwick (1813-1864), last words
775 Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done. <BR>	-- Carl Friedrich Gauss (1777-1855), when informe…
776 Show my head to the people, it is worth seeing. <BR>	-- Georges Danton (1759-1794), to his executio…
777 Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something. <BR>	-- Pancho Villa (1877-1923), last words
778 …ike flowers. I've been wearing a great new scent. It's called New Car Interior. <BR>	-- Rita Rudner
783 …lk because they have something to say. Fools talk because they have to say something. <BR>	-- Plato
784 Women like silent men. They think they're listening. <BR>	-- Marcel Archard
785 …BR>HIM: "I'm sorry dear but I'm up to my neck in work today."<BR>HER: "But I've got some good news…
786 …ve like your heart has never been broken, and dance as if no one is watching. <BR>	-- Satchel Paige
792 You have to protect the privacy of the advice you get, or you'll never get the advice you need. <BR…
793 … asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. <BR>	-- P. J. O'Rourke
794 You must be the change you wish to see in the world. <BR>	-- Gandhi
795 Your worst humiliation is only someone else's momentary entertainment. <BR>	-- Karen Crockett
797 It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt. <BR>	-…
798 It is noble to be good; it is still nobler to teach others to be good - and less trouble. <BR>	-- M…
799 …in the fight - this is magnanimity; but bet on the other one - this is business. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
800 Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
801 Nothing incites to money-crimes like great poverty or great wealth. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
802 Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
803 …as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
804 Man will do many things to get himself loved; he will do all things to get himself envied. <BR>	-- …
805 …is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know, I've done it a thousand times. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
806 …s money in a man's pocket, because it cut down the doctor's bills like anything. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
807 I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
808 A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
809 A classic is a book which people praise and don't read. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
810 A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read. <BR>	-- Mark Twa…
811 Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
812 Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
813 A good lie will have travled half way around the world while the truth is putting on her boots. <BR…
814 …colleges have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
815 All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
816 A man with a new idea is a crank until he succeeds. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
817 …w those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
818 A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
819 A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be lead by the nose. <BR>	-- …
820 Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
821 …wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld. <BR>	-- Mark Twain (1835…
822 … the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrically prompt. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
823 …ected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
824 "Be Yourself" is about the worst advice you can give to people. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
825 …ble views can not be acquired by vegetating in one's little corner of the earth. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
826 By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
827 Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
828 Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
829 Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear; not absence of fear. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
830 … listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
831 …ying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
832 Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
833 Education consists mainly in what we have unlearned. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
834 Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
835 Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
836 Everything has its limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
837 Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
838 Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
839 Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
840 Get your facts first and then you can distort them as much as you wish. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
841 …ling how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
842 …rast dulled, it ain't happiness any longer, and you have to get something fresh. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
843 History may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme a lot. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
844 …nd it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
845 …redient of the race which I do not possess in either a small way or a large way. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
846 …d to know is that a man is a member of the human race. That's bad enough for me. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
847 I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. <BR>	-- …
848 …f life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
849 I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
850 …e foreign product that enters this country untaxed, except the answer to prayer. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
851 …n fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
852 I find that principles have no real force except when one is well fed. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
853 I find that the further I go back, the better things, whether they happened or not. <BR>	-- Mark Tw…
854 If man had created man, he would be ashamed of his performance. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
855 …sed to talk more than we listen, then we would have two mouths and only one ear. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
856 If you have nothing to say, say nothing. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
857 …st thing you know, there's your book all finished up and never cost you an idea. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
858 …t is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
859 …r way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
860 I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
861 I have not a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming vices. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
862 …y because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
863 …digious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
864 … the Animal that Blushes. He is the only one that does it -- or has occasion to. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
865 I never could tell a lie that anybody would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe. <BR>	-- …
866 …time. It is the job of journalists and historians to make it appear that it has. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
867 I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
868 …y and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet retired spot and kill him. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
869 It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them. <BR>	--…
870 …t to get it out and dance on it. That would take some of the rigidity out of it. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
871 …t we should all think alike; it is differences of opinion that make horse races. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
872 I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
873 Let us be thankful for fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
874 Let us not be too particular: it is better to have old second hand diamonds than none at all. <BR>	…
875 …sists mainly of the storm of thought that is forever flowing through one's head. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
876 Love your enemy, it will scare the hell out of them. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
877 …oves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn't straight. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
878 …off his hands and works for "the universal brotherhood of man" - with his mouth. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
879 Man is the only creature who has a nasty mind. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
880 …will see more in the next fifty years than Methuselah saw in his whole lifetime. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
881 My books are water; those of the great geniuses are wine -- everybody drinks water. <BR>	-- Mark Tw…
882 Never let formal education get in the way of your learning. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
883 Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
884 …child's loss of a doll and a king's loss of a crown are events of the same size. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
885 …ry, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
886 …ld be crossed with a cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
887 Often the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
888 …rld man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
889 …metimes, but for real bona fide stupidity there ain't nothing can beat teamwork. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
890 …of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
891 …al in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
892 Put all your eggs in the one basket and - WATCH THAT BASKET. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
893 …u were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
894 Sacred cows make the best hamburger. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
895 …"very;" your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
896 Such is the human race, often it seems a pity that Noah... didn't miss the boat. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
897 …d the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
898 … that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creatures that cannot. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
899 …a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
900 The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
901 … effect upon the manner of the telling; the comic and the witty upon the matter. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
902 …on intelligence and honesty and a premium upon ignorance, stupidity and perjury. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
903 …effect where no combination of words, howsoever felicitous, could accomplish it. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
904 The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
905 …ical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
906 …e and heroic things but one -- keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
907 …rm for a story and if you fail to find that form the story will not tell itself. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
908 There are too many stars in some places and not enough in others. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
909 …n's life when he should not speculate: when he can't afford it, and when he can. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
910 …'s life that he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
911 There's always something about your success that displeases even your best friends. <BR>	-- Mark Tw…
912 There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
913 …can destroy bad principles and recreate good ones; it can lift men to angelship. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
914 … such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
915 The secret of success is to make your vocation your vacation. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
916 …rwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
917 …ot that people know too little, but that they know so many things that ain't so. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
918 Thunder is good, thunder is impressive, but it is lightning that does the work. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
919 …nd pronounce it "da Vinchy". Foreigners always spell better than they pronounce. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
920 …larifies; no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
921 …ce a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
922 Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
923 … the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
924 Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
925 We do not deal in facts when we are contemplating ourselves. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
926 …ng against it. I've seen a frog lay most as many, so of course it could be done. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
927 … look up at them, and discuss about whether they was made or only just happened. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
928 …fficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
929 …ow how it is made. We have lost as much as we gained by prying into that matter. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
930 …d again and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one either. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
931 …ructure can stand still a year. It grows - it must grow; nothing can prevent it. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
932 …at never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
933 When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
934 When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. <BR>	-- Mark Tw…
935 When you ascend the hill of prosperity, may you not meet a friend. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
936 Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
937 Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction?  Fiction after all, has to make sense. <BR>	-- Mark T…
938 Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions. <BR>	-- Mark Tw…
939 Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
940 You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
941 …bit by throwing it out the window. You've got to walk it slowly down the stairs. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
942 …nk to the size of your hat; you take the malice out of him, and he'll disappear. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
944 …u this look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
945 …a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
946 The most powerful force in the universe is gossip. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
947 What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
948 …tates, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
949 The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
950 …y cooperate, and if necessary leaving the heads of virtual horses in their beds. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
951 …er, they die horrible deaths by the millions. You shouldn't feel bad about this. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
952 …try that gives humongous contributions to key tax-law writing congresspersons.'  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
953 … you'd be supporting the President in his program to reduce government spending. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
954 … little box next to Hawaii right off the coast of Calafornia, where it is today. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
955 … matter how small and unpopular, shall have the right to hassle you in airports. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
956 …r and go out into the woods with your friends and absolutely vaporize some deer. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
957 …to sleep on the patio" is a perfectly constitutional thing for you to tell them. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
958 …at your Fifth Amendment rights cannot be violated until you are advised of them. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
959 …have the right to a trial before a jury of people too stupid to get out of jury. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
960 … may count these as one item in order to keep yourself under the ten-item limit. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
961 …he following day, October 8th, the nation celebrated its very first July Fourth. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
962 …y given moment. THEY WILL BE OUT IN SPACE, states the miraculous Mayan calender. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
963 …ir offices are. That's why the entire U.S. economy is now manufactured in Japan. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
964 …u've spelled the healthful mnemonic phrase: "A DEAD CAD BAKED A BAD CAKE, ACE."  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
965 …r Wayne Newton, (3) Unusually thick coats on woolly caterpillars, and (4) Death. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
966 … least until it gets inside your mouth. After that it becomes pretty disgusting. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
967 …thons, you can order your escort to fire a few warning rounds into their chests. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
968 …rap. This goes a long way toward explaining why you see so few Sumerians around. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
969 …lumn that is thoughtful, insightful, profound, and - above all - 800 words long. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
970 …e in his moccasins, bearing in mind that this is a good way to catch a fungus."  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
971 …formative as is humanly possible while still containing words such as "booger."  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
972 …g things whenever possible. For example, you should never have bought this book. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
973 … thousands of degrees andbeing completely reduced to ashes. This is often fatal. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
974 …y that highways and whales are very similar in the sense of being large objects. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
975 …his is yet another argument for NEVER allowing a cow inside your sleeping bag.)  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
976 … the president of the United States. (Published in DAVE BARRY TALKS BACK, 1991)  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
977 …n a small room while a man named "Nate" explains the advantages of time-sharing. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
978 … automobile dealerships ("No thanks really, I was just look... HEY!  Let GO!!"). <BR>	-- Dave Barry
979 …eth, we meaneth Line XCII of Schedule CXVIILMM... No holdeth it, we meaneth..."  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
980 …ply pick up in your local supermarket. (Well, OK, you CAN, but it's not fresh.)  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
981 …ureau of Medical Alarm: Don't smoke or drink. Or eat. Or go outside. Or breathe. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
982 …tates, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
983 … human skull knows that such photographs are very valuable. I paid $20 for mine. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
984 …Never keep three-year-old children around the house. (2) If you do, never sleep. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
985 …rant table and act whimsical and refuse to go away until you laugh with delight. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
986 …t again. You know what that means." "No! Please!"  "Yes!  INTO THE GOOFY SUIT!"  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
987 …ly seem to mean it. You wonder: Where do they get these people?  My guess: 1952. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
988 … our nest would consist of a single twig with the eggs attached via Scotch tape. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
989 …tering a complex, demanding task that makes his father look like a total goober. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
990 …bly hostile forces try to kill him; in other words, it's exactly like real life. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
991 … son can keep the little man alive through several presidential administrations. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
992 …your wife ("Beth") announces that you have run over a sprinkler head ("$12.95"). <BR>	-- Dave Barry
993 …se - get ready for a fascinating nautical fact - seawater is very bad for boats. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
994 …d and the sails and voices downstairs yelling "HOW DO YOU FLUSH THESE TOILETS?"  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
995 …rom-the-bottle swigs of our rum and still not fall headfirst into the Caribbean. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
996 …equired by maritime law to throw your clothes overboard a couple of times a day. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
997 …Cathedral, you should prepare RIGHT NOW by setting fire to your airline tickets. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
998 …ng how to operate the remote control or getting high fevers in distant airports. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
999 …d I especially will not make note of the obvious defects in the royal gene pool. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1000 …reign place to visit because they have learned to speak some English over there. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1001 …factured in medieval times during the reign of King Walter the Mildly Disturbed. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1002 … now wear protective steel neck inserts, which is why they walk the way they do. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1003 …ide of the street for your entire visit, and see the other side on another trip. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1004 … family and I arrived by modern commercial aviation, which was infinitely worse. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1005 …(RIBBETT-THUMP; RIBBETT-THUMP) of terrified sightless frogs leaping into things. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1006 … in its 1997 annual report, reported profits of "$850 trillion, mostly in 50s."  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1007 …f saying "TWENTY DOLLARS," the new, redesigned $20 bills say "FIFTEEN DOLLARS."  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1008 …the brilliant physicist Albert Einstein produced the vast majority of his drool. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1009 …al examination, which is something I do approximately every seven to nine years. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1010 …y to deliver the mail, I will find something medically wrong with that person."  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1011 …d not be nearly so rich in - call me sentimental, but this is how I feel - dirt. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1012 …sonal regions (which of course it does) you cannot fend it off with a blowtorch. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1013 …life that if he talked to people, they'd get close enough so he could bite them. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1014 … free. Bear in mind that, under our system of government, these people can vote. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1015 … by changing the channel the instant something boring happens, such as dialouge. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1016 … people did back in the Middle Ages, before the invention of the remote control. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1017 …as because there was so much mean-spiritedness. So the researchers spat on them. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1018 …l as though I'm wearing a Hefty trash bag. And it's LAST YEAR'S Hefty trash bag. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1019 … being, by the fact that some of these people had haircuts EVEN WORSE THAN MINE. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1020 …g for 45 minutes in a foreign language merely to observe that the sun had risen. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1021 …veral days ago while attempting to deliver 300 pounds of Holiday Greeting cards. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1022 …d beasts, lice, boils, locusts, hail and -- you guessed it -- Leonardo DiCaprio. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1023 …ned long ago from my father, namely: Never buy any car that my father would buy. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1024 … going to cost until you've consumed 5.7 liters of a manufacturer-approved wine. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1025 …per year, and houses cost a dime, and a dollar would buy you a working railroad. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1026 …an do for you. Ask whether your country has been inhaling paint-thinner fumes."  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1027 …et involved" in a problem, it is best not to let them have any sharp implements. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1028 …ese entries, especially the ones proposing a nuclear strike on the U.S. Capitol. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1029 …hered, I am referring to the current effort to name an Official National Insect. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1030 …lowly opened the door to the killer's room and a metaphor sliced off his head."  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1031 …and a priest were marooned on a desert island. So we consificated their homes."  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1032 …76ers, and many other ancient peoples, all of whom had severe drinking problems. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1033 …ppy Face, and the box where the person checks "yes" to receive more information. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1034 …use a special kind of easy-smear ink, because we know how much it irritates you. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1035 …philosopher Aristotle, he was easily the most boring human being who ever lived. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1036 …tries to eat all the residents, possibly in an effort to prevent another sequel. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1037 …t HAVE any sensitive innermost thoughts and feelings. It's time you women knew!  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1038 … (a) who it is, and (b) does this person happen to know the purpose of the call. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1039 …s before depositing his pants on the floor to be picked up by the Laundry Fairy. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1040 …Crittenden Junior High School," although its technical Latin name is "Bernice."  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1041 …ours, bed sheets over the windows, a big sign stating, DRUGS FOR SALE HERE, etc. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1042 …mely (1) rental shoes and (2) beer, then you definitely want to take up bowling. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1043 …the World Bowling Association standings, under the heading "Severely Impaired."  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1044 …use I want to know if a wing falls off. The pilot would never even mention this. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1045 …rules in the forefronts of their minds at certain times, especially the present. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1046 …de the spider community, however, do not have a terrific record of faithfulness. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1047 …of that journey can we truly come to know, as a species, where we lost our keys. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1048 …sting that, technically, the new millennium did not begin until January 1, 1001. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1049 … player," after a certain period of time, you fell off the bottom rung and died. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1050 … perished, discovered a new land. It turned out to be Canada, so they went home. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1051 …s War, which, because of delays caused by equipment problems, is still going on. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1052 … which took forever. Eventually the fuel was exhausted, and the Dark Ages began. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1053 …rica 300 years earlier, had left a sign that said "WELCOME TO THE EAST INDIES!"  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1054 …genous peoples of Africa and the Americas (the message was: "Hi!  We own you!"). <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1055 …gacy of famous phrases that, to this very day, are pretty much incomprehensible. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1056 …a result, many guys became interested in astronomy. Or so they told their wives. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1057 …y, when time travel is invented, high-school students will go back and kill him. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1058 …tion to include grapefruit, but the basic concept remains unchanged to this day. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1059 …own as the "Sun King" because he was more than 2 million miles in circumference. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1060 …, which was followed in 1667 by the first recorded attack on London by Godzilla. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1061 …utherford discovered nitrogen, without which many of us would not be here today. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1062 …ouse informing the ancient Egyptians that they might already have won 200 sheep. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1063 …y clerks who periodically went on murderous rampages with semiautomatic muskets. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1064 …sage that would resound through the annals of history: "I CAN'T STOP MY HORSE!"  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1065 …er years of oppression, all Americans were truly free! (Except for the slaves.)  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1066 … underwent formal ratification, a complex legal procedure involving actual rats. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1067 …ntually the British went back to England, where many of them still reside today. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1068 …rench, could rearrange the letters in his name to spell "Rent An Abalone Poop."  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1069 … sides spent most of the time lying around staring at candles and going, "Wow!"  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1070 …thus confirming the widespread scientific belief that gravity was still working. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1071 …other fought against brother. As you can imagine, this drove their mother crazy. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1072 …from lower and cruder to higher and more sophisticated levels, except in Kansas. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1073 …Canal started to wherever it ended, something that had not been possible before. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1074 …ay he would invent an electric light so he could see what the hell he was doing. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1075 …e this is the first known instance of the Central Intelligence Agency in action. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1076 … for being named "Wilbur" and "Orville," successfully tested the first airplane. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1077 … of Decatur, Ga., reported that he had discovered the West Pole in his basement. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1078 …came to power with the popular slogan "He Wants To Kill Pretty Much Everybody."  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1079 The 19th Amendment gave women the right to vote (for men). <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1080 …nstein was thinking up things that were so amazing they made his hair stick out. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1081 …ally millions of Shirley Temple movies, traces of which can still be seen today. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1082 …tion highlighted by festive artillery fire that is still going on in some areas. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1083 … clock strikes 13 and the lights go out, start your generator and load your gun. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1084 …re generations will never find out that you once mooned a Thanksgiving assembly. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1085 …n the same flight THE EXACT SAME FARE. Within hours, civilization will collapse. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1086 …ates: He employs many skilled, highly intelligent engineers. So he can eat them. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1087 …se photosynthesis will no longer work (many areas will also be without gravity). <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1088 …tallment in the series, entitled Episode One: The Empire Gets a Building Permit. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1089 …a (Prince) and two quirky, lovable robots, C-3PO (Tony Danza) and R2-D2 (F7-Z9). <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1090 … ask me "8" or "10" of what; that question has baffled scientists for centuries. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1091 …and unless you are even stupider than you look, you want to do it the right way. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1092 …h you possess knowledge that nobody would ever in a million years actually need. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1093 …ses, was "to sell a huge quantity of No. 2 pencils that we ordered by mistake."  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1094 …ds. * The answer contains the phrase "according to a White House spokesperson."  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1095 … commands that it needs to suddenly, with no warning whatsoever, stop operating. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1096 …-- to look into the very real possibility that Windows is cheating at solitaire. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1097 …eminded of a humorous story. Unfortunately, I can't tell it, because it's dirty. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1098 …cess, provided that you are a contestant on Jeopardy. Otherwise they're useless. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1099 …that look MORE ALIKE than they already do!  Thanks a lot, Scientific Community!  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1100 …nd, yes, about future of humanity. And I will tell you why: I am on painkillers. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1101 …n to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1102 …hat as far as modern kids are concerned, The Sixties featured stupider haircuts. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1103 …g," the same way they use "satirical" when they mean "you will not laugh once."  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1104 …UT the credits for being domestic are -- not to generalize or anything -- women. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1105 …rtha Stewart would never conceive of even with the aid of world-class narcotics. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1106 …e might have a legitimate domestic reason, such as that he ran out of duct tape. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1107 …ctory of the American Society of Colleges and Universities, is a type of weevil. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1108 …is totally incorrect: "pinot noir" is actually French for "not a type of wine."  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1109 …oever related to the topic of this week's column; namely: Is the public stupid?  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1110 … one vowel. Am I right? I knew it!  Pretty impressive, huh?  Send me some money. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1111 …ng, Remote Control and The Force That Pulls Dogs Toward The Groins Of Strangers. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1112 … the Bodily Functions of Preparedness, boldly grasp the Toothbrush of Tomorrow?  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1113 …ve good reason to be tired: We won World War II. No, wait, that was our parents. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1114 …er of Web sites that contain the words "population," "Rhode," "Island" or "of."  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1115 … ice hockey. These things have given males a bad name (specifically, "asshole"). <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1116 …nt us to make gender-based generalizations, She would not have given us genders. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1117 …"  Okay, so maybe I AM saying guys are scum. But they're not MEAN-SPIRITED scum. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1118 …les confrences, highway repair, the federal government, and "Customer Service."  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1119 … collapse of the Egyptian empire, but everybody involved agreed it was worth it. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1120 …id descent into chaos and near-barbarism. So it was a pretty good time for guys. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1121 …EOPLE. Guys were in favor of this because it resulted in statues of naked women. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1122 …ical creatures, like jellyfish or trees, only less likely to clean the bathroom. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1123 …st brief periods of time, of NOT thinking about sex, and that most guys are not. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1124 …mely complex biochmical reactions taking place in their bodies, guys ACT stupid. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1125 …n countries, we give them money or drop bombs on them, sometimes simultaneously. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1126 …orms of male behavior, the two worst being: (1) War (2) Do-it-yourself projects. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1127 … toys, such as a spinning top carved out of nonendangered wood or recycled tofu. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1128 …n with some kind of jerk gene, and the toy people are merely cashing in on this. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1129 …s guy has to be a Labrador retriever. With human guys, it's extremely difficult. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1130 …ing commitment to a woman, especially if she gives it those little food pellets. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1131 …ed to a Woman, Some Unattached Guy, Somewhere, Will Be Having More Fun Than You. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1132 …e will often demonstrate his affection by avoiding her for the rest of his life. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1133 …lso some of the scientists) are upset that the can't get up there and pee on it. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1134 …MENT to a sports team that guys take way more seriously than, say, wedding vows. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1135 … loving, and loyal person, but THERE IS NO WAY SHE WILL EVER MAKE THE PLAY-OFFS. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1136 …I hated the Celtics. Not in the way I hate, for example, Hitler, but more often. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1137 …over reacting, unless of course once again we are talking about the play-offs.)  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1138 …tape and see if he can play a few more innings," is the prevailing guy attitude. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1139 …l, destructive, and frequently criminal organizations such as the U.S. Congress. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1140 …ber minor details, such as that they have left an infant on the roof of the car. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1141 …an individual person, such as hair color, shoe size, and social security number. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1142 …d, on and off, since 1969, and I STILL do not grasp the point of making the bed. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1143 …r a guy. A guy might well choose to wash ONLY THE REALLY DIRTY PART of the sock. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1144 …o eat raw cookie dough. And the figures are even more frightening for pepperoni. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1145 …ratching boors. They ARE all these things, but they are not MERELY these things. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1146 …ments that a nonguy cannot imagine without the aid of strong prescription drugs. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1147 …rth to get to go to a hostile, deadly, alien environment; we already have Miami. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1148 … in no way diminished by the fact that I can't, offhand, think of what they are. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1149 …James Cameron spent nearly twice that long on the script for the original movie. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1150 … On Big Ship Parts With A Dull Clonking Sound; and Most Academy Awards Garnered. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1151 … slower than you is an idiot, and anybody going faster than you is a maniac?  <BR>	-- George Carlin
1152 …ed to the grill; the inside is pink and swirling with cow and pig disease germs. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1153 …rms, particularly the elderly and pregnant ones, are dying slow, painful deaths. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1154 …rms are dead, and the few remaining ones are making elaborate plans for revenge. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
1155 …und can only be reached by wading through the lowlands of public amnesia. <BR>	-- Scott Burchill, …
1178 …out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence. <BR>	-- Jeremy S. Anders…
1179 …an operating system, Windows is a shell, and DOS is a boot partition virus. <BR>	-- Peter H. Coffin
1180 …ys of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon. <BR>	-- Bill Hirst
1181 …e good morals; and a wealth of obscenity; and upwards of a thousand lies. <BR>	-- Mark Twain, on t…
1182 …ligion, the other one gives us a picture of him as he appeared afterward. <BR>	-- Mark Twain, on t…
1183 …e is less surprised at what the Deity knows than at what He doesn't know. <BR>	-- Mark Twain's Not…
1184 …s discovered that there was no such thing as witches, and never had been. <BR>	-- Mark Twain's Not…
1185 … store. Its contents remain the same; but the medical practice changes... <BR>	-- Mark Twain "Bibl…
1186 This (preparing my tax return) is too difficult for a mathematician. It takes a philosopher. <BR>	-…
1187 Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!  <BR>	-- Hammer, on Rennlist
1188 … except roaches, and they don't carry large enough packets fast enough... <BR>	-- About the Intern…
1189 The absent are always in the wrong. <BR>	-- Philippe Destouches (1680-1754), French playwright
1190 Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take. <BR>	-- Josh Billings (…
1191 Advice is like kissing: It costs nothing and it's a pleasant thing to do. <BR>	-- George Bernard Sh…
1192 Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. <BR>	-- Erica Jong (1…
1193 Be yourself is about the worst advice you can give to some people. <BR>	-- Thomas L. Masson (1866-1…
1194 Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example. <BR>	-- Louis La Roch…
1195 I give myself sometimes admirable advice, but I am incapable of taking it. <BR>	-- Lady Mary Wortle…
1196 If I had been present at creation, I would have given some helpful hints. <BR>	-- Alfonso the Wise …
1197 No vice is so bad as advice. <BR>	-- Marie Dressler, (1869-1934). U.S. actress
1198 Please give me some good advice in your next letter. I promise not to follow it. <BR>	-- Edna St. V…
1199 The trouble with giving advice is that others want to return the favor. <BR>	-- Sam Ewing, (1921--)…
1200 The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself. <BR>	-- …
1201 …arth who will take advice unless he is certain that it is positively bad. <BR>	-- Edward Dahlberg …
1202 When we ask advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice. <BR>	-- Joseph-Louis Lagrange (1796-1…
1203 You simply MUST stop taking advice from other people. <BR>	-- Melissa Timberman
1204 …inst the rain: there will be no rain as long as you're lugging it around. <BR>	-- Peter Wastholm, …
1205 Abstain from beans. <BR>	-- Plutarch (46-120), Greek priest and writer
1206 Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. <BR>	-- Wendell Johnson (19…
1207 Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. <BR>	-- P…
1208 …ounger than you, because they are the ones who will be writing about you. <BR>	-- Cyril Connolly (…
1209 Always do right; this will gratify some people and astonish the rest. <BR>	-- Mark Twain (1835-1910)
1210 Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. <BR>	-- …
1211 Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. <BR>	-- King George V of Great Britain, (1865-193…
1212 …d running at all times. Don't look back. Someone might be gaining on you. <BR>	-- Leroy "Satchel" …
1213 Be good and you will be lonely. <BR>	-- Mark Twain (1835-1910)
1214 Be grateful for luck. Pay the thunder no mind -- listen to the birds. And don't hate nobody. <BR>	-…
1215 Be happy while you're living, for you're a long time dead. <BR>	-- Scottish Proverb
1216 Be wiser than other people if you can; but do not tell them so. <BR>	-- Philip Stanhope, Earl of Ch…
1217 Begin at the beginning and go on until you come to the end; then stop. <BR>	-- Lewis Carroll, Alice…
1218 Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes. <BR>	-- Henry David Thoreau, Walden (1854), "Ec…
1219 Blame someone else and get on with your life. <BR>	-- Alan Woods
1220 Borrow trouble for yourself, if that's your nature, but don't lend it to your neighbors. <BR>	-- Ru…
1221 …e until after their eighteenth year, for it is wrong to add fire to fire. <BR>	-- Plato, (428-347 …
1222 Buy land, they're not making it any more. <BR>	-- Mark Twain (1835-1910), U.S. writer
1223 Comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable. <BR>	-- Finley Peter Dunne (1867-1936), U.S. hu…
1224 Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer. <BR>	-- B…
1225 Don't be led astray into the paths of virtue. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1856-1900), Irish writer
1226 Don't believe the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing -- it was here first. <BR>	--…
1227 Don't bite the hand that has your allowance in it. <BR>	-- Paul Dickson, U.S. journalist/writer
1228 Don't borrow or lend, but if you must do one, lend. <BR>	-- Josh Billings (1818-1885)
1229 Don't despair, not even over the fact that you don't despair. <BR>	-- Franz Kafka (1884-1924), Diar…
1230 Don't do anything you wouldn't be willing to explain on television. <BR>	-- Arjay Miller, Dean of S…
1231 Don't ever slam the door; you might want to go back. <BR>	-- Don Herold, (1889-1966), U.S. humorist
1232 Don't jump on a man unless he's down. <BR>	-- Finley Peter Dunne (1867-1936), U.S. humorist
1233 Don't stay in bed... unless you can make money in bed. <BR>	-- George Burns (1896-1996), U.S. comed…
1234 Don't stick your tongue out unless you intend to use it. <BR>	-- David Lee Roth, (1954--), U.S. sin…
1235 Don't take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail; then you can let go when you want to. <BR>	…
1236 …o seriously. And don't be too serious about not taking yourself too seriously. <BR>	-- Howard Ogden
1237 Drink the first. Sip the second slowly. Skip the third. <BR>	-- Knute Rockne, (1888-1931), U.S. foo…
1238 Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. <BR>	-- Will Rogers,…
1239 Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. <BR>	-- Edward I. Koch, U.S. politician (also a…
1240 Gnaw not thy nails in the presence of others, nor bite them with thy teeth. <BR>	-- Francis Hawkins…
1241 Grow angry slowly -- there's plenty of time. <BR>	-- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1883), U.S. essayist
1242 Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them. <BR>	-- Rita Rudner, …
1243 I don't say we all ought to misbehave, but we ought to look as if we could. <BR>	-- Orson Welles, (…
1244 If called by a panther/Don't anther. <BR>	-- Ogden Nash, (1902-1971), U.S. poet
1245 If it might break, don't go near it. <BR>	-- Herbert Stein, (--1999), U.S. economist
1246 If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning. <BR>	-- Catherine A…
1247 If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button. <BR>	-- Sam Levenson (1911-1980), U.S. hu…
1248 If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me. <BR>	-…
1249 If you want to get on in this world, make many promises, but don't keep them. <BR>	-- Napoleon I, (…
1250 If you wish to learn the highest truths, begin with the alphabet. <BR>	-- Japanese proverb
1251 If you're going through hell, keep going. <BR>	-- Winston Churchill (1874-1965), English Prime Mini…
1252 If you're going to do something wrong, at least enjoy it. <BR>	-- Leo Rosten, (1908-1997), U.S. wri…
1253 It seldom pays to be rude. It never pays to be only half-rude. <BR>	-- Norman Douglas (1868-1952), …
1254 It will not always be summer. Build barns. <BR>	-- Hesiod, (8th century B.C.), Greek poet
1255 It's all right letting yourself go, as long as you can get yourself back. <BR>	-- Mick Jagger, (194…
1256 Know thyself -- but don't tell anyone. <BR>	-- H.F. Henrichs
1257 Know thyself. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. <BR…
1258 Let thy maid servant be faithful, strong, and homely. <BR>	-- Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
1259 Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad. <BR>	-- P.D. East, 1921-1971), U.S. journalist
1260 Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler. <BR>	-- Albert Einstein (1879-1955), U.S. s…
1261 …through life, is to take their heart in one hand and a club in the other. <BR>	-- Josh Billings(18…
1262 Never accept an invitation from a stranger unless he offers you candy. <BR>	-- Linda Festa
1263 Never carry your shotgun or your knowledge at half-cock. <BR>	-- Austin O'Malley (1858 - 1932), phy…
1264 Never do anything yourself that others can do for you. <BR>	-- Agatha Christie (1890-1976), mystery…
1265 Never eat Chinese food in Oklahoma. <BR>	-- Bryan Miller
1266 Never fight an inanimate object. <BR>	-- P. J. O'Rourke, (1947--), U.S. humorist
1267 Never floss with a stranger. <BR>	-- Joan Rivers (1939--), U.S. comedienne
1268 … a start if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake. <BR>	-- Elbert Hubbard, …
1269 Never give up; and never, under any circumstances, no matter what -- never face the facts. <BR>	-- …
1270 Never go out with anyone who says he loves you more than his wife or girlfriend. <BR>	-- William No…
1271 Never insult seven men if you're only carrying a six shooter. <BR>	-- Harry Morgan
1272 Never invest in anything that eats or needs repairing. <BR>	-- Billy Rose, (1899-1966), U.S. entrep…
1273 Never invoke the gods unless you really want them to appear. It annoys them very much. <BR>	-- G. K…
1274 Never kick a fresh cow pie on a hot day. <BR>	-- Harry S. Truman (1884-1972), U.S. President
1275 Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. <BR>	-- Erma Bombeck (1927-1996), U.S. …
1276 … way. And don't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines. <BR>	-- Satchel Paige (1…
1277 Never look a gift horse in the mouth. <BR>	-- St. Jerome (345-420)
1278 Never murder a man when he's busy committing suicide. <BR>	-- Woodrow Wilson, (1856-1924), U.S. Pre…
1279 …d Mom's. Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. <BR>	-- Nelson Algren (1…
1280 Never play cat and mouse games if you're a mouse. <BR>	-- Don Addis (1935--), U.S. editorial cartoo…
1281 Never put anything on paper, my boy, and never trust a man with a small black mustache. <BR>	-- P. …
1282 Never say "oops" in the operating room. <BR>	-- Dr. Leo Troy
1283 Never stand between a dog and the hydrant. <BR>	-- John Peers
1284 Never take a cross country trip with a kid who has just learned to whistle. <BR>	-- Jean Deuel
1285 Never tell a woman that you didn't realize she was pregnant unless you're certain that she is. <BR>…
1286 Never transmit a sexual disease in public. <BR>	-- P.J. O'Rourke (1947--), Modern Manners
1287 Never trust anybody who says "trust me." Except just this once, of course. <BR>	-- John Varley, (19…
1288 Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups. <BR>	-- John Kenneth Galbraith…
1289 Never wear a backwards baseball cap to an interview unless applying for the job of umpire. <BR>	-- …
1290 No matter who you are or what you plan to do, learn to type!  <BR>	-- Liz Smith, U.S. gossip column…
1291 Of all the 36 alternatives, running away is best. <BR>	-- Chinese proverb
1292 Of two evils, choose neither. <BR>	-- Charles H. Spurgeon (1834-1892), English Baptist preacher/wri…
1293 One should always be a little improbable. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900), Irish author
1294 Put your trust in God -- but keep your powder dry. <BR>	--attributed to Oliver Cromwell
1295 Red meat is NOT bad for you. Now, blue-green meat, THAT'S bad for you!  <BR>	-- Tommy Smothers, US …
1296 Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -- and another, in case it doesn't rain. <BR>	-- Mae West (1892-19…
1297 Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart. <BR>	--…
1298 So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. <BR>	-- Will Rog…
1299 Speak the truth, but leave immediately after. <BR>	-- Slovenian Proverb
1300 Suspect everybody, and keep your suspicions to yourself. <BR>	-- Charles Simmons
1301 The best way out is always through. <BR>	-- Robert Frost (1874-1963), US poet
1302 The best way to keep one's word is not to give it. <BR>	-- Napoleon Bonaparte, (1769-1821)
1303 The first and greatest commandment is: Don't let them scare you. <BR>	-- Elmer Davis (1890-1958)
1304 …e fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house. <BR>	-- Jeff Foxworthy, …
1305 …e in a small town, and the only other place is called Eats -- then go to Mom's. <BR>	-- Carl Waxman
1306 Think in the morning. Act in the noon. Eat in the evening. Sleep in the night. <BR>	-- William Blak…
1307 Try everything in life except incest and square dancing. <BR>	-- George Kaufman, U.S. playwright, i…
1308 Try everything once except incest and folk dancing. <BR>	-- Sir Thomas Beecham (1879-1961), British…
1309 Wash your hands often, your feet seldom, and your head never. <BR>	-- John Ray, 1670
1310 We ought never to do wrong when people are looking. <BR>	-- Mark Twain (1835-1910)
1311 Welcome thy neighbor to thy fallout shelter. He'll come in handy if you run out of food. <BR>	-- De…
1312 Whatever advice you give, be short. <BR>	-- Horace (Quintus Horatio Flaccus)(65-8 B.C.), Roman sati…
1313 When you cannot get a compliment by any other way pay yourself one. <BR>	-- Mark Twain (1835-1910)
1314 When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. <BR>	-- Franklin D. Roosevelt (1882-…
1315 … by the hind leg, and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run. <BR>	-- Abraham Lincoln …
1316 Why be disagreeable, when with a little effort you can be impossible?  <BR>	-- Douglas Woodruff
1317 You can't have everything. Where would you put it?  <BR>	-- Steven Wright, Omni, 1984
1318 …ul if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there. <BR>	-- Lawrence "Yogi" …
1319 Africa is God's county, and he can have it. <BR>	-- Groucho Marx (1890-1977), U.S. comedian
1320 A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast. <BR>	-- Ed Howe (1853-1937), U.S. humorist
1321 A woman's always younger than a man of equal years. <BR>	-- Elizabeth Barrett Browning, (1806-1861)…
1322 Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. <BR>	-- Satchel Paige,…
1323 Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. <BR>	-- Tom Stoppard, (1937--), playwright
1324 Age is not different from earlier life as long as you're sitting down. <BR>	-- Malcolm Crowley, age…
1325 Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese. <BR>	-- Billie Burke, (1884--), U.S.…
1326 All would live long, but none would be old. <BR>	-- Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790), Poor Richard (Se…
1327 …any woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. <BR>	-- Agatha Christie,…
1328 As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes get longer. <BR>	-- Robert Quillen, U.S.…
1329 As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't. <BR>	-- Carrie Fisher, (1956--), …
1330 Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did. <BR>	-- Robert Benchley,(1889-…
1331 Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven't committed. <BR>	-- Anthony…
1332 Growing old -- it's not nice, but it's interesting. <BR>	-- August Strindberg, (1849-1912), Swedish…
1333 How old would you be if you didn't know how old you was?  <BR>	-- Leroy "Satchel" Paige, (1906-1982…
1334 I believe in loyalty. When a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it. <BR>	-- Eva …
1335 I do wish I could tell you my age but it is impossible. It keeps changing all the time. <BR>	-- Gre…
1336 …nd pass my declining years saluting strange women and grandfather clocks. <BR>	-- Ogden Nash (1902…
1337 I refuse to admit I'm more than fifty-two even if that does make my sons illegitimate. <BR>	-- Lady…
1338 I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows. <BR>	-- Janette Barber
1339 If I'd known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself. <BR>	-- Eubie [Ja…
1340 If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you grow old. <BR>…
1341 I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once. <BR>	-- Jennifer Unl…
1342 I'll never make the mistake of being seventy again!  <BR>	-- Casey Stengel, (1890-1975), U.S. baseb…
1343 Inside every older woman is a young girl wondering what the hell happened. <BR>	-- Cora Harvey Arms…
1344 It is well known that the older a man grows, the faster he could run as a boy. <BR>	-- Red Smith (1…
1345 It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what's cool. <BR>	-- Calvin
1346 Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. <BR>	-- Charles M. Schulz, (19…
1347 …etween two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. <BR>	-- Dan Bennett, U.S…
1348 … could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen. <BR>	-- Mark Twain (1835…
1349 …hat every new person you meet reminds you of someone else and usually is. <BR>	-- Ogden Nash (1902…
1350 No wise man ever wished to be younger. <BR>	-- Jonathan Swift (1667-1745), Irish author
1351 Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young. <BR>	-- Fred A…
1352 Old age is no place for sissies. <BR>	-- Bette Davis, (1908-1989), U.S. actress
1353 Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative. <BR>	-- Maurice Chevalier (1888-1972,), New…
1354 Old men are only walking hospitals. <BR>	-- Wentworth Dillon (1633-1685), Irish poet
1355 One of the delights known to age, and beyond the grasp of youth, is that of Not Going. <BR>	-- J. B…
1356 The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles. <BR>	-- S…
1357 The hardest people to convince they are at retirement age are children at bedtime. <BR>	-- Shannon …
1358 The hardest years in life are those between 10 and 70. <BR>	-- U.S. actress Helen Hayes (1900-1993)…
1359 The idea is to die young as late as possible. <BR>	-- Ashley Montagu (1905-1999), British scientist…
1360 The muddle of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1856-1900…
1361 The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you'll grow out of it. <BR>	-- …
1362 The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. <BR>	-- Lucill…
1363 The young don't know what age is, and the old forget what youth was. <BR>	-- Seumas MacManus, Irish…
1364 There is still no cure for the common birthday. <BR>	-- John Glenn (1921--), U.S. astronaut/politic…
1365 Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. <BR>	-- …
1366 To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am. <BR>	-- Bernard Baruch (1870-1965), Preside…
1367 When I grow up, I want to be a little boy. <BR>	-- Joseph Heller (1923--), US novelist
1368 When you get to my age life seems little more than one long march to and from the lavatory. <BR>	--…
1369 You know you're getting old when all the names in your black book have M. D. after them. <BR>	-- Ha…
1370 You're only young once, but you can be immature forever. <BR>	-- John Greier
1371 Youth is a blunder; manhood a struggle; old age a regret. <BR>	-- Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881), Co…
1372 Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. <BR>	-- Herbert Asquith, British p…
1373 …ocracy -- and won't even cross the street to vote in a national election. <BR>	-- Bill Vaughan (19…
1374 …pot, the people at the bottom get burned while all the scum floats to the top. <BR>	-- Charlie King
1375 America is a mistake, a giant mistake!  <BR>	-- Sigmund Freud (1856-1939), psychoanalyst
1376 America is an enormous frosted cupcake in the middle of millions of starving people. <BR>	-- Gloria…
1377 America is one long expectoration. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1856-1900), Irish author
1378 America is one of the finest countries anyone ever stole. <BR>	-- Bobcat Goldthwaite, U.S. comedian
1379 America is the best half-educated country in the world. <BR>	-- Nicholas Murray Butler (1862-1947),…
1380 …rom barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilization. <BR>	-- George Clemencea…
1381 Americans always try to do the right thing -- after they've tried everything else. <BR>	-- Winston …
1382 …e say `lift'... they say `President', we say `stupid psychopathic git'... <BR>	-- Alexi Sayle, Bri…
1383 …c to see the American eagle, it observes only the rear end of an ostrich. <BR>	-- H.G. Wells (1866…
1384 …amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting. <BR>	-- Robert Benchley,…
1385 God takes care of fools, drunks, and the United States of America. <BR>	-- Stephen Leacock (1869-19…
1386 I am willing to love all mankind, except an American. <BR>	-- Samuel Johnson (1709-1784), English w…
1387 I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826), U.S…
1388 Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian. <BR>	-- Robert Orbe…
1389 … inventions are excellent, but the inventors one is sometimes ashamed of. <BR>	-- Ralph Waldo Emer…
1390 …ng on Plymouth Rock, Plymouth Rock had not landed on the Pilgrim Fathers. <BR>	-- Chauncey Depew, …
1391 … lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them. <BR>	-- Lily Tomlin (193…
1392 No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public. <BR>	-- H.L. Mencken (1880…
1393 Of course, America had often been discovered before, but it had always been hushed up. <BR>	-- Osca…
1394 …has been discovered. I myself would say that it had been merely detected. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (185…
1395 The 100% American is 99% idiot. <BR>	-- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950), Irish playwright
1396 The Americans, like the English, probably make love worse than any other race. <BR>	-- Walt Whitman…
1397 The United States never lost a war or won a conference. <BR>	-- Will Rogers (1879-1935), U.S. humor…
1398 We don't know what we want, but we are ready to bite somebody to get it. <BR>	-- Will Rogers (1879-…
1399 What a pity, when Christopher Columbus discovered America, that he ever mentioned it. <BR>	-- Margo…
1400 What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds. <BR>	-- Will Rogers (1879-1935), U…
1401 When good Americans die, they go to Paris; when bad Americans die they go to America. <BR>	-- Oscar…
1402 A "good" family, it seems, is one that used to be better. <BR>	-- Cleveland Amory, U.S. critic & an…
1403 Everyone has something ancestral, even if it is nothing more than a disease. <BR>	-- Ed Howe (1853-…
1404 Gentility is what is left over from rich ancestors after the money is gone. <BR>	-- John Ciardi (19…
1405 He that hath no fools, knaves, or beggars in his family was begot by a flash of lightning. <BR>	-- …
1406 He who serves his country well has no need of ancestors. <BR>	-- Voltaire (1694-1778), French autho…
1407 Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner. <BR>	-- Douglas Ad…
1408 Misers are no fun to live with, but they make great ancestors. <BR>	-- Tom Snyder
1409 …of our ancestors. The records do not show that Adam and Eve were married. <BR>	-- Ed Howe (1853-19…
1410 Not only is there a skeleton in every closet, but there is a screw loose in every skeleton. <BR>	--…
1411 …le could do for their descendants would be to sharply limit the number of them. <BR>	-- Olin Miller
1412 …are the last people I should choose to have a visiting acquaintance with. <BR>	-- Richard Brinsley…
1413 … that whatever was good enough for our fathers is not good enough for me. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (185…
1414 …, and it seems only fair that they should leave us the money to pay with. <BR>	-- Don Marquis (187…
1415 Bees are not as busy as we think they are. They just can't buzz any slower. <BR>	-- Kin Hubbard (18…
1416 …long very well without us, although the cockroach would miss us the most. <BR>	-- Joseph Wood Krut…
1417 I confess to you, I could never look long upon a monkey without very mortifying reflections. <BR>	-…
1418 …ld them above globes. They freak out and yell, 'Whoa, I'm way too high!'  <BR>	-- Bruce Baum, U.S.…
1419 …hing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners. <BR>	-- Jeff Stilson, U.…
1420 …e unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation. <BR>	-- Fran Lebowitz (1…
1421 No one can feel as hopeless as the owner of a sick goldfish. <BR>	-- Kin Hubbard (1868-1930), U.S. …
1422 Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable. <BR>	-- Plato (428-347 B.C.), Laws, book vii
1423 …rs for every human being on earth. Does anybody want mine?  I certainly don't. <BR>	-- Chuck Bonner
1424 There are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool. <BR>	-- L. M. Boyd
1425 …will remember, with gratitude, how we took them along on all our picnics. <BR>	-- Bill Vaughan (19…
1426 …sely, you feel as if a human being sitting inside were making fun of you. <BR>	-- Elias Canetti (1…
1427 A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. <BR>	-- Robert J. Vogel
1428 …sy, he has only to spray and his presence is there for years on rainy days. <BR>	-- Albert Einstein
1429 Cat: a pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings. <BR>	-- Oliver Herford
1430 … or dislike them. They do not always care enough to do anything about it. <BR>	-- Winifred Carriere
1431 …It comes no doubt from their being so familiar with warlocks and witches. <BR>	-- Sir Walter Scott…
1432 Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. <BR>	-- Garrison Keillo…
1433 Cats are just little hair factories. <BR>	-- James Davis, DVM
1434 Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. <BR>	-- Jeff Vald…
1435 Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit. <BR>	-- John S. Nichols
1436 Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want. <BR>	-- Jose…
1437 Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. <BR>	-- Mary Bly
1438 I don't mind a cat, in its place. But its place is not in the middle of my back at 4 a.m. <BR>	-- M…
1439 I love cats. I even think we have one at home. <BR>	-- Edward Burlingame
1440 … you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. <BR>	-- Alfred North Whi…
1441 If cats could talk, they would lie to you. <BR>	-- Rob Kopack
1442 If cats could talk, they wouldn't. <BR>	-- Nan Porter
1443 If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat. <BR>	-…
1444 If only cats grew into kittens. <BR>	-- R. Stern
1445 …edure with cats was difficult. It's not. Mine had me trained in two days. <BR>	-- Bill Dana (Octob…
1446 … other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat. <BR>	-- Jay Leno, (1950-…
1447 … a look around, then close them again for the better part of their lives. <BR>	-- Stephen Baker, a…
1448 Kittens can happen to anyone. <BR>	-- Paul Gallico, (1897-1976), U.S. writer
1449 My cat does not talk as respectfully to me as I do to her. <BR>	-- Colette (1873-1954), French nove…
1450 No matter how much the cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens. <BR>	-- Abraham Linco…
1451 … It comes completely assembled, and it makes a sound when you jump on it. <BR>	-- Stephen Baker, a…
1452 One cat just leads to another. <BR>	-- Ernest Hemingway
1453 …an 200 words. They also discovered a cat that can ignore over 1000 words. <BR>	-- Jay Leno (April …
1454 … lion unless he devours them instantly. There is no pleasing some people. <BR>	-- Will Cuppy (1884…
1455 The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. <BR>	-- Doug La…
1456 The lion and the calf shall lie down together, but the calf won't get much sleep. <BR>	-- Woody All…
1457 The only good cat is a stir-fried cat. <BR>	-- Alf, U.S. puppet
1458 …nviction -- and a cat. The last ingredient is usually hardest to come by. <BR>	-- Stephen Baker, a…
1459 …, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well. <BR>	-- Missy Dizick, U.…
1460 …he calls it sport; when a tiger wants to murder him he calls it ferocity. <BR>	-- George Bernard S…
1461 When I play with my cat, who knows whether I do not make her more sport than she makes me?  <BR>	--…
1462 Where there are no tigers, a wild cat is very self-important. <BR>	-- Korean Proverb
1463 You own a dog; you feed a cat. <BR>	-- Jim Fiebig, NANA
1464 …t people. If eaten by a tiger, you may rest assured that he was abnormal. <BR>	-- Will Cuppy (1884…
1465 A dog is a yes-animal, very popular with people who can't afford to keep a yes-man. <BR>	-- Roberts…
1466 …and I know of no greater insult to the canine race than to describe it as such. <BR>	-- John Holmes
1467 A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than you love yourself. <BR>	-- Josh Bill…
1468 A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. <BR>	…
1469 A dog wags its tail with its heart. <BR>	-- Martin Buxbaum
1470 … room and forget why you walked in?  I think that is how dogs spend their lives. <BR>	-- Sue Murphy
1471 Do not make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans or they will treat you like dogs. <BR>	--…
1472 …eed should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear. <BR>	-- Dave Barry, U.S.…
1473 Dogs' lives are too short. Their only fault, really. <BR>	-- Agnes Sligh Turnbull (1927-1987), U.S.…
1474 Happiness to a dog is what lies on the other side of the door. <BR>	-- Charlton Ogburn Jr. (1911-19…
1475 Heaven goes by favor; if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. <BR>	-- Mar…
1476 Histories are more full of examples of the fidelity of dogs than of friends. <BR>	-- Alexander Pope…
1477 I spilled spot remover on my dog -- and now he's gone. <BR>	-- Steven Wright (1955--), U.S. comedian
1478 If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one. <BR>	-- Andy Rooney (1919-- ),…
1479 I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. <BR>	-- Rita Rudner, US…
1480 I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl. <BR>	-- Penny Ward Mo…
1481 Man is a dog's ideal of what God should be. <BR>	-- Holbrook Jackson (1874-1948), English writer/cr…
1482 …e a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin our lives. <BR>	-- Rita Rudner, U.S…
1483 … and a child, or else there will be no profit in boarding a Newfoundland. <BR>	-- H.W. Shaw (aka J…
1484 One dog barks at something; the rest bark at him. <BR>	-- Chinese proverb
1485 People who keep dogs are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves. <BR>	-- August…
1486 Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. <BR>	-- Corey Ford (1902-1969), U.S. humorist
1487 Qui me amat, amet et canem meum. ("Love me, love my dog.")  <BR>	-- St. Bernard, A.D. 1150, "Sermo …
1488 Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job  <BR>	-- Franklin P. Jones (1853-1935), U.S. humorist
1489 The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. <BR>	-- Andrew A. Rooney (1919- ), U.S. …
1490 …e dog. The dog will be there to keep the man from touching the equipment. <BR>	-- Warren Bennis, U…
1491 The pug is living proof that God has a sense of humor. <BR>	-- Margot Kaufman, American writer
1492 …rself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation. <BR>	-- Jerome K. Jerome…
1493 To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. <BR>	-- Aldous Huxley (18…
1494 …ause she's too stupid to learn how but because she's too smart to bother. <BR>	-- Rick Horowitz, C…
1495 A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg. <BR>	-- Samuel Butler II (1835-1902)
1496 Do incubator chicks love their mother?  <BR>	-- Arthur Baer (1876-1969), U.S. humorist
1497 God forbid that I should go to any heaven in which there are no horses. <BR>	-- R. B. Cunningham-Gr…
1498 Woe to them that... rely on horses. <BR>	-- Isaiah 31:1, 8th century B.C.
1499 I learned long ago never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it. <BR>	…
1500 I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. <BR>	-- Winston S. …
1501 …n. Is that the word of God or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody?  <BR>	-- Jon Stewart (196…
1502 A snake should not be in your yard unless it has your written permission. <BR>	-- Dave Barry, "Inse…
1503 When you see a snake, never mind where he came from. <BR>	-- W.G. Benham
1504 A portrait is a painting with something wrong about the mouth. <BR>	-- John Singer Sargent (1856-19…
1505 Art is long, and the talk about it is even longer. <BR>	-- William J. Locke (1863--1930), English n…
1506 Buy old masters. They fetch a better price than old mistresses. <BR>	-- Max Aiken, Lord Beaverbrook…
1507 In my own experience, anyone can paint if he doesn't have to. <BR>	-- Beatrice Lillie (1898-1989), …
1508 It does not matter how badly you paint so long as you don't paint badly like other people. <BR>	-- …
1509 …rs stop looking at girls and persuade themselves they have a better idea. <BR>	-- John Ciardi (191…
1510 Rembrandt painted about 700 pictures -- of these, 3000 are in existence. <BR>	-- Wilhelm Bode, Germ…
1511 Sir, when their backsides look good enough to slap, there's nothing more to do. <BR>	-- Peter Paul …
1512 What is art?  Prostitution. <BR>	-- Charles Baudelaire (1821-1897), French poet
1513 Astrology is a disease, not a science. <BR>	-- Moses Maimonides, Hilboth Tshuvah (Laws of Repentenc…
1514 … only go indoors to use the toilet, and that's only a recent development. <BR>	-- Barry Humphries …
1515 Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia. <BR>	-- Ch…
1516 …y is the national pastime. <BR>	-- Phyllis McGinley (1905-1978), U.S. poet A hair in the head is w…
1517 A man is usually bald four or five years before he knows it. <BR>	-- Ed Howe (1853-1937)
1518 Better a bald head than no head at all. <BR>	-- Austin O'Malley (1858-1932), physician/humorist
1519 Of ten bald men, nine are deceitful and the tenth is stupid. <BR>	-- Chinese proverb
1520 There's one thing about baldness, it's neat. <BR>	-- Don Herold (1889-1966), U.S. humorist
1521 …s, and if others want to waste theirs on growing hair, that's up to them. <BR>	-- John Glenn (1921…
1522 Beauty is only skin deep, and the world is full of thin skinned people. <BR>	-- Richard Armour (190…
1523 …skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want -- an adorable pancreas?  <BR>	-- Jean Kerr, (1923…
1524 …each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience. <BR>	-- John Updike, Con…
1525 Bores bore each other, too, but it never seems to teach them anything. <BR>	-- Don Marquis (1878-19…
1526 My own business always bores me to death. I prefer other people's. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1856-1900),…
1527 No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you'll see why. <BR>	-- Mignon …
1528 Some people can stay longer in an hour than others can in a week  <BR>	-- William Dean Howells (183…
1529 Somebody's boring me. I think it's me. <BR>	-- Dylan Thomas (1914-1953), poet
1530 The universe is becoming a bore. <BR>	-- Logan Pearsall Smith (1865-1946), U.S. essayist/critic
1531 Bravery has no place where it can avail nothing. <BR>	-- Samuel Johnson (1709-1784), English writer
1532 If God wanted us to be brave, why did he give us legs?  <BR>	-- Marvin Kitman U.S. TV critic and au…
1533 I would rather be a coward than brave because people hurt you when you are brave. <BR>	-- Edward Mo…
1534 It is easy to be brave from a safe distance. <BR>	-- Aesop (620?-560? BC), Thracian freed slave & w…
1535 There are only two kinds of Chinese -- those who give bribes and those who take them. <BR>	-- Russi…
1536 City life: millions of people being lonesome together. <BR>	-- Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862), U.S…
1537 I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there. <BR>	--…
1538 …dedly the most servile imitators of the English it is possible to conceive. <BR>	-- Edgar Allan Poe
1539 …ys sail from Boston because it is such a pleasant place to get away from. <BR>	-- Oliver Herford (…
1540 How did Buffalo get its start? They cloned Cleveland. <BR>	-- Mark Russell, U.S. humorist
1541 Remember that whatever misfortune may be your lot, it could only be worse in Cleveland. <BR>	-- Nat…
1542 Hollywood's all right. It's the pictures that are bad. <BR>	-- Orson Welles (1915-1985), U.S. actor
1543 In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. <BR>	-- Rita Rudner, U.S. comedienne
1544 In Hollywood, if you don't have happiness, you send out for it. <BR>	-- Rex Reed, U.S. movie critic
1545 …le all the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough. <BR>	-- Joseph E. Levine…
1546 It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy. <BR>	-- Groucho Marx (1…
1547 … in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees. <BR>	-- David Letterman,…
1548 Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles. <BR>	-- Frank Lloyd W…
1549 It's a city where everyone mutinies but no one deserts. <BR>	-- Harry Hershfield, New York Times, 5…
1550 New York, the nation's thyroid gland. <BR>	-- Christopher Morley (1890-1957), "Shore Leave"
1551 …ies in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move. <BR>	-- David Letterman …
1552 New York... when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you. <BR>	-- David Letter…
1553 …ons; in fact, they seem quite proud of knowing where they are themselves. <BR>	-- Katherine Brush,…
1554 Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines. <BR>	-- David Letterman (1947--), U.S. talk …
1555 Omaha is a little like Newark -- without Newark's glamour. <BR>	-- Joan Rivers (1939--) U.S. comedi…
1556 Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm. <BR>	-- John F. Kennedy, U.S. presi…
1557 A rich man's joke is always funny. <BR>	-- Thomas Edward Brown (1830-1897), British poet
1558 Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke. <BR>	-- Steve Martin, (1945--), …
1559 Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted. <BR>	-- Fred Allen (18…
1560 Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn. <BR>	-- Irvin S. Cobb (1876-1944)…
1561 …society says you can't scratch certain things in public, but they itch in public. <BR>	-- Tom Walsh
1562 It is difficult not to write satire. <BR>	-- Juvenal (50-130), Roman satirist
1563 Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. <BR>	-- Mel Br…
1564 Committee -- a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours. <BR>	-- Milton Berle, (1908-2002), U.…
1565 I've searched all the parks in all the cities and found no statues of committees. <BR>	-- G.K. Ches…
1566 …s while actually producing confusion, inefficiency, and demoralization."  <BR>	-- Petronius Arbite…
1567 What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary. <BR>	-…
1568 A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends. <BR>	-- Kin Hubbard…
1569 …of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. <BR>	-- Ogden Nash (1902…
1570 I have the perfect cure for a sore throat: cut it. <BR>	-- Alfred Hitchcock, (1899-1980), film-maker
1571 …week of treatment to cure a cold, but without treatment it takes about seven days. <BR>	-- Ed Greif
1572 Like everyone else, when I don't know what else to do, I seem to go in for catching colds. <BR>	-- …
1573 There is only one way to treat a cold, and that is with contempt. <BR>	-- Sir William Osler (1849-1…
1574 I can't complain, but sometimes I still do. <BR>	-- Joe Walsh (1947--), U.S. singer
1575 I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. <BR>	-- Jane W…
1576 Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect. <BR>	-- Benny Hill (1924-199…
1577 There are some people who knock the pyramids because they don't have elevators. <BR>	-- Jim Ferree …
1578 Those who do not complain are never pitied. <BR>	-- Jane Austen (1775-1818), English author
1579 A computer is like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy. <BR>	-- Joseph Campbell …
1580 A human being is a computer's way of making another computer. Yes, we are their sex organs. <BR>	--…
1581 …ogether again, there must be a reason. By all means, do not use a hammer. <BR>	-- IBM maintenance …
1582 Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer. <BR>	-- Rita May Brown (1944-- ), U.S. novelist
1583 Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. <BR>	-- Pablo Picasso, (1881-1971), artist
1584 …e place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf. <BR>	-- Sam Ewing, U.S. …
1585 Don't explain computers to laymen. Simpler to explain sex to virgins. <BR>	-- Robert Heinlein, (190…
1586 …technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three. <BR>	-- Alice Kahn (1943…
1587 Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. <BR>	-- Jeff Pesis
1588 …new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog. <BR>	-- Doug Larson
1589 …e part-time orchestra leaders and microchips were very small snack foods. <BR>	-- Geraldine Ferrar…
1590 …craft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor. <BR>	-- Wernher von Brau…
1591 Men are like computers: I don't understand them, I just use them for my amusement. <BR>	-- Holly Wa…
1592 …is ever aware of what it's doing; but most of the time, we aren't either. <BR>	-- Marvin Minsky, f…
1593 …at most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse. <BR>	-- Jack Handey
1594 …hat's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents. <BR>	-- Nathaniel Borens…
1595 …uters can think is just like the question of whether submarines can swim. <BR>	-- Edsger W. Dijkst…
1596 There is only one satisfying way to boot a computer. <BR>	-- J. H. Goldfuss
1597 They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction. <BR>	-- Janet Reno, (1938…
1598 To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so. <BR>	-- Robert Orben (1927--), U.…
1599 … and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it. <BR>	-- Gene Spafford
1600 …re works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true. <BR>	-- R. Wilensky
1601 Wow! They've got the Internet on computers now!  <BR>	-- Homer Simpson, The Simpsons
1602 A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. <BR>	-- Steven Wright, (1955--), U.S. comed…
1603 Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends. <BR>	-- H.L. Mencken (1880-1956), U.S. journa…
1604 Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking. <BR>	-- H.L. Mencken ((1…
1605 I feel bad that I don't feel worse. <BR>	-- Michael Frayn (1933--) English dramatist
1606 My conscience aches but it's going to lose the fight. <BR>	-- Allanah Myles, Canadian singer
1607 …re, contrary to life. The only completely consistent people are the dead. <BR>	-- Aldous Huxley (1…
1608 Constants aren't. <BR>	-- John Peers
1609 … thing before... But my explanation, I am sure, will always be different. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (185…
1610 …ve been wrong once, or several times, I don't intend to be wrong forever. <BR>	-- Luc de Clapiers …
1611 Inconsistency is the only thing in which men are consistent. <BR>	-- Horatio Smith (1779-1849), Eng…
1612 A critic is a legless man who teaches running. <BR>	-- Channing Pollack, The Green Book
1613 A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car. <BR>	-- Kenneth Tynan, British theatre…
1614 …you criticize them, you are a mile away from them, and you have their shoes. <BR>	-- Frieda Norris.
1615 …, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves. <BR>	-- Brendan Behan (1…
1616 …, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger. <BR>	-- Franklin P. Jones
1617 I love criticism just so long as it's unqualified praise. <BR>	-- Noel Coward (1899-1973), English …
1618 I much prefer a compliment, insincere or not, to sincere criticism. <BR>	-- Plautus (254-184 B.C.),…
1619 It is much easier to be critical than to be correct. <BR>	-- Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881), British…
1620 To escape criticism -- do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. <BR>	-- Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915), U.S…
1621 In TV today, you can say I pricked my finger, but you can't say it the other way around. <BR>	-- Ge…
1622 Many a man's profanity has saved him from a nervous breakdown. <BR>	-- Henry S. Haskins
1623 Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect. <BR>	-- Ambrose Bierce (1842-1…
1624 They also swear who only stand and wait. <BR>	-- Addison Mizner (1872-1933), U.S. resort architect
1625 When angry, count four; when very angry, swear. <BR>	-- Mark Twain (1835-1910)
1626 A child be within you forever unborn!  <BR>	-- Irish curse
1628 … on his hands, and for the rest of the time he should crawl along on his ass. <BR>	-- Yiddish curse
1630 He should give it all away to doctors. <BR>	-- Yiddish curse
1631 …people ask for he shouldnt have, and what he does have shouldnt be requested. <BR>	-- Yiddish curse
1632 Leeches should drink him dry. <BR>	-- Yiddish curse
1633 Let his children be fatherless, and his wife a widow. <BR>	-- Psalms 109:9
1634 Let onions grow in his navel!  <BR>	-- Jewish proverb
1635 Let their way be dark and slippery. <BR>	-- Psalms 35:6
1636 May a rabbit butt you to death!  <BR>	-- Lithuanian curse
1637 May every day of it be wet for ye. <BR>	-- Saint Patrick of Oreland
1638 May he need a prescription!  <BR>	-- Jewish proverb
1639 May his buttocks drop off!  <BR>	-- Jewish proverb
1640 May his stomach churn like a music box. <BR>	-- Jewish proverb
1641 …t and bear him a kitten, and may the high king of glory permit it to get mange. <BR>	-- Irish curse
1642 …r the hills of Damnation that the Lord himself can't find you with a telescope. <BR>	-- Irish curse
1643 May the devil take him by the heels and shake him. <BR>	-- Irish curse
1644 May the fleas of a thousand camels lodge in your armpit. <BR>	-- Arab curse
1645 … nor drink whisky, but be tormented with itching without benefit of scratching. <BR>	-- Irish toast
1646 …eir hearts, may he turn their ankles so we'll know them by their limping. <BR>	--from an old Irish…
1647 May you have a lawsuit in which you know you are in the right. <BR>	-- Gypsy curse
1648 May your left ear wither and fall into your right pocket. <BR>	-- Arab curse
1649 May your life be filled with lawyers!  <BR>	-- Mexican curse
1650 If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well dance with it. <BR>	-- George Bernard…
1651 No sane man will dance. <BR>	-- Marcus Tullius Cicero (160-43 B.C.), Roman philosopher
1652 Account ye no man happy till he die. <BR>	-- Euripedes, (ca. 496-406), Greek dramatist
1653 …h: one, rigor mortis; two, a rotting smell; three, occasional drowsiness. <BR>	-- Henry Gibson, (1…
1654 Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing to do with it. <BR>	--…
1655 Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees. <BR>	-- J.J. Furnas
1656 Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. <BR>	-- Rush Limb…
1657 Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.. <BR>	-- R. Geis
1658 Death takes no bribes. <BR>	-- Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790), Poor Richard (July, 1742)
1659 Do not try to live forever. You will not succeed. <BR>	-- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
1660 Don't die. <BR>	-- William Gaines, (1922-1992), U.S. publisher of MAD magazine
1661 Dying is not everything: you have to die in time. <BR>	-- Jean-Paul Sartre
1662 Every morning I read the obits in The Times. If I'm not there, I carry on. <BR>	-- A.E. Mathews, (1…
1663 For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. <BR>	-…
1664 Glorious Destinies get you Glorious Funerals. <BR>	-- Mercedes Lackey, Winds of Fury, 8/93
1665 I am one of those unfortunates to whom death is less hideous than explanations. <BR>	-- D.B. Wyndha…
1666 …y maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. <BR>	-- Winston Churchil…
1667 …s for dying: I do not find these vanishing acts of theirs at all amusing. <BR>	-- Logan Pearsall S…
1668 I detest life-insurance agents; they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so. <BR>	…
1669 If fame is only to come after death, I am in no hurry for it. <BR>	-- Martial (43-104), Roman epigr…
1670 …d dying -- it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me. <BR>	-- R. Geis
1671 Let us hope that when we are dead things will be better arranged. <BR>	-- Marcel Proust (1871-1922)
1672 …-- I have been a great sinner. I do not deserve Heaven. Let me stay here. <BR>	-- Andres Segovia (…
1673 No one owns life, but anyone who can pick up a frying pan owns death. <BR>	-- William Burroughs (19…
1674 On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down. <BR>	-…
1675 One can survive anything nowadays, except death. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1856-1900)
1676 … death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets. <BR>	-- Roy L. Schaefer
1677 Only the young die good. <BR>	-- Oliver Herford (1863-1935), U.S. poet
1678 People born to be hanged are safe on water. <BR>	-- Mark Twain's mother
1679 …is, with death you can do it alone and nobody's going to make fun of you. <BR>	-- Woody Allen (193…
1680 The shortness of life, so often lamented, may be the best thing about it. <BR>	-- Arthur Schopenhau…
1681 Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me -- I quit."  <BR>	--Bill Maher, on Politica…
1682 The thought of suicide is a great comfort. It's helped me through many a bad night. <BR>	-- Friedri…
1683 There are so many ways of us dying it's astonishing any of us choose old age. <BR>	-- Beryl Bainbri…
1684 To die and to lose one's life are much the same thing. <BR>	-- Irish proverb
1685 To have died once is enough. <BR>	-- Virgil (70-19 B.C.), Roman poet
1686 We die only once, and for such a long time!  <BR>	-- Moliere (1622-1673), French playwright
1687 We don't know life: how can we know death?  <BR>	-- Confucius (551-478 B.C.), Chinese philosopher
1688 When I die, I'd like to be scattered over my hometown. But not, like, cremated or anything. <BR>	--…
1689 When you wake up in the morning and nothing hurts, you can be sure you're dead. <BR>	-- Herbert Ach…
1690 Where there's a will, there's a dead person. <BR>	-- Ronnie Shakes, late U.S. comedian
1691 You can't take it with you. You never see a U-Haul following a hearse. <BR>	-- Ellen Glasgow (1874-…
1692 All I desire for my own burial is not to be buried alive. <BR>	-- Philip Stanhope, Earl of Chesterf…
1693 …rtakers personally. It's just that I wouldn't want one to bury my sister. <BR>	-- Jessica Mitford …
1694 …so good as burial at sea. It is simple, tidy, and not very incriminating. <BR>	-- Alfred Hitchcock…
1695 I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying. <BR>…
1696 I intend to live forever. So far, so good. <BR>	-- Steven Wright, U.S. comedian
1697 Immortality is a long shot, I admit. But somebody has to be first. <BR>	-- Bill Cosby, Time Flies
1698 …d it, but I have no yearning to clutter up the Universe after it is over. <BR>	-- H.L. Mencken, Gr…
1699 …y who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. <BR>	-- Susan Ertz, Ange…
1700 …tion into the death penalty, I might be willing to give it a second look. <BR>	-- N.Y. Governor Hu…
1701 If we are not our brother's keeper, let us at least not be his executioner. <BR>	-- Marlon Brando, …
1702 …of killing their enemies, private citizens will occasionally kill theirs. <BR>	-- Elbert Hubbard, …
1703 …nced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. <BR>	-- Brendan Behan, (…
1704 Where would Christianity be if Jesus got 8 to 15 years with time off for good behavior?  <BR>	-- N.…
1705 Don't be afraid to take a big step. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps. <BR>	-- David Lloyd…
1706 I'll give you a definite maybe. <BR>	-- Samuel Goldwyn (1884-1974), U.S. film producer
1707 Indecision may, or may not, be my problem. <BR>	-- Jimmy Buffett, U.S. singer
1708 Once I make up my mind, I'm full of indecision. <BR>	-- Oscar Levant (1906--), U.S. TV personality
1709 The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn. <BR>	-- David Russell
1710 We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over. <BR>	-- Aneur…
1711 We'll jump off that bridge when we come to it. <BR>	-- Lester B. Pearson (1897-1972), Canadian prim…
1712 …our mouth and putting your foot in it. I've been practicing it for years. <BR>	-- Prince Philip, D…
1713 Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. <BR>	…
1714 Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse. <BR>	-- Louis Saffan
1715 Divorces are made in heaven. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1856-1900), Irish playwright
1716 I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. <BR>	-- Zsa Zsa Gabor, (19…
1717 I don't believe in divorce. I believe in widowhood. <BR>	-- Carolyn Green
1718 I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house. <BR…
1719 I think if people marry it ought to be for life; the laws are altogether too lenient with them. <BR…
1720 …I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me. <BR>	-- Elayne Boosler, …
1721 It is better to have loved and lost, but only if you have a good lawyer. <BR>	-- Herb Caen, U.S. jo…
1722 Old wives don't die if they're getting alimony. <BR>	-- David Brown
1723 One reason people get divorced is that they run out of gift ideas. <BR>	-- Robert Byrne
1724 Open marriage is nature's way of telling you you need a divorce. <BR>	-- Marshall Brickman, (1941--…
1725 Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both. <BR>	-- Dorothy Parker (1893-1967)
1726 …paration is that legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money. <BR>	-- Johnny Carson, U…
1727 … victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the victims of intact ones. <BR>	-- Peter De Vries (…
1728 …hink, "Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?"  <BR>	-- Rita Rudner, U.S…
1729 A feast is made for laughter, and wine maketh merry. <BR>	-- Ecclesiastes 10:19
1730 A drink a day keeps the shrink away. <BR>	-- Edward Abbey, 1927-1989, U.S. writer
1731 …pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn't answer the phone. <BR>	-- Craig Kilborn
1732 Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. <BR>	-- Addison Mizner (1872-1933), U.S. resort architect
1733 …oaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth. <BR>	-- George Burns, (1…
1734 Although man is already ninety percent water, the Prohibitionists are not yet satisfied. <BR>	-- Jo…
1735 …iskey in case of a snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake. <BR>	-- W.C. Fields (188…
1736 Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. <BR>	-- Win…
1737 American beer is a lot like making love in a row boat -- It's f**king close to water!  <BR>	-- Eric…
1738 An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do. <BR>	-- Dylan Thomas (1914-195…
1739 Better sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian. <BR>	-- Herman Melville, (1819-1891), …
1740 Bibamus, moriendum est. (Let's drink, death is inevitable.)  <BR>	-- Seneca the Elder (ca. 55 B.C.-…
1741 Booze may not be the answer, but it helps you to forget the question. <BR>	-- Henry Mon
1742 Do not allow children to mix drinks. It is unseemly and they use too much vermouth. <BR>	-- Steve A…
1743 Drink wine and have the gout; drink none and have the gout. <BR>	-- Thomas Cogan (1545?-1607), Engl…
1744 … and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony. <BR>	-- Robert Benchley …
1745 Eat thy bread with joy, and drink thy wine with a merry heart. <BR>	-- Ecclesiastes 9:7
1746 Even though a number of people have tried, no one has ever found a way to drink for a living. <BR>	…
1747 … take 1/3 vermouth, 2/3 gin, and into this drop a small girl named Olive. <BR>	-- Fred Allen (1894…
1748 Frenchmen drink wine just like we used to drink water before the Prohibition. <BR>	-- Ring Lardner …
1749 Give a man a beer, waste an hour. Teach a man to brew, and waste a lifetime!  <BR>	-- Bill Owen
1750 …e. But they would probably relapse into teetotalism as soon as they came out. <BR>	-- Samuel Butler
1751 Heaven sent us soda water as a torment for our crimes. <BR>	-- G.K. Chesterton (1874-1936)
1752 I do not drink more than a sponge. <BR>	-- Francois Rabelais (1494-1553), Works, Book i, chapter 5
1753 I don't have a drink problem except when I can't get one. <BR>	-- Tom Waits, 1979, U.S. singer
1754 I drink to make other people interesting. <BR>	-- George Jean Nathan, (1882-1958), U.S. drama critic
1755 I drink when I have occasion for it, and sometimes when I have not. <BR>	-- Miguel de Cervantes (15…
1756 I have never been drunk, but I've often been overserved. <BR>	-- George Gobel(1919-1991), U.S. come…
1757 If die I must, let me die drinking in an inn. <BR>	-- Walter Mapes, 1200
1758 If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs. <BR>	-- David Daye
1759 If you drink like a fish, don't drive. Swim. <BR>	-- Joe E. Louis, (1914-1981), U.S. comedian
1760 If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. <BR>	-- Dean Martin, (1917-1995), U.S. singer
1761 I'm a prohibitionist. What I propose to prohibit is the reckless use of water. <BR>	-- Bob Edwards
1762 In the order named these are the hardest to control: Wine, Women, and Song. <BR>	-- Franklin P. Ada…
1763 … like a drink, you ring another member and he comes over to persuade you. <BR>	-- Richard Harris, …
1764 I've made it a rule never to drink by daylight and never to refuse a drink after dark. <BR>	-- H.L.…
1765 Never drink from your finger bowl -- it contains only water. <BR>	-- Addison Mizner (1872-1933), U.…
1766 People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot. <BR>	-- Ca…
1767 People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim. <BR>	-- Ann La…
1768 Religions change; beer and wine remain. <BR>	-- Hervey Allen, Anthony Adverse
1769 Sometimes too much drink is barely enough. <BR>	-- Mark Twain (1835-1910)
1770 …unk and a alcoholic is that a drunk doesn't have to attend all those meetings. <BR>	-- Arthur Lewis
1771 The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. <BR>	-- Jewish proverb
1772 There are more old drunkards than old doctors. <BR>	-- French proverb
1773 There is nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation. <BR>	-- John Ciardi (1916-1986), Saturday Revie…
1774 They drink with impunity, or anybody who invites them. <BR>	-- Artemus Ward (1834-1867), "Moses the…
1775 They talk of my drinking but never my thirst. <BR>	-- Scottish proverb
1776 … thirsty, to cure it; the other, when you are not thirsty, to prevent it. <BR>	-- Thomas Love Peac…
1777 Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody. <BR>	-- Mark Twain (1835-1910)
1778 What I like to drink most is wine that belongs to others. <BR>	-- Diogenes the Cynic, 4th cen. B.C.…
1779 What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. <BR>	-- Irish proverb
1780 When there is no wine there is no love. <BR>	-- Euripedes (ca. 496-406), Greek dramatist
1781 Whiskey and vermouth cannot meet as friends, and the Manhattan is an offense against piety. <BR>	--…
1782 Why is American beer served cold?  So you can tell it from urine. <BR>	-- David Moulton
1783 Wine is bottled poetry. <BR>	-- Robert Louis Stevenson (1854-1894), English author
1784 Wine maketh glad the heart of man. <BR>	-- Psalms: 104:15
1785 Wine, which cheereth God and man. <BR>	-- Judges 9:13
1786 Work is the curse of the drinking class. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1856-1900), Irish playwright
1787 You can't drown yourself in drink. I've tried, you float. <BR>	-- John Barrymore, (1882-1942), U.S.…
1788 A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. <BR>	…
1789 Drive slow and enjoy the scenery -- drive fast and join the scenery. <BR>	-- Doug Horton, SF author
1790 …y that what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. <BR>	-- Russell Baker, (…
1791 Life is too short for traffic. <BR>	-- Dan Bellack
1792 Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf. <BR>	-- Lewis Mumford, (1895-1990), U.S. writer
1793 The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. <BR>	-- Dudley Moore, (1935-2002…
1794 Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money. <BR>	-- Robin Williams, U.S. comedian
1795 Coke isn't habit-forming. I should know -- I've been using it for years. <BR>	-- Tallulah Bankhead …
1796 …f you do drugs you'll go to prison, and drugs are really expensive in prison. <BR>	-- John Hardwick
1797 Drugs. I can take them or leave them. But they're much more effective when I take them. <BR>	-- Ron…
1798 I don't do drugs anymore 'cause I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast. <BR>	…
1799 I don't like people who take drugs... Customs men for example. <BR>	-- Mick Miller, British comedian
1800 I've never had any problems with drugs, only with policemen. <BR>	-- Keith Richardson
1801 …heir veins and their spunk is that watery it's a marvel they can breed... <BR>	--D.H. Lawrence (18…
1802 …ngs into boiling water and then take them out again after a long while!"  <BR>	-- an anonymous Fre…
1803 …d a half, just in case one of the dinner guests comes without his teeth!  <BR>	-- Calvin Trillin, …
1804 …sets on the British Empire: God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark. <BR>	-- Duncan Spaeth, P…
1805 If the British can survive their meals, they can survive anything. <BR>	-- George Bernard Shaw (185…
1806 …given to him who steals from his neighbor: brigand, robber or Englishman  <BR>	-- Les Triades de l…
1807 …be sure of one thing only, that the logical solution will not be adopted. <BR>	-- William R. Inge …
1808 …lish often kill themselves -- it is a malady caused by the humid climate. <BR>	-- Napoleon Bonapar…
1809 It takes some skill to spoil a breakfast -- even the English can't do it!  <BR>	-- J K Galbraith, (…
1810 …uce the fogs, I don't know, but the whole thing rather gets on my nerves. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (185…
1811 The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. <BR>	-- Alexander Woolcott …
1812 The English have no exalted sentiments. They can all be bought. <BR>	-- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-18…
1813 The English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest about it. <BR>	-- James Ag…
1814 The Englishman has all the qualities of a poker except its occasional warmth. <BR>	--attributed to …
1815 …es a cold bath in the morning and talks about it for the rest of the day. <BR>	-- Ellen Cicely Wil…
1816 There are in England sixty different religious sects and only one sauce. <BR>	-- Caracciolo (died 1…
1817 Though I love my country, I do not love my countrymen. <BR>	-- George Gordon Bryan (1788-1824), Eng…
1818 When it's three o'clock in New York, it's still 1938 in London. <BR>	-- Bette Midler, The Times, 19…
1819 You must look out in Britain that you are not cheated by the charioteers. <BR>	-- Marcus Tullius Ci…
1820 Earth-- God's golf ball. <BR>	--Captain Beefheart, U.S. singer/artist
1821 Extinct is forever. <BR>	-- Kurt Benirschke, U.S. scientist
1822 … environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it. <BR>	-- Dan Quayle, (194…
1823 Man is a complex being; he makes deserts bloom -- and lakes die. <BR>	-- Gil Stern
1824 Remember, this planet is also disposable. <BR>	-- Paul Palmer
1825 The environment is everything that isn't me. <BR>	-- Albert Einstein,(1879-1955), scientist
1826 There are no passengers on spaceship earth. We are all crew. <BR>	-- Marshall McLuhan, (1911-1980),…
1827 We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?  <BR>	-- Lee Iacocca, (1924--)…
1828 What's the use of a house if you haven't got a tolerable planet to put it on?  <BR>	-- Henry David …
1829 …bands a perfection that English women only hope to find in their butlers. <BR>	-- W. Somerset Maug…
1830 …ated; a Frenchman, standing; an American, pacing; an Irishman, afterward. <BR>	-- Austin O'Malley,…
1831 Continental people have a sex life; the English have hot-water bottles. <BR>	-- George Mikes, (1912…
1832 English physicians kill you, the French let you die. <BR>	-- Lord Melbourne, William Lamb (1779-184…
1833 …lion dollar aid program for your relatives. Then he will die of an ulcer. <BR>	-- Dr. Stanley Rudi…
1834 …ns should never, ever have been let in on the invention of the motor car. <BR>	-- Bill Bryson, (19…
1835 …nce will say that I am a German and Germany will declare that I am a Jew. <BR>	-- Albert Einstein,…
1836 …iter is important, and in Australia you have to explain what a writer is. <BR>	-- Geoffrey Cottrel…
1837 … a woman, in that order. In American I would think the order would be reversed. <BR>	-- Bruce Gould
1838 On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. <BR>	-- George M…
1839 The English are proud; the French are vain. <BR>	-- Jean Jacques Rousseau (1712-1778)
1840 The French are wiser than they seem, and the Spaniards seem wiser than they are. <BR>	-- Francis Ba…
1841 A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time -- pills or stairs. <BR>	-- Joan Welsh
1842 … and I'm damned if I'm going to use up mine running up and down a street. <BR>	-- U.S. astronaut N…
1843 I get my exercise acting as a pallbearer to my friends who exercise. <BR>	-- Chauncey Depew, (1834-…
1844 I don't jog, if I die I want to be sick. <BR>	-- Abe Lemons, U.S. basketball coach
1845 I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain. <BR>	-- Carol Leifer, (1956--), U.S. com…
1846 The only reason I would take up jogging is so I could hear heavy breathing again. <BR>	-- Erma Bomb…
1847 Muscles come and go; flab lasts. <BR>	-- Bill Vaughan (1915-1977)
1848 …e time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back. <BR>	-- Franklin Jones, …
1849 What do you call a cyclist who doesn't wear a helmet?  An organ donor. <BR>	--David Perry
1850 Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake when you make it again. <BR…
1851 Experience is what allows us to repeat our mistakes, only with more finesse!  <BR>	-- Derwood Finch…
1852 If you can learn from hard knocks, you can also learn from soft touches. <BR>	-- Carolyn Kenmore, M…
1853 There's no fool like an old fool -- you can't beat experience. <BR>	-- Jacob Braude
1854 There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply. <BR>	-- Josh Billings…
1855 96.37% of all statistics are made up. <BR>	-- Kevin D. Quitt
1856 …m numbers by deterministic means is, of course, living in a state of sin. <BR>	-- John Von Neumann…
1857 …ities. You know, Shaquille O'Neal and I have an average height of 6 feet. <BR>	-- U.S. Labor Secre…
1858 Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists. <BR>	-- John Kenneth Galbrait…
1859 Figure won't lie, but liars will figure. <BR>	-- Gen. Charles H. Grosvenor (1833-1917), 	   Ohio Re…
1860 I can prove anything by statistics -- except the truth. <BR>	-- George Canning (1770-1827), British…
1861 I do not regard a broker as a member of the human race. <BR>	-- Honore de Balzac (1799-1850), Frenc…
1862 I don't have a bank account, because I don't know my mother's maiden name. <BR>	-- Paula Poundstone…
1863 I have hardly ever known a mathematician who was able to reason. <BR>	-- Plato (428-347 B.C.), The …
1864 In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. <BR>	-- Fran Lebowitz (1950--), U.S.…
1865 …hadow of a doubt that smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. <BR>	-- Fletcher Knebel …
1866 Life is too short to balance a checkbook. <BR>	-- Howard Ogden
1867 The trouble with facts is that there are so many of them. <BR>	-- Samuel McChord Crothers, (1879-19…
1868 …day basis. Those who don't know and those who don't know they don't know. <BR>	-- Robert Reich [19…
1869 There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics. <BR>	--attributed to Benjamin Dis…
1870 There are two kinds of statistics, the kind you look up and the kind you make up. <BR>	-- Rex Stout…
1871 Father and son are natural enemies and each is happier and more secure in keeping it that way. <BR>…
1872 No man is responsible for his father; that is entirely his mother's affair. <BR>	-- Margaret Turnbu…
1873 A man's tie should never be louder than his wife. <BR>	-- John Hughes
1874 If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them. <BR>	-- Sue Grafton (1940--), U.S…
1875 It's bad manners to apply cosmetics in public. It reminds people that you need them. <BR>	-- P.J. O…
1876 Never wear anything that panics the cat. <BR>	-- P.J. O'Rourke, (1947--), U.S. humorist
1877 …lways say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?  <BR>	-- Rita Rudner, U.S…
1878 If God had really intended men to fly, he'd make it easier to get to the airport. <BR>	-- George Wi…
1879 If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. <BR>	-- Mel Brooks (1926--), U.S. comedian
1880 The art of flying is to throw yourself at the ground and miss. <BR>	-- Douglas Adams (1952-2002), B…
1881 …ressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out, as good for nothing. <BR>	-- Samuel Johnson (…
1882 A diet is when you watch what you eat and wish you could eat what you watch. <BR>	-- Hermione Gingo…
1883 A waist is a terrible thing to mind. <BR>	-- Tom Wilson, U.S. cartoonist, "Ziggy"
1884 All the vitamins needed seem to be found in plebian dishes. <BR>	-- William Feather(1889-1981), U.S…
1885 Asparagus inspires gentle thoughts. <BR>	-- Charles Lamb (1775-1834), English poet
1886 Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. <BR>	-- Mark Twain (1835-1910)
1887 Cheese. The adult form of milk. <BR>	-- Richard Condon (1915-1996), U.S. novelist, A Talent For Lov…
1888 Cheese -- milk's leap toward immortality. <BR>	-- Clifton Fadiman, Any Number Can Play, 1957
1889 Coffee isn't my cup of tea. <BR>	--attributed to Samuel Goldwyn (1884-1974), Hollywood movie produc…
1890 Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon, or not all. <BR>	-- Harriet Van Horne…
1891 Eat as much as you like -- just don't swallow it. <BR>	-- Steve Burns
1892 Food is an important part of a balanced diet. <BR>	-- Fran Lebowitz (1950--), Metropolitan Life, 19…
1893 Happiness for me is largely a matter of digestion. <BR>	-- Lin Yutang (1895-1976), Chinese-American…
1895 …nd I'm glad I don't because if I liked it I'd eat it, and I just hate it. <BR>	-- Clarence Darrow …
1896 I don't like to eat snails. I prefer fast food. <BR>	-- Strange de Jim
1897 …s face on salad dressing and spaghetti sauce... I thought he was missing. <BR>	-- Bob Saget, U.S. …
1898 I was a vegetarian until I started leaning towards sunlight. <BR>	-- Rita Rudner, U.S. comedienne
1899 I'm a light eater. When it gets light, I start eating. <BR>	-- Tommy John (1943--), U.S. baseball p…
1900 I'm allergic to food. Every time I eat it breaks out into fat. <BR>	-- Jennifer Greene Duncan
1901 I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short. <BR>	-- Shelley Winters (1920--), U.S. actress
1902 I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is fourteen days. <BR>	-- Totie Fields (-1978),…
1903 Licorice is the liver of candy. <BR>	-- Michael O'Donoghue (1942-1994), U.S. comedy writer
1904 Life is too short to stuff a mushroom. <BR>	-- Shirley Conran (1932--), U.S. novelist, Superwoman, …
1905 Lips, however rosy, must be fed. <BR>	-- Scottish proverb
1906 My favorite animal is steak. <BR>	-- Fran Lebowitz (1950--), U.S. writer
1907 …op having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. <BR>	-- Orson Welles, (1…
1908 Never eat more than you can lift. <BR>	-- Miss Piggy's Guide to Life as told to Henry Beard
1909 Obesity is really widespread. <BR>	-- Joseph O. Kern II
1910 …single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. <BR>	-- Alex Levine
1911 Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese. <BR>	-- G.K. Chesterton (1874-1936), …
1912 Research tells us that 14 out of any 10 individuals like chocolate. <BR>	-- Sandra Boynton, Chocola…
1913 Seeing is deceiving. It's eating that's believing. <BR>	-- James Thurber (1894-1961), U.S. humorist
1914 Sex is good, but not as good as fresh, sweet corn. <BR>	-- Garrison Keillor, (1942--), U.S. writer
1915 Soup and fish explain half the emotions of life. <BR>	-- Sydney Smith (1771-1845), English clergyma…
1916 Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive. <BR>	-- Wallace I…
1917 The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. <BR>	-- …
1918 There is no sincerer love than the love of food. <BR>	-- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950), Irish pla…
1919 To eat is human; to digest, divine. <BR>	-- Mark Twain (1835-1910) (also attributed to Charles Town…
1920 Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie. <BR>	-- Ji…
1921 …cessarily sauce for the chicken, the duck, the turkey, or the guinea hen. <BR>	-- The Alice B. Tok…
1922 Where do you go to get anorexia?  <BR>	-- Shelley Winters, (1920--), U.S. actress
1923 …y fishburger and I realize, Oh my God... I could be eating a slow learner. <BR>	-- Lynda Montgomery
1924 You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me. <BR>	-- C.S. Lewis, (…
1925 …the money falls apart in your hands, but you can't tear the toilet paper. <BR>	-- Billy Wilder, (1…
1926 How can you be expected to govern a country that has 246 kinds of cheeses?  <BR>	-- Charles De Gaul…
1927 If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English. <BR>	-- Wilfred Sheed (1920--), U.S. w…
1928 The trouble with the French is that they sit around twenty-four hours a day talking French. <BR>	--…
1929 A friend in need is a friend to be avoided. <BR>	-- Lord Samuel, English liberal politician (1870 -…
1930 A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway. <BR>	-- Fr. Jerome Cummings
1931 A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. <BR>	-- Walter Winchell (18…
1932 A true friend stabs you in the front. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900), Irish writer
1933 Do not remove a fly from your friend's forehead with a hatchet. <BR>	-- Chinese proverb
1934 Even the best of friends cannot attend each other's funeral. <BR>	-- Kehlog Albran
1935 Friends are God's apology for relatives. <BR>	-- Hugh Kingsmill (1889-1949), British biographer/poet
1936 Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. <BR>	-- Thomas F. Jones (1916-1981), president of …
1937 God gives us relatives; thank God, we can choose our friends. <BR>	-- Addison Mizner (1872-1933), T…
1938 God save me from my friends; I can take care of my enemies. <BR>	-- English proverb, ca. 1477
1939 …s when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better. <BR>	-- Plutarch (46-120…
1940 I might give my life for my friend, but he had better not ask me to do up a parcel. <BR>	-- Logan P…
1941 If all men knew what others say of them, there would not be four friends in the world. <BR>	-- Blai…
1942 Love your enemies just in case your friends turn out to be a bunch of bastards. <BR>	-- R. A. Dicks…
1943 My best friend would be the man who blew my brains out with a pistol. <BR>	-- Edgar Allan Poe (1804…
1944 My friends!  There are no friends. <BR>	-- Aristotle (384-322 B.C.), Greek philosopher
1945 Never exaggerate your faults. Your friends will attend to that. <BR>	-- Robert C. Edwards
1946 One should forgive one's enemies, but not before they are hanged. <BR>	-- Heinrich Heine (1797-1856…
1947 …p down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral. <BR>	-- Robert Orben (19…
1948 …stitute, a robber, a cheat, a goldsmith, a monkey, a doctor, and a distiller. <BR>	-- Hindu proverb
1949 We should forgive our enemies, but only after they have been hanged first. <BR>	-- Heinrich Heine (…
1950 …riends, and they were imaginary and they would only play with each other. <BR>	-- Rita Rudner, U.S…
1951 Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies. <BR>	-- Gore Vidal (1925--) in New York …
1952 Your friend is that man who knows all about you, and still likes you. <BR>	-- Elbert Hubbard U.S. e…
1953 I have seen the future and it doesn't work. <BR>	-- Robert Fulford, Canadian journalist
1954 …eacher, because in the future, there will be so much more of it to teach. <BR>	-- Bill Muse, U.S. …
1955 It's tough to make predictions, especially about the future. <BR>	-- Yogi Berra (1925--), U.S. base…
1956 The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time. <BR>	-- Dean Acheson (1893…
1957 The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be. <BR>	-- Paul Valery (1871-…
1958 …tention to the future, which is a little ironic since we may not have one. <BR>	-- Arthur J. Clarke
1959 A gentleman is one who never strikes a woman without provocation. <BR>	-- H.L. Mencken (1880-1956),…
1960 A lady is one who never shows her underwear unintentionally. <BR>	-- Lilian Day, Kiss and Tell
1961 Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a big unchivalrous. <BR>	--…
1962 Gentlemen prefer blondes, but take what they can get. <BR>	-- Don Herold (1889-1966), U.S. humorist
1963 Gentlemen prefer blondes. <BR>	-- Anita Loos (1893-1981), U.S. screenwriter
1964 Gentlemen prefer bonds. <BR>	-- Andrew Mellon (1921-1932), U.S. industrialist
1965 It is possible that blondes also prefer gentlemen. <BR>	-- Mamie Van Doren, (1931--), U.S. actress
1966 …don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did. <BR>	-- P.J. O'Rourke (1…
1967 I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me. <BR>	-- Bette Midler (1945-…
1968 Life is too short to learn German. <BR>	-- Richard Porson (1759-1808), English classical scholar
1969 The Germans are like women. You can scarcely ever fathom their depths -- they haven't any. <BR>	-- …
1970 The German mind has a talent for making no mistakes but the very greatest. <BR>	-- Clifton Fadiman,…
1971 The reason there is so little crime in Germany is that it's against the law. <BR>	-- Alex Levin
1972 … can always reason with a barnyard animal, too, for all the good it does. <BR>	-- P.J. O'Rourke "H…
1973 I don't believe in ghosts, but I've been afraid of them all my life. <BR>	-- Charles A. Dana (1819-…
1974 I hate to spread rumors -- but what else can one do with them. <BR>	-- Amanda Lear, model/singer, i…
1975 Some people will believe anything if it is whispered to them. <BR>	-- Pierre de Miramax
1976 There are many who dare not kill themselves for fear of what the neighbors will say. <BR>	-- Cyril …
1977 A good statue can be rolled downhill without damage. <BR>	-- Michaelangelo (1475-1564), Italian scu…
1978 Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive. <BR>	-- Ge…
1979 Good taste is the excuse I've always given for leading such a bad life. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1856-1…
1980 I am a deeply superficial person. <BR>	-- Andy Warhol (1928-1987), U.S. artist
1981 I am only an average man, but, by George, I work at it harder than the average man. <BR>	-- Theodor…
1982 I can resist everything except temptation. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1856-1900), Irish author
1983 I don't deserve any credit for turning the other cheek as my tongue is always in it. <BR>	-- Flanne…
1984 I don't necessarily agree with everything I say. <BR>	-- Marshall McLuhan (1911-1980), Canadian med…
1985 I have simple tastes. I am always satisfied with the best. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1856-1900), Irish w…
1986 …nderstood, but I would have suffered a lot more if I had been understood. <BR>	-- Clarence Darrow …
1987 …I want a man who's kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?  <BR>	-- Zsa …
1988 …en I was eight years old. At least, that's what he told us in the letter. <BR>	-- Drew Carey, (195…
1989 I would have made a good Pope. <BR>	-- Richard M. Nixon, US President (1913-1994)
1990 If I was two-faced, would I be using this one?  <BR>	-- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865), US President
1991 I'm a fat anorexic. <BR>	-- Kiri Te Kanawa (1948--), Maori soprano
1992 It is a cursed evil to any man to become so absorbed in any subject as I am in mine. <BR>	-- Charle…
1993 I've been on a calendar, but never on time. <BR>	-- Marilyn Monroe, Look, 16 January 1962, US actre…
1994 …u, or that I can even tolerate it. I simply have a morbid interest in it. <BR>	-- Robert Benchley …
1995 My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments. <BR>	-- John Barrymore, (1882-1942), U.…
1996 People don't know my real self and they're not about to find out. <BR>	-- Yul Brynner (1920-1985), …
1997 The trouble with me is I can't worry. Damn it, I try to worry, and I can't. <BR>	-- Robert Benchley…
1998 There used to be a me, but I had it surgically removed. <BR>	-- Peter Sellers, Time, 1980, British …
1999 To be a great champion, you must believe you are the best. If you're not, pretend you are. <BR>	-- …
2000 We are all worms, but I do believe that I am a glow-worm. <BR>	-- Winston Churchill (1874-1965 ), E…
2001 We've all been blessed with God-given talents. Mine just happens to be beating people up. <BR>	-- S…
2002 You can build a throne with bayonets, but you can't sit on it for long. <BR>	-- Boris Yeltsin, (193…
2003 Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. <BR>	-- Hector Berlioz (1803-18…
2004 Experience is the worst teacher; it gives the test before presenting the lesson. <BR>	-- Vernon Law…
2005 It is easy to assume a habit; but when you try to cast it off, it will take skin and all. <BR>	-- J…
2006 …rld is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the bad ones. <BR>	-- W. Somerset Maug…
2007 All the historical books which contain no lies are extremely tedious. <BR>	-- Anatole France (1844-…
2008 God cannot alter the past, though historians can. <BR>	-- Samuel Butler, "Prose Observations"
2009 Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them. <BR>	-- L…
2010 …yells "Can't you remember anything I told you?" and lets fly with a club. <BR>	-- John W. Campbell…
2011 History repeats itself, and that's one of the things that's wrong with history. <BR>	-- Clarence Da…
2012 History is bunk. <BR>	-- Henry Ford (1863-1947), U.S. industrialist
2013 History: gossip well told. <BR>	-- Elbert Hubbard, The Roycroft Dictionary
2014 History is the sum total of the things that could have been avoided. <BR>	-- Konrad Adenauer (1876-…
2015 History repeats itself. Historians repeat each other. <BR>	-- Philip Guedalla (1889-1944), "Supers …
2016 …bout the past -- something like trying to make birth control retroactive. <BR>	-- Charles E. Wilso…
2017 Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these. <BR>	-- Ovid (43 B.C.-17 A.D.), Rom…
2018 …et it, the Russians never make it, and the Americans never learn from it. <BR>	-- Bishop Fulton J.…
2019 The past always looks better than it was; it's only pleasant because it isn't here. <BR>	-- Finley …
2020 The very ink with which all history is written is merely fluid prejudice. <BR>	-- Mark Twain (1835-…
2021 …epeat its errors. Those who do study it will find some other ways to err. <BR>	-- Charles Wolf Jr.…
2022 We learn from history that we learn nothing from history. <BR>	-- George Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel (1…
2023 A guy who'd cheat on his wife would cheat at cards. <BR>	-- Texas Guinan (1878-1933), U.S. bartender
2024 A gypsy tells the truth once in his life, and immediately repents. <BR>	-- Russian proverb
2025 Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete/Successfully in business. Cheat. <BR>	-- Ambrose Bierce (18…
2026 …e thinks truth, and every other man has a right to knock him down for it. <BR>	-- Samuel Johnson (…
2027 Honesty is praised and starves. <BR>	-- Juvenal (50-130), Roman satirist
2028 Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense. <BR>	-- Steve Landesberg (1945--), U.…
2029 I can't tell a lie -- not even when I hear one. <BR>	-- John Kendrick Bangs (1862-1922), writer
2030 I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it. <BR>	-- Ashleigh Brilliant (193…
2031 I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot. <BR>	-- Woody Allen (1935--), U.S. filmma…
2032 …ly to practice honesty, many thousands of people would be sure to starve. <BR>	-- Georg G. Lichten…
2033 If one cannot invent a really convincing lie, it is often better to stick to the truth. <BR>	-- Ang…
2034 It is annoying to be honest to no purpose. <BR>	-- Ovid (43 B.C.-18 A.D.), Roman poet
2035 … to speak the truth, unless of course you are an exceptionally good liar. <BR>	-- Jerome K. Jerome…
2036 Make yourself an honest man and then you can be sure there is one rascal less in the world. <BR>	--…
2037 …most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened. <BR>	-- Winston Churchil…
2038 Never underestimate the effectiveness of a straight cash bribe. <BR>	-- Claud Cockburn (1904-1981),…
2039 Never tell a lie, but the truth you don't have to tell. <BR>	-- George Safir
2040 People need good lies. There are too many bad ones. <BR>	-- Kurt Vonnegut Jr. (1922--), U.S. noveli…
2041 Put all thine eggs in one basket and -- watch that basket. <BR>	-- Mark Twain (1835-1910).
2042 Tell the truth and run. <BR>	-- Yugoslavian proverb
2043 That's not a lie, it's a terminological inexactitude. <BR>	-- Alexander Haig (1924--), U.S. politic…
2044 The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made. <BR>	-- Jean Girado…
2045 …ace when the Found ads in the newspapers begin to outnumber the Lost ads. <BR>	-- Lisa Kirk, U.S. …
2046 There are times and countries when the only place for an honest man is in jail. <BR>	-- Thomas Mann…
2047 Those you trust the most can steal the most. <BR>	-- Lawrence Leif
2048 Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance. <BR>	-- William Shakespeare (1564-16…
2049 Trust everybody, but cut the cards. <BR>	-- Finley Peter Dunne (1867-1936), U.S. humorist
2050 …veryone knows her, but it is embarrassing to encounter her on the street. <BR>	-- Wolfgang Borcher…
2051 Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it. <BR>	-- Mark Twain (1835-1910)
2052 Unless a man feels he has a good enough memory, he should never venture to lie. <BR>	-- Michel de M…
2053 What a lot of people are saving for a rainy day is somebody else's umbrella. <BR>	-- Caroline Clark…
2054 When in doubt, tell the truth. <BR>	-- Mark Twain (1835-1910)
2055 When you deal with your brother, be pleasant, but get a witness. <BR>	-- Hesiod, Works and Ways, 8t…
2056 Housework can kill you if done right. <BR>	-- Erma Bombeck, (1927-1996), U.S. humorist
2057 I would rather lie on a sofa than sweep beneath it. <BR>	-- Shirley Conran (1932--), U.S. novelist
2058 Nature abhors a vacuum and so do I. <BR>	-- Anne Gibbons, U.S. cartoonist
2059 Only a fool would make the bed every day. <BR>	-- Nancy Spain
2060 There's no real need to do housework -- after four years it doesn't get any worse. <BR>	-- Quentin …
2061 When Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner, then I'll clean the house. <BR>	-- Roseanne Barr…
2062 All men are born equal, but quite a few eventually get over it. <BR>	-- Lord Mancroft (1914--), Bri…
2063 …t a man is a human being -- that is enough for me; he can't be any worse. <BR>	-- Mark Twain (1835…
2064 …and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at. <BR>	-- Josh Billings (1…
2065 Don't overestimate the decency of the human race. <BR>	-- H.L. Mencken (1880-1956), U.S. journalist
2066 Every man has a sane spot somewhere. <BR>	-- Robert Louis Stevenson (1854-1894), English author
2067 …, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. <BR>	-- H.L. Mencken (18…
2068 Everyone is as God made him, and often a great deal worse. <BR>	-- Miguel de Cervantes (1547-1616),…
2069 Half of us are blind, few of us feel, and we are all deaf. <BR>	-- Sir William Osler (1849-1919), C…
2070 …ed by water as a device of transporting itself from one place to another. <BR>	-- Tom Robbins (193…
2071 I am a member of the rabble in good standing. <BR>	-- Westbrook Pegler (1894 - 1969), U.S. journali…
2072 I believe I've found the missing link between animal and civilized man. It's us. <BR>	-- Konrad Lor…
2073 …t trust the rest of the goobers with anything more dangerous than string. <BR>	-- Scott Adams, "Di…
2074 …, but if there are, they must be using the earth as their lunatic asylum. <BR>	-- George Bernard S…
2075 …w what a respectable man is like, and it's enough to make your flesh creep. <BR>	-- J.M. De Maistre
2076 I hate mankind, for I think of myself as one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am. <BR>	-- …
2077 I haven't much doubt that man sprang from the monkey, but where did the monkey spring from?  <BR>	-…
2078 I love mankind, it's people I can't stand. <BR>	-- Charles M. Shulz, Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown, …
2079 I wonder men dare trust themselves with men. <BR>	-- William Shakespeare (1564-1616)
2080 If I didn't panic when I found out that I was a human being, I'm never going to. <BR>	-- James Thur…
2081 … the opportunity to kill always came together, who would escape hanging?  <BR>	-- Mark Twain (1835…
2082 If you treat people right they will treat you right -- ninety percent of the time. <BR>	-- Franklin…
2083 In creating the human brain, evolution has wildly overshot the mark. <BR>	-- Arthur Koestler (1905-…
2084 It is easier to denature plutonium than to denature the evil spirit of man. <BR>	-- Albert Einstein…
2085 Know thyself?  If I knew myself, I'd run away. <BR>	-- Johann Goethe 1749-1832), German author
2086 Lycanthropy/I comprehend, for without transformation/Men become wolves on any slight occasion. <BR>…
2087 Methinks we might elevate ourselves a little more. We might climb a tree, at least. <BR>	-- Henry D…
2088 No doubt Jack the Ripper excused himself on the grounds that it was human nature. <BR>	-- Alan Alex…
2089 On the whole, human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time. <BR>	-- G…
2090 …e don't know what they want and are willing to go through hell to get it. <BR>	-- Don Marquis (187…
2091 People shouldn't be treated like objects. They aren't that valuable. <BR>	-- P.J. O'Rourke (1947--)…
2092 People will buy anything that's one to a customer. <BR>	-- Sinclair Lewis (1885-1951), U.S. novelist
2093 Such is the human race. Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party didn't miss the boat. <BR…
2094 The average person thinks he isn't. <BR>	-- Reverend Larry Lorenzoni, U.S. priest
2095 …rds; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner. <BR>	-- Mark Twain (1835…
2096 The people are to be taken in very small doses. <BR>	-- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1883), U.S. essay…
2097 The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1856-1900), Irish author
2098 The world is divided into people who do things -- and people who get the credit. <BR>	-- Dwight Mor…
2099 …ly divide the people of the world into two classes, and those who do not. <BR>	-- Robert Benchley …
2100 We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1856-1900),…
2101 We are all on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know. <BR>	-- W. …
2102 We are only cave men who have lost their cave. <BR>	-- Christopher Morley (1890-1957), U.S. editor/…
2103 We are the people our parents warned us against. <BR>	-- Nicholas von Hoffman, U.S. columnist
2104 What keeps people apart is their inability to get together. <BR>	-- Mayor Richard J. Daley of Chica…
2105 Whatever you may be sure of, be sure of this -- that you are dreadfully like other people. <BR>	-- …
2106 When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other. <BR>	-- Eric Hoffer (19…
2107 … show that she is big enough to make mistakes, or was it pure ignorance?  <BR>	-- Holbrook Jackson…
2108 You may break your heart, but men will go on as before. <BR>	-- Marcus Aurelius (121-180), Meditati…
2109 Don't be so humble. You're not that great. <BR>	-- Golde Meir, Prime Minister of Israel
2110 It ain't bragging if you really done it. <BR>	-- Dizzy Dean (1911-1974), U.S. baseball player
2111 What the world needs is more geniuses with humility. There are so few of us left. <BR>	-- Oscar Lev…
2112 One of the great disadvantages of hurry is that it takes such a long time. <BR>	-- G.K. Chesterton …
2113 There is never enough time, unless you're serving it. <BR>	-- Malcolm Forbes (1919-1990), U.S. publ…
2114 He who laughs, lasts. <BR>	-- Mary Pettibone Poole, writer, in A Glass Eye at a Keyhole, 1938
2115 I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. <BR>	-- Woody Allen (1935-- ), U…
2116 If you are not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don't want to go there. <BR>	-- Martin Luther (1483-15…
2117 Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects. <BR>	-- Arnold H. Glasow
2118 A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. <BR>	-- Benjamin Franklin (1706-1…
2119 A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer. <BR>	-- Robert Frost …
2120 …hat lawyers are as honest as other men, but that is not very encouraging. <BR>	-- Ferdinand Lundbe…
2121 …ows. How come the government never does anything like this with lawyers?  <BR>	-- P. J. O'Rourke (…
2122 God works wonders now and then; Behold a lawyer an honest man. <BR>	-- Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790…
2123 He is no lawyer who cannot take sides. <BR>	-- Charles Lamb (1775-1834), poet
2124 I think we may class the lawyer in the natural history of monsters. <BR>	-- John Keats (1795-1821),…
2125 I always figured that being a good robber was like being a good lawyer. <BR>	-- Willie Sutton, (190…
2126 If half the lawyers would become plumbers, two of man's biggest problems would be solved. <BR>	-- F…
2127 If it weren't for the lawyers we wouldn't need them. <BR>	-- William Jennings Bryan (1860-1925), U.…
2128 Laws are like sausages. It is better not to see them being made. <BR>	-- Otto von Bismarck (1815-18…
2129 Lawyers and insurance agents deserve one another. <BR>	-- Craig Vetter
2130 Lawyers are jackals. <BR>	-- Erasmus (1465-1536)
2131 Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke. <BR>	-- Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.
2132 Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. <BR>	-- Charles Lamb (1775-1834)
2133 Lawyers: persons who write a 10,000 word document and call it a brief. <BR>	-- Franz Kafka (1884-19…
2134 Most lawyers are swine. And not even nice swine. <BR>	-- Charles McCabe
2135 The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. <BR>	-- William Shakespeare (1564-1616), Henry V…
2136 The laws I love; the lawyers I suspect. <BR>	-- Charles Churchill (1731-1764)
2137 …dead lawyer lying in the road is that there are skid marks around the skunk. <BR>	-- Patrick Murray
2138 The people can change Congress but only God can change the Supreme Court. <BR>	-- George W. Norris
2139 …y of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read. <BR>	-- Mark Twain (1835…
2140 … hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. <BR>	-- Norm Crosby, U.S…
2141 When you have no basis for an argument, abuse the plaintiff. <BR>	-- Marcus Tullius Cicero (160-43 …
2142 Where there's a will, there's a lawsuit. <BR>	-- Addison Mizner (1872-1933), U.S. resort architect
2143 …ens grievous to be borne, and ye touch not the burdens with one of your fingers. <BR>	-- Luke 11:46
2145 Half a loaf is better than no free time at all. <BR>	-- J.D. Ward
2146 …eath the sun;/He lived a life of going-to-do,/And died with nothing done. <BR>	-- James Albery's e…
2147 How beautiful it is to do nothing, and then to rest afterward. <BR>	-- Spanish proverb
2148 It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do. <BR>	-- Jerome K. …
2149 …ss afternoon in a perfectly useless manner, you have learned how to live. <BR>	-- Lin Yutang (1895…
2150 … vigorous enough to go right on in the same way for numerous more months. <BR>	-- Artemus Ward (18…
2151 It is better to have loafed and lost than never to have loafed at all. <BR>	-- James Thurber (1894-…
2152 …ng that you can do sitting, or anything sitting that you can do lying down. <BR>	-- Chinese proverb
2153 Whenever I feel the urge to exercise coming on, I lie down until it passes over. <BR>	--attributed …
2154 Education is a wonderful thing. If you couldn't sign your name you'd have to pay cash. <BR>	-- Rita…
2155 …sts than European students, Japanese students and certain species of elk. <BR>	-- Dave Barry, Bad …
2156 He is either dead or teaching school. <BR>	-- Zenobius (117-138), Greek sophist
2157 … their lives; and all through immoderate pains and extraordinary studies. <BR>	-- Robert Burton, A…
2158 For every person wishing to teach there are thirty not wanting to be taught. <BR>	-- W.C. Sellar an…
2159 In the first place, God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards. <BR>	-- Mar…
2160 It is tiresome to hear education discussed, tiresome to educate, and tiresome to be educated. <BR>	…
2161 …mon abhorrence that they drive him into the profession of a schoolmaster. <BR>	--Seneca ,"Epistola…
2162 Much knowledge is a curse. <BR>	-- Chuang-Tzu (369-286 B.C.) Chinese Taoist philosopher
2163 It's easier to graduate than to learn. <BR>	-- Robert Half
2164 Of making many books there is no end; and much study is a weariness of the flesh. <BR>	-- Ecclesias…
2165 Thou hast most traitorously corrupted the youth of the realm in erecting a grammar school. <BR>	-- …
2166 Try not to have a good time... this is supposed to be educational. <BR>	-- Charles Schulz, "Peanuts…
2167 You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over??  Movie Day. <BR>	-- Jay Mohr (1970--), U.S. come…
2168 All men's lives are fairy tales written by the fingers of God. <BR>	-- Hans Christian Anderson (180…
2169 Any idiot can face a crisis -- it's this day-to-day living that wears you out. <BR>	-- Anton Chekho…
2170 Be careful how you interpret the world; it is like that. <BR>	-- Erich Heller, U.S. literary critic
2171 Have you ever had the feeling life is a black tuxedo and you were a pair of brown shoes?  <BR>	-- G…
2172 I wept when I was born and every day explains why. <BR>	-- Spanish proverb
2173 If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner. <BR>	-- Tallulah Bankhead …
2174 In the fight between you and the world, back the world. <BR>	-- Franz Kafka (1884-1924), novelist
2175 In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on. <BR>	-- Robert Frost (1…
2176 In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these. <BR>	-- Paul …
2177 It is not certain that everything is uncertain. <BR>	-- Blaise Pascal (1623-1662), Pensees, 1670
2178 … to the swift, nor the battle to the strong -- but that's the way to bet  <BR>	-- Damon Runyon 188…
2179 It's a grand life, if you don't tire. <BR>	-- Gaelic proverb
2180 Life does not begin at conception, but when the kids leave home and the dog dies. <BR>	-- Russ Jame…
2181 Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it. <BR>	-- Dave Barry, U.S. humorist
2182 Lif is too short. <BR>	-- Bart Gold (1970--)
2183 …e's no way out and you can only rage impotently against your persecutors. <BR>	-- Woody Allen (193…
2184 Life is a dead-end street. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1880-1956), U.S. journalist
2185 Life is a dream -- but don't wake me. <BR>	-- Yiddish proverb
2186 Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint on it you can. <BR>	-- Danny Kaye (1913-1987), U.S.…
2187 Life is a hospital in which every patient is possessed by the desire to change his bed. <BR>	-- Pie…
2188 Life is a quarantine for paradise. <BR>	-- Karl Julius Weber (1767-1832), German writer
2189 Life is a rollercoaster. Try to eat a light lunch. <BR>	-- David A. Schmaltz, U.S. writer
2190 Life is a sexually-transmitted disease. <BR>	-- Guy Bellamy, U.S. author
2191 Life is a zoo in a jungle. <BR>	-- Peter De Vries, (1910--), U.S. writer
2192 … the squirrel, the bear, the begonia, and many lawyers are forms of Life. <BR>	-- Dave Barry, Bad …
2193 …f only because it is less boring, and because it has fresh peaches in it. <BR>	-- Alice Walker (19…
2194 Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. <BR>	-- Woody Allen (1935--), U.S. film-maker
2195 Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering -- and it's all over much too soon. <BR>	-- Woody…
2196 Life is just one damned thing after another. <BR>	-- Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915), U.S. editor/publis…
2197 …ou don't want to leave in the middle, but you don't want to see it again. <BR>	-- Ted Turner, (193…
2198 Life is like a dog-sled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. <BR>	-- Lewis G…
2199 Life is like a scrambled egg. <BR>	-- Don Marquis (1878-1937), "Frustration"
2200 Life is like a ten-speed bike. Most of us have gears we never use. <BR>	-- Charles M. Schulz (1922-…
2201 Life is like an onion: you peel off layer after layer and then you find there is nothing in it. <BR…
2202 Life is not a spectacle or a feast; it is a predicament. <BR>	-- George Santayana (1863-1952), Arti…
2203 Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique and not too much imagination. <BR>	-…
2204 Life is one long process of getting tired. <BR>	-- Samuel Butler, 1912
2205 Life is something that everyone should try at least once. <BR>	-- Henry J. Tillman
2206 Life is something to do when you can't get to sleeep. <BR>	-- Fran Lebowitz (1950--), U.S. writer
2207 Life is too short to be small. <BR>	-- Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881), British Prime Minister
2208 Life is too short to do anything for one's self that one can pay others to do for one. <BR>	-- W. S…
2209 Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest. <BR>	-- Wilson Mizner (187…
2210 Life can be divided into the horrible and the miserable. <BR>	-- Woody Allen (1935--), Annie Hall
2211 …ing sex and not much about having children. Life is the other way around. <BR>	-- David Lodge, The…
2212 Living is like licking honey off a thorn. <BR>	-- Louis Adamic (1899-1951), U.S. novelist/journalist
2213 My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot. <BR>	-- Ashley Brilliant (1933--), U.S. …
2214 My theory is to enjoy life, but the practice is against it. <BR>	-- Charles Lamb (1775-1834), Engli…
2215 Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious. <BR>	-- Brendan Gill (191…
2216 Reality is a collective hunch. <BR>	-- Mel Seesholtz, Penn State U. professor
2217 …, sleep. Die, search for meaning, search for meaning, search for meaning. <BR>	-- Doug Horton, SF …
2218 Strange as it may seem, my life is based on a true story. <BR>	-- Ashley Brilliant, (1933--), U.S. …
2219 The meaning of life is that it stops. <BR>	-- Franz Kafka (1884-1924), novelist
2220 …cond-rate,/The things I want to do I can't,/And what I have to do I hate. <BR>	-- Don Marquis (187…
2221 The times are not so bad as they seem; they couldn't be. <BR>	-- Jay Franklin (1897--)
2222 The whole world is a scab. The point is to pick it constructively. <BR>	-- Peter Beard (1938--), U.…
2223 The world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed. <BR>	-- Sean O'Casey (1880-1964), I…
2224 There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it. <BR…
2225 There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval. <BR>	-- George Santayana (1863-195…
2226 Things aren't as bad as they seem. They are worse. <BR>	-- Bill Press, U.S. columnist
2227 To dream is happiness; to wake is life. <BR>	-- Victor Hugo (1802-1885), French novelist
2228 While we are postponing, life speeds by. <BR>	-- Seneca (3 BC-65 AD), Roman playwright
2229 Hamlet is the tragedy of tackling a family problem too soon after college. <BR>	-- Tom Masson (1866…
2230 …ing sex and not much about having children. Life is the other way around. <BR>	-- David Dodge (191…
2231 Never judge a book by its meeting. <BR>	-- J.W. Eagan
2232 Our American professors like their literature clean and cold and pure and very dead. <BR>	-- Sincla…
2233 …and out as the supreme type of all that a host and hostess should not be. <BR>	-- Max Beerbohm (18…
2234 It's the poor loser who finally loses out. <BR>	-- Kin Hubbard (1868-1930), U.S. humorist
2235 …one question: "Would I mind being destroyed financially by this person?"  <BR>	-- Ronnie Shakes, "…
2236 …Kissinger, and nothing like Robert Redford -- but you'll take him anyway. <BR>	-- Judith Viorst (1…
2237 It is better to have loved a small man than never to have loved a tall. <BR>	-- Mary Jo Crowley, Co…
2238 Love conquers all except poverty and toothache. <BR>	-- Mae West (1892-1980), U.S. actress
2239 Love is a grave mental disease. <BR>	-- Plato (428-347 B.C.), Greek philosopher
2240 …ittle jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun. <BR>	-- Matt Groening, (…
2241 …ly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come. <BR>	-- Matt Groening, "…
2242 Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke  <BR>	-- Lynda Barry (1956--), U.S. cartoonist
2243 Love is being stupid together. <BR>	-- Paul Valery (1871-1945), French poet/essayist
2244 Love is just a chemical reaction. But it's fun trying to find the formula. <BR>	-- J.D. Shantel, pr…
2245 Love is like the measles. The older you get it, the worse the attack. <BR>	-- Mary Roberts Rinehart…
2246 …ght girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. <BR>	-- Judith Viorst in…
2247 Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin -- it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring. <BR>	--…
2248 Love is the same as like except you feel sexier. <BR>	-- Judith Viorst, (1931--), U.S. poet
2249 Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it. <BR>	-- Woody Allen (1935--), U.S. film-maker
2250 Stay me with flagons, comfort me with apples: for I am sick of love. <BR>	-- The Song of Solomon, 2…
2251 …out banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. <BR>	-- Erich Segal (193…
2252 True love is like seeing ghosts: we all talk about it, but few of us have ever seen one. <BR>	-- Lo…
2253 Two things only a man cannot hide: that he is drunk and that he is in love. <BR>	-- Antiphanes (c.3…
2254 We had a lot in common. I loved him and he loved him. <BR>	-- Shelley Winters, (1920--), US movie a…
2255 You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it. <BR>	-- Henny Youngman, (1906-1998), U.S. comed…
2256 Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit. <BR>	-- R. E. …
2257 I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages. <BR>	-- William H. Mauldin (1921--), U.S. cartooni…
2258 I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not. <BR>	-- Fran Lebo…
2259 If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky?  <BR>	--Stanislaw J. Lec
2260 It is bad luck to be superstitious. <BR>	-- Andrew W. Mathis
2261 So unlucky that he runs into accidents which started out to happen to somebody else. <BR>	-- Don Ma…
2262 The only sure thing about luck is that it will change. <BR>	-- Wilson Mizner (1876-1933), U.S. wit
2263 We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?  <BR>	-- J…
2264 You need a strong stomach to digest luck. <BR>	-- Russian proverb
2265 A fool and his money are soon married. <BR>	-- Carolyn Wells (1870-1942), U.S. writer
2266 A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. <BR>	-- Grace Hansen
2267 All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart. <BR>	-- Anonymous
2268 An ideal husband is one who treats his wife like a new car. <BR>	-- Dan Bennett, U.S. columnist
2269 …on is only proving that she doesn't understand either men or percentages. <BR>	-- Flo Kennedy (191…
2270 …nk, gambling, biting his nails and picking his nose, but not of marrying. <BR>	-- William Faulkner…
2271 Archaelogists make the best husbands. The older you get, the more they're interested. <BR>	-- Agath…
2272 As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will, he will be sure to repent. <BR>	--…
2273 Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too. <BR>	-- He…
2274 Bigamy is having one husband too many. Monogamy is the same. <BR>	-- Erica Jong (1942--)
2275 …, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. <BR>	-- Socrates (469-39…
2276 Call no man unhappy until he is married. <BR>	-- Socrates (469-399 B.C.), Greek philosopher/teacher
2277 He who lives without quarreling is a bachelor. <BR>	-- St. Jerome (340-420)
2278 Housewives deserve well-furnished minds. They have to live in them such a lot of the time. <BR>	-- …
2279 I am too much interested in other men's wives to think of getting one of my own. <BR>	-- George Moo…
2280 I believe in large families. Every woman should have at least three husbands. <BR>	-- Zsa Zsa Gabor…
2281 I can't mate in captivity. <BR>	-- Gloria Steinem (1934--), U.S. activist
2282 I do not refer to myself as a 'housewife' for the reason that I did not marry a house. <BR>	-- Wilm…
2283 …find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. <BR>	-- Rita Rudner, U.S…
2284 I married beneath me -- all women do. <BR>	-- Lady Nancy Astor (1879-1964), English politician
2285 I never knew what real happiness was until I got married and by then it was too late. <BR>	-- Max K…
2286 …arrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night. <BR>	-- Marie Corelli, (…
2287 I shall marry in haste, and repeat at leisure. <BR>	-- James Branch Cabell (1879-1958), U.S. fantas…
2288 I think, therefore I'm single. <BR>	-- Liz Winstead, U.S. comedy TV writer
2289 If I ever marry it will be on sudden impulse, as a man shoots himself. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1880-…
2290 … you're sorry, then marriage means always having to say everything twice. <BR>	-- Estelle Getty (1…
2291 If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry. <BR>	-- Anton Chekhov (1860-1904), Russian physician/…
2292 If you marry, you will regret it. If you do not marry, you will also regret it. <BR>	-- Soren Kierk…
2293 It is as hard to arrange a good marriage as it was to divide the Red Sea. <BR>	-- Talmud: Sotah, 2A
2294 …oo much of a woman to expect her to bring up her husband and her children too. <BR>	-- Lillian Bell
2295 It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't. <BR>	-- Spike Milligan, (1918-2002),…
2296 Jesus was a bachelor. <BR>	-- Don Herold (1889-1966), U.S. humorist
2297 Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half-shut afterwards. <BR>	-- Benjamin Franklin (1706-179…
2298 Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl. <BR>	-- Stephen Leac…
2299 Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures. <BR>	-- Samuel Johnson (1709-1784), English…
2300 Marriage, if one will face the truth, is an evil, but a necessary evil. <BR>	-- Menander (342-291 B…
2301 Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. <BR>	-- F. M. Knowles, A Chee…
2302 Marriage is an adventure, like going to war. <BR>	-- G.K. Chesterton (1874-1936), English writer
2303 Marriage is good for those who are afraid to sleep alone at night. <BR>	-- St. Jerome (345-420), At…
2304 Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. <BR>	-- Irwin C…
2305 Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up. <BR>	-- Joseph Barth
2306 Married women are kept women, and they are beginning to find it out. <BR>	-- Logan Pearsall Smith (…
2307 …ou find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. <BR>	-- Socrates (470-39…
2308 My wife doesn't care what I do when I'm away, as long as I don't have a good time. <BR>	-- Lee Trev…
2309 Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. <BR>	-- P.J. O'Rourke (1947--), Modern Manne…
2310 …ave thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you. <BR>	-- Jean Rostand, "L…
2311 Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near. <BR>	-- Helen Rowland (1876 - 1950), English-…
2312 Niagara Falls is only the second biggest disappointment of the standard honeymoon. <BR>	-- Oscar Wi…
2313 One good husband is worth two good wives; for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued. <BR>…
2314 One man's folly is another man's wife. <BR>	-- Helen Rowland (1876 - 1950), English-American writer
2315 One of the best things about marriage is that it gets young people to bed at a decent hour. <BR>	--…
2316 Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - arriage does. <BR>	-- Groucho Marx (1890-1977)
2317 …eavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (185…
2318 Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. <BR>	-- Gloria Steinem (1934--), U.S. activist
2319 Take it from me -- marriage isn't a word -- it's a sentence. <BR>	-- King Vidor, (1894-1982), U.S. …
2320 The bonds of wedlock are so heavy that it takes two to carry them -- sometimes three. <BR>	-- Alexa…
2321 The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin. <BR>	-- Honore de Bal…
2322 The only good husbands stay bachelors; they're too considerate to get married. <BR>	-- Finley Peter…
2323 The trouble with marrying your mistress is that you create a job vacancy. <BR>	-- Sir James Goldsmi…
2324 …don, and not all are serious. Some are just husbands killing their wives. <BR>	-- Cmdr. G. H. Hath…
2325 There is more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. <BR>	-- John Heywood (1497?-1580?), English…
2326 … happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again. <BR>	-- Clint Eastwood, …
2327 We wedded men live in sorrow and care. <BR>	-- Chaucer (1340-1410), English author
2328 What God has put asunder, why should man put it together?  <BR>	-- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1883),…
2329 When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. <BR>	-- Sacha Gui…
2330 Where singleness is bliss, it's folly to be wives. <BR>	-- Bill Counselman, Ella Cinders
2331 Why does the blind man's wife paint herself?  <BR>	-- Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790), Poor Richard (…
2332 … rarely, if ever, be traded for anything useful like a set of golf clubs. <BR>	-- P.J. O'Rourke (1…
2333 Wives and watermelons are picked by chance. <BR>	-- Greek proverb
2334 Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough. <BR>	-- Groucho Marx (1890-1977), U.S. comedian
2335 A red-headed man will make a good stallion. <BR>	-- John Ray (1628-1705), English naturalist
2336 All phone calls are obscene. <BR>	-- Karen Elizabeth Gordon, U.S. writer
2337 Bad grammar is the leading cause of slow, painful death in North America. <BR>	-- Dave Barry, U.S. …
2338 … will cope with adversity in my traditional manner... sulking and nausea. <BR>	-- Tom K. Ryan (192…
2339 I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. <BR>	-- Gilda Radner, (1946-1989), U.S. comed…
2340 I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it. <BR>	-- Garrison Keillor (1942--),…
2341 I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it's much too confining. <BR>	-- Lily Toml…
2342 I have nothing definite to apologize for; I'm just sorry about everything in general. <BR>	-- Ashle…
2343 I liked things better when I didn't understand them. <BR>	-- Bill Watterson, "Calvin and Hobbes" co…
2344 I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent. <BR>	-- Ashleigh Brilliant (1933--), U…
2345 …me of more first-rate second-class men than any other state in the union. <BR>	-- Thomas R. Marsha…
2346 I'm troubled, I'm dissatisfied, I'm Irish. <BR>	-- Marianne Moore "Spenser's Ireland"
2347 My life has been full of terrible misfortunes most of which never happened. <BR>	-- Michel de Monta…
2348 My life needs a rewind/erase button. <BR>	-- Bill Watterson, "Calvin and Hobbes" comic strip
2349 Never resist a mad impulse to do something nice for me. <BR>	-- Ashleigh Brilliant (1933--), U.S. w…
2350 Reality continues to ruin my life. <BR>	-- Bill Watterson, "Calvin and Hobbes" comic strip
2351 …t of the world!  Happiness isn't good enough for me!  I demand euphoria!  <BR>	-- Bill Watterson, …
2352 There is no human problem which could not be solved if people would simply do as I advise. <BR>	-- …
2353 Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless. <BR>	-- Bill Watte…
2354 With me, it's just a genetic dissatisfaction with everything. <BR>	-- Woody Allen (1935-- ), U.S. f…
2355 A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car. <BR>	-- Carrie Snow, U.S. comed…
2356 …the Lord, but sent for a physician; and Nathan was gathered unto his fathers. <BR>	-- Old Testament
2357 Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live. <BR>	-- Ambros…
2358 Both the doctor and the Angel of Death kill -- but the doctor charges a fee for it. <BR>	-- Ibn Zab…
2359 God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. <BR>	-- Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790), Poor Richard, Nove…
2360 …ould well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them. <BR>	-- Martin H. Fische…
2361 He that sinneth before his Maker, let him fall into the hands of a physician. <BR>	-- Ecclesiastes …
2362 I die by the help of too many physicians. <BR>	-- Alexander the Great (356-323 BC), on his deathbed
2363 …it would be all the better for mankind, and all the worse for the fishes. <BR>	-- Oliver Wendell H…
2364 …kill everybody in the whole world, so he appointed doctors to assist him. <BR>	-- Nahman of Bratzl…
2365 Medicine can only cure curable diseases, and then not always. <BR>	-- Chinese proverb
2366 One of the best-kept medical secrets of our day: Everything gives white mice cancer. <BR>	-- Marvin…
2367 One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine. <BR>	-- Sir…
2368 …hat because you have lost your gall bladder you have also lost your mind. <BR>	-- Jean Kerr, (1923…
2369 Suicide is cheating the doctors out of a job. <BR>	-- Josh Billings (1818-1885), U.S. humorist
2370 …pochondriac these days is that antibiotics have cured all the good diseases. <BR>	-- Cackie Stinnet
2371 I don't know much about medicine, but I know what I like. <BR>	-- S.J. Perelman (-1979), U.S screen…
2372 Vaccination is undoubtedly a definite recognition of smallpox. <BR>	-- Winston Churchill (1874-1965…
2373 …r it, I think I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone. <BR>	-- Jan King
2374 A strong memory is commonly coupled with infirm judgment. <BR>	-- Michel de Montaigne (1533-1592), …
2375 …ee things: faces, names, and -- I can't remember what the third thing is. <BR>	--Fred Allen (1894-…
2376 I've a grand memory for forgetting. <BR>	-- Robert Louis Stevenson (1854-1894), English author
2377 …mptation he held out to me, but said I was engaged to meet him elsewhere. <BR>	-- Sydney Smith (17…
2378 Memory is a crazy woman that hoards colored rags and throws away food. <BR>	-- Austin O'Malley (185…
2379 A man is so in the way in the house. <BR>	-- Elizabeth Gaskell (1810-1865), English novelist
2380 A man who won't lie to a woman has very little consideration for her feelings. <BR>	-- Olin Miller
2381 A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. <BR>	-- Flo Kennedy (1916-2000), political …
2382 All men are forced into one of two categories; those with eleven fingers and those without. <BR>	--…
2383 All men kill the thing they hate, too, unless, of course, it kills them first. <BR>	-- James Thurbe…
2384 Beauty, like male ballet dancers, makes some men afraid. <BR>	-- Mordecai Richler (1931--), Canadia…
2385 Behind every successful man stands a proud wife and a surprised mother-in-law. <BR>	-- Brooks Hayes…
2386 Beware of the man who praises women's liberation; he is about to quit his job. <BR>	-- Erica Jong (…
2387 Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men. <BR>	-- Kin Hubbard (1868-1930), U.S. humo…
2388 Can you imagine a world without men?  No crime and lots of happy fat women. <BR>	-- Nicole Hollande…
2389 Don't accept rides from strange men -- and remember that all men are as strange as hell. <BR>	-- Ro…
2390 Every man loves the smell of his own farts. <BR>	-- Icelandic proverb
2391 …day; teach him how to fish and you can get rid of him of the entire weekend. <BR>	-- Zenna Schaffer
2392 Giving a man space is like giving a dog a computer: the chances are he will not use it wisely. <BR>…
2393 God created man because he was so disappointed in the monkey. <BR>	-- Mark Twain (1835-1910)
2394 God gave us a penis and a brain, but only enough blood to run one at a time. <BR>	-- Robin Williams…
2395 God invented man and I can do better than that. <BR>	-- Erma Bombeck (1927-1996), 1982
2396 …e -- no matter how rotten you are, it's impossible to sink to the bottom. <BR>	-- Sheila Tobias, U…
2397 He took misfortune like a man -- blamed it on his wife. <BR>	-- Brigid De Vine
2398 However we brave it out, we men are a little breed. <BR>	-- Alfred Lord Tennyson (1809-1892), "Maud…
2399 I believe the best definition of man is the ungrateful biped. <BR>	-- Feodor Dostoevski (1821-1881)…
2400 I like men to behave like men. I like them strong and childish. <BR>	-- Francoise Sagan (1935--), F…
2401 I like two kinds of men: domestic and foreign. <BR>	-- Mae West (1892-1980), U.S. actress
2402 I never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. <BR>	-- Zsa Zsa Gabor (ca. 1918--), Hollywood…
2403 I want a man who's kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?  <BR>	-- Zsa Z…
2404 If it weren't for women, men would still be wearing last week's socks. <BR>	-- Cynthia Nelms (1942-…
2405 If man is only a little lower than the angels, the angels should reform. <BR>	-- Mary Wilson Little…
2406 …lligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?  <BR>	-- Linda Ellerbee, …
2407 If men liked shopping, they'd call it research. <BR>	-- Cynthia Nelms (1942-1995), US musician, sin…
2408 If the world were a logical place, men would ride side-saddle. <BR>	-- Rita Mae Brown (1944--), U.S…
2409 …laws are shorter, and he is personally acquainted with the other members. <BR>	-- E.B. White (1899…
2410 …raising tomatoes, and in the cellar he's making a bomb to blow it all up. <BR>	-- Arthur Miller, (…
2411 Macho does not prove mucho. <BR>	-- Zsa Zsa Gabor (ca. 1918--), Hollywood actress
2412 Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. <BR>	-- Groucho Marx (189…
2413 Man is nature's sole mistake. <BR>	-- Alexander Pope (1688-1744), English poet
2414 Man is nature's sole mistake. <BR>	-- William S. Gilbert (1836-1911), Princess Ida
2415 Man is ready to die for an idea, provided that idea is not quite clear to him. <BR>	-- Paul Eldridge
2416 Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to. <BR>	-- Mark Twain (1835-1910)
2417 Man is the second strongest sex in the world. <BR>	-- Philip Barry (1896-1949), U.S. playwright
2418 Man puts woman on a pedestal so he won't have to look her in the eye. <BR>	-- Marian Stewart
2419 Man was created a little lower than the angels, and has been getting a little lower ever since. <BR…
2420 Man -- a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired. <BR>	-- Mark Twain (1835-1…
2421 Men and melons are hard to know. <BR>	-- Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790), Poor Richard, September 1733
2422 Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth. <BR>	-- Chuck Norris, (1940…
2423 …ls -- a mixture of horse-nervousness, ass-stubbornness, and camel-malice. <BR>	-- Thomas Henry Hux…
2424 …y contend successfully that the job of sewing on a button is beyond them. <BR>	-- Heywood Broun, (…
2425 … came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in. <BR>	-- Rita Rudner, Ame…
2426 Men hate to be misunderstood, and to be understood makes them furious. <BR>	-- Edgar Saltus (1855-1…
2427 Men have more problems than women. In the first place, they have to put up with women. <BR>	-- Fran…
2428 …a pedestal because it's so much more satisfying when they knock them off. <BR>	-- Clare Booth Luce…
2429 Mirrors and copulation are abominable because they increase the number of men. <BR>	-- Jorge Luis B…
2430 My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. <BR>	-- Tim All…
2431 No man is ever old enough to know better. <BR>	-- Holbrook Jackson, Ladies' Home Journal (January, …
2432 Some men are so macho they'll get you pregnant just to kill a rabbit. <BR>	-- Maureen Murphy
2433 Talking with a man is like trying to saddle a cow. You work like hell, but what's the point. <BR>	-…
2434 The main difference between men and women is that men are lunatics and women are idiots. <BR>	-- Re…
2435 The fastest way to a man's heart is through his chest. <BR>	-- Roseanne Barr, (1953--), U.S. comic
2436 The first time Adam had a chance, he laid the blame on women. <BR>	-- Lady Nancy Astor (1879-1964),…
2437 … if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things. <BR>	-- Jilly Cooper (19…
2438 The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. <BR>	-- Madame de Stael (1766-1817), French woman of l…
2439 The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can. <BR>	-- Margo Kaufman, U.S. wri…
2440 The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. <BR>	-- Natalie Wood, …
2441 When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. <BR>	-- Elayne…
2442 Women and small men are hard to handle. <BR>	-- Japanese proverb
2443 Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to be as mediocre as possible. <BR>	-- Margaret M…
2444 … satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. <BR>	-- Susanne Kollrack
2445 …man who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is the man who collects the rent. <BR>	-- Lord Webb-Johnso…
2446 Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined. <BR>	--attributed to Samuel Gold…
2447 …ics. They alone have founded our religions and composed our masterpieces. <BR>	-- Marcel Proust (1…
2448 … reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed. <BR>	-- James Thurber (1…
2449 … It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy. <BR>	-- Nora Ephron (194…
2450 One should only see a psychiatrist out of boredom. <BR>	-- Muriel Spark (1918--), Scottish author
2451 …lness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you. <BR>	-- Rita Mae Brown (…
2452 The only thing to know is how to use your neuroses. <BR>	-- Arthur Adamov (1908-1970), French drama…
2453 There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness". <BR>	-- Dave Barry, U.S. humorist
2454 There is a thin line between genius and insanity. I have erased that line. <BR>	-- Oscar Levant (19…
2455 We are all born mad. Some remain so. <BR>	-- Samuel Beckett (1906-1989), Irish playwright
2456 Miscellaneous is always the largest category. <BR>	-- Joel Rosenberg, The Warrior Lives, SF novelist
2457 I don't want to make the wrong mistake. <BR>	-- Yogi Berra (1925--), U.S. baseball player
2458 I never made a mistake in my life; at least, never one that I couldn't explain away afterward. <BR>…
2459 I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones. <BR>	-- John Peel
2460 If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error. <BR>	-- John Kenneth Gal…
2461 If you can't make a mistake, you can't make anything. <BR>	-- Marva Collins, U.S. teacher
2462 Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself. <BR>	-- Ma…
2463 Everything in moderation -- including moderation. <BR>	-- Harvey Steiman, U.S. editor of Wine Spect…
2464 Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1856-1900), Irish p…
2465 A feast is made for laughter/And wine maketh merry/But money answereth all things. <BR>	-- Ecclesia…
2466 A man can live well enough even in a palace. <BR>	-- Marcus Aurelius (121-180), Roman philosopher/E…
2467 A man who has a million dollars is as well off as if he were rich. <BR>	-- John Jacob Astor II
2468 A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. <BR>	-- Yogi Berra, U.S. baseball player
2469 Money and women are the most sought after and the least known of any two things we have. <BR>	-- Wi…
2470 …th nothing -- and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even. <BR>	-- Will Rogers
2471 Get what you can and keep what you have. That's the way to get rich. <BR>	-- Scots proverb
2472 God help the poor, for the rich can help themselves. <BR>	-- Scots proverb
2473 I finally know what distinguishes man from the other beasts: financial worries. <BR>	-- Jules Renar…
2474 I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something. <BR>	-- Jackie Mason (1…
2475 I just need enough to tide me over until I need more. <BR>	-- Bill Hoest, (1926-1988), U.S. cartoon…
2476 I think every young man should have a hobby. Learning to handle money is the best hobby. <BR>	-- Ja…
2477 If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars. <BR>	-- J. Paul Getty (1892-1976), U…
2478 If you have no money, be polite. <BR>	-- Danish proverb
2479 If you'd know the value of money, go and borrow some. <BR>	-- Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790), Poor R…
2480 If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys. <BR>	-- Sir James Goldsmith, (-1997), corporate raider
2481 It isn't necessary to be rich and famous to be happy. It's only necessary to be rich. <BR>	-- Alan …
2482 It's not a sin to be rich -- it's a miracle. <BR>	-- W. F. Dettle
2483 Make money, money, honestly if you can; if not, by any means at all, make money. <BR>	-- Quintus Ho…
2484 Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. <BR>	-- Woody Allen (1935--), U.S. com…
2485 Money often costs too much. <BR>	-- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1883), U.S. essayist
2486 … it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. <BR>	-- Bill Vaughan (19…
2487 …at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund. <BR>	-- F. J. Raymond
2488 Put not your trust in money, but put your money in trust. <BR>	-- Oliver Wendell Holmes
2489 Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be. <BR>	-- R…
2490 That money talks/I'll not deny,/I heard it once;/It said, "Goodbye."  <BR>	-- Richard Armour (1906-…
2491 The lack of money is the root of all evil. <BR>	-- Mark Twain
2492 The most popular labor saving device is still money. <BR>	-- Phyllis George, U.S. actress/sportscas…
2493 The rich are different from you and me because they have more credit. <BR>	-- John Leonard, U.S. jo…
2494 …sy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one. <BR>	-- Jack Yelton
2495 There is no economy in going to bed early to save candles if the results be twins. <BR>	-- Chinese …
2496 There was a time when a fool and his money were soon parted, but now it happens to everybody. <BR>	…
2497 Try to save money. Someday it may be valuable again. <BR>	--Anonymous
2498 Wealth maketh many friends. <BR>	-- Bible
2499 We at Chrysler borrow money the old-fasioned way. We pay it back. <BR>	-- Lee Iacocca (1924--), U.S…
2500 When a fellow says, 'It ain't the money but the principle of the thing,' it's the money. <BR>	-- Fr…
2501 When I was young I used to think that wealth and power would bring me happiness. I was right. <BR>	…
2502 …money is the most important thing in life. When you are old, you know it. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (185…
2503  A mother who is really a mother is never free. <BR>	-- Honore de Balzac (1799-1850)
2504 Behind every successful man is surprised mother-in-law. <BR>	-- Hubert Humphrey (1911-1978), U.S. V…
2505 Do not join encounter groups. If you enjoy being made to feel inadequate, call your mother. <BR>	--…
2506 However much you dislike your mother-in-law, you must not set fire to her. <BR>	-- Ernest Wilde, re…
2507 I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother. <BR>	-- W.C. Fields (1880-1946), U.S.…
2508 If evolution really works, how come mothers still have only two hands?  <BR>	-- Ed Dussault, Reader…
2509 …st policy, and money isn't everything. She was wrong about other things, too. <BR>	-- Gerald Barzan
2510 …roning. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. <BR>	-- Erma Bombeck (19…
2511 Nobody can misunderstand a boy like his own mother. <BR>	-- Norman Douglas (1868-1952), British wri…
2512 The best thing that could happen to motherhood already has. Fewer women are going into it. <BR>	-- …
2513 The phrase "working mother" is redundant. <BR>	-- Jane Sellman, U.S. writer
2514 Brass bands are all very well in their place -- outdoors and several miles away. <BR>	-- Sir Thomas…
2515 … sin that carries its own punishment with it, and that a very severe one. <BR>	-- Hannah More (174…
2516 How wonderful opera would be if there were no singers. <BR>	-- Giacacchino Rossini (1792-1868), Ita…
2517 …age an opera is sung in so long as it is the language I don't understand. <BR>	-- Edward Appleton …
2518 I hate music, especially when it's played. <BR>	-- Jimmy Durante (1893-1980), U.S. musician/comedian
2519 …utside a window and trying to stick to the panes of glass with its claws. <BR>	-- Charles Baudelai…
2520 I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else. <BR>	-- Lily Tomlin…
2521 …nd then doesn't have to go to an osteopath, then there's something wrong. <BR>	-- Simon Rattle 195…
2522 If you feel like singing along -- don't. <BR>	-- James Taylor, American singer
2523 Jazz is not dead, it just smells funny. <BR>	-- Frank Zappa (1941-1993), U.S. musician
2524 Music helps not the toothache. <BR>	-- George Herbert (1593-1633), English poet, in "Jarula Pruchen…
2525 Music is the brandy of the damned. <BR>	-- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950), Irish author
2526 No good opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible. <BR>	-- …
2527 Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding, he sings. <BR>	-- Ed Gardner
2528 The English may not like music, but they absolutely love the noise it makes. <BR>	-- Sir Thomas Bee…
2529 The public doesn't want new music; the main thing it demands of a composer is that he be dead. <BR>…
2530 The sound of a harpsichord -- two skeletons copulating on a tin roof in a thunderstorm. <BR>	-- Sir…
2531 Wagner's music is better than it sounds. <BR>	-- Bill Nye (1850-1896), U.S. humorist
2532 As watchful as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. <BR>	-- Patrick Cusack
2533 Liberty once lost is lost forever. <BR>	-- John Adams
2535 It's pretty safe to assume the contemporary BMWs will depreciate like school milk. <BR>	-- Patrick …
2536 …ppens' -- but Allah has a lot of explaining to do South of that meridian. <BR>	-- Patrick Cusack, …
2537 …e unconciously translates what he hears into something he can understand. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2538 All movements go too far. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)
2539 Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric. <BR>	-- …
2540 Everything is vague to a degree you do not realize till you have tried to make it precise. <BR>	-- …
2541 …uldn't wish people dogmatically to believe any philosophy, not even mine. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2542 I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)
2543 …dance to his instincts, he will accept it even on the slightest evidence. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2544 …desired the unhappiness of others, we could have paradise in a few years. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2545 …en to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2546 …wicked prosper, and one hardly knows which of those is the more annoying. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2547 … All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2548 …an who behaves badly, just as it is to be angry with a car that won't go. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2549 Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russe…
2550 … but supreme beauty -- a beauty cold and austere, like that of sculpture. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2551 …t and swift and free, the light of the world, and the chief glory of man. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2552 No one gossips about other people's secret virtues. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)
2553 …to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2554 …eader, and to accept as a leader whoever is established in that position. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2555 Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell (…
2556 Science may set limits to knowledge, but should not set limits to imagination. <BR>	-- Bertrand Rus…
2557 … good you will be happy -- I mean that if you are happy you will be good. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2558 …o any thinker is stating the problem in a way that will allow a solution. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2559 …ge, art, instinctive happiness, and relations of friendship or affection. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2560 …are those about matters as to which there is no good evidence either way. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2561 …selves and find compensation in interfering with the pleasures of others. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2562 …odern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2563 The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)
2564 … are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2565 …g a book: one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2566 There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)
2567 …t be made the creed of the vast majority by adequate governmental action. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2568 …o absolutely absurd that only very learned men could possibly adopt them. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2569 …s to become a philosopher must learn not to be frightened by absurdities. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2570 To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness. <BR>	-- Bertrand R…
2571 Too little liberty brings stagnation and too much brings chaos. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 19…
2572 …flicted by Stalin or by a Deity imagined in the likeness of the believer. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2573 Not to be absolutely certain is, I think, one of the essential things in rationality. <BR>	-- Bertr…
2574 …nk, also admit that some things are much more nearly certain than others. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2575 …te skepticism would, of course, be totally barren and completely useless. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2576 Men who are unhappy, like men who sleep badly, are always proud of the fact. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russe…
2577 …ations. People wish to be liked, not be endured with patient resignation. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2578 Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness. <BR>	-- Bertr…
2579 … of civilization, and at present very few people have reached this level. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2580 … tyranny, and is likely to interfere with happiness in all kinds of ways. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2581 … occurred to him to verify this statement by examining his wives' mouths. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2582 To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead. <BR>	-- Bertran…
2583 … mankind, a widespread belief is more likely to be foolish than sensible. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2584 …r know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2585 …f comforting convictions, which move with him like flies on a summer day. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2586 …ach but do not practice, and another which we practice but seldom preach. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2587 … proposition when there is no ground whatsoever for supposing it is true. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2588 … practice of the Courts, it means 'anything that shocks the magistrate.'  <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2589 …ng, and to end with something so paradoxical that no one will believe it. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2590 … the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2591 …e absence of good grounds for belief, he will be satisfied with bad ones. <BR>	-- Bertrand Russell…
2592 …eautiful from minds profound -- if I can remember any of the damn things. <BR>	-- Dorothy Parker (…
2593 …tended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised. <BR>	-- Dorothy Parker (…
2594 If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. <BR>	-- Doroth…
2595 Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves. <BR>	-- Dorothy Parker …
2596 …to make the home atmosphere pleasant -- and let the air out of the tires. <BR>	-- Dorothy Parker (…
2597 They sicken of the calm that know the storm. <BR>	-- Dorothy Parker (1893 - 1967)
2598 This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force. <BR>	-- Dorot…
2599 …e: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment. <BR>	-- Dorothy Parker (…
2600 The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. <BR>	-- Dorothy Parker (1893 - 1…
2601 …single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more. <BR>	-- Dorothy Parker (…
2602 Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses. <BR>	-- Dorothy Parker (1893 - 1967)
2603 She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B. <BR>	-- Dorothy Parker (1893 - 1967), speaking of Katha…
2604 A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic. <BR>	-- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
2605 …nce into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education. <BR>	-- George Bernard S…
2606 …not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. <BR>	-- George Bernard S…
2608 Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them. <BR>	-- George …
2609 Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve. <BR>	-- George B…
2610 England and America are two countries separated by a common language. <BR>	-- George Bernard Shaw (…
2611 Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough. <BR>	-- George Bernard Sha…
2612 … an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week. <BR>	-- George Bernard S…
2613 …hat we learn from history that man can never learn anything from history. <BR>	-- George Bernard S…
2614 Hell is full of musical amateurs. <BR>	-- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
2615 …mite, but only a fiend in human form could have invented the Nobel Prize. <BR>	-- George Bernard S…
2616 I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation. <BR>	-- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
2617 If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion. <BR>	-- George Bernard S…
2618 …ed always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience. <BR>	-- George Bernard S…
2619 … in universal suffrage. As it is, the political problem remains unsolved. <BR>	-- George Bernard S…
2620 If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance. <BR>	-- George Bernard…
2621 …u desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will. <BR>	-- George Bernard S…
2622 Lack of money is the root of all evil. <BR>	-- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
2623 … when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. <BR>	-- George Bernard S…
2624 Martyrdom is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability. <BR>	-- George Bernard …
2625 …s country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it. <BR>	-- George Bernard S…
2626 Reading made Don Quixote a gentleman. Believing what he read made him mad. <BR>	-- George Bernard S…
2627 Take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say, and then say it with the utmost levity. <BR…
2628 …o the point than the fact than a drunken man is happier than a sober one. <BR>	-- George Bernard S…
2629 The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it. <BR>	--…
2630 …orld to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man. <BR>	-- George Bernard S…
2631 When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. <BR>	-- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - …
2632 …ur life and your reward will be that you will eat, but you will not live. <BR>	-- George Bernard S…
2633 Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. <BR>	-- George Bernard Shaw (1856…
2634 You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, "Why not?"  <BR>…
2635 There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it. <BR…
2636 A lifetime of happiness!  No man alive could bear it: it would be hell on earth. <BR>	-- George Ber…
2637 The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is. <BR>	-- George Bernard Shaw (1856 …
2638 You'll never have a quiet world till you knock the patriotism out of the human race. <BR>	-- George…
2639 …for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them. <BR>	-- George Bernard S…
2640 There are no secrets better kept than the secrets that everybody guesses. <BR>	-- George Bernard Sh…
2641 …ind that the woman is driving at one thing and you're driving at another. <BR>	-- George Bernard S…
2642 One man that has a mind and knows it can always beat ten men who haven't and don't. <BR>	-- George …
2643 …te them, but to be indifferent to them: that's the essense of inhumanity. <BR>	-- George Bernard S…
2644 …in England, because as a nation we don't dress well and we've no manners. <BR>	-- George Bernard S…
2645 …man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it."  <BR>	-- George Bernard S…
2646 All great truths begin as blasphemies. <BR>	-- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
2647 Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn. <BR>	-- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
2648 When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty. <BR>…
2649 He who has never hoped can never despair. <BR>	-- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
2650 …nsibly about? They are more true: they are the only things that are true. <BR>	-- George Bernard S…
2651 …ppiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it. <BR>	-- George Bernard S…
2652 …o test of fitness for it is ever imposed in the interest of the children. <BR>	-- George Bernard S…
2653 A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. <BR>	-- George B…
2654 My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke in the world. <BR>	-- George Bernard…
2655 …at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning. <BR>	-- George Bernard S…
2656 I am a Millionaire. That is my religion. <BR>	-- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
2657 He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career. <BR…
2658 Beware of the man whose God is in the skies. <BR>	-- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
2659 Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few. <BR>	-- …
2660 Every man over forty is a scoundrel. <BR>	-- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
2661 He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches. <BR>	-- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
2662 Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it. <BR>	-- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 19…
2663 Take care to get what you like or you will be forced to like what you get. <BR>	-- George Bernard S…
2664 The golden rule is that there are no golden rules. <BR>	-- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
2665 …self nothing: age, which forgives itself everything, is forgiven nothing. <BR>	-- George Bernard S…
2666 An Englishman thinks he is moral when he is only uncomfortable. <BR>	-- George Bernard Shaw (1856 -…
2667 Hell is full of musical amateurs: music is the brandy of the damned. <BR>	-- George Bernard Shaw (1…
2668 …you would that they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same. <BR>	-- George Bernard S…
2669 …es complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. <BR>	-- George Bernard S…
2670 A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell. <BR>	-- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
2671 There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it. <BR>	-- George Bernard Shaw …
2672 … open his mouth without making some other Englishman hate or despise him. <BR>	-- George Bernard S…
2673 The English have no respect for their language, and will not teach their children to speak it. <BR>…
2674 …ty is to find them to do. Never lose a chance: it doesn't come every day. <BR>	-- George Bernard S…
2675 I never resist temptation because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me. <BR…
2676 All professions are conspiracies against the laity. <BR>	-- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
2677 …love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me. <BR>	-- George Bernard S…
2678 A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (…
2679 A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (188…
2680 …lter: its essence lies in the personalities of the people who live in it. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1…
2681 A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
2682 A poet more than thirty years old is simply an overgrown child. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
2683 All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it. <BR>	…
2684 …s forced on them, they tackle it by denouncing someone or something else. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1…
2685 … a State legislature in session, is informing, stimulating and ennobling. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1…
2686 …ells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1…
2687 Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1880 - …
2688 …he common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1…
2689 Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
2690 Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable. <BR>	-- H.…
2691 …ns have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1…
2692 …us feel safe... Marriage is a scheme to accomplish exactly that same end. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1…
2693 … has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1…
2694 …rnment is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1…
2695 …detest the sort of people who go to lectures and don't want to meet them. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1…
2696 …be, like patriotism, a favorite device of persons with something to sell. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1…
2697 It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man. <BR>	-- H. L. Menc…
2698 …ling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1…
2699 It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf. <BR>	-- H. L. Menc…
2700 …, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1…
2701 …ematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1…
2702 It is the dull man who is always sure, and the sure man who is always dull. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (…
2703 Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
2704 …opeless and intolerable world by creating a more lovely one of their own. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1…
2705 … unhappy. It is an art like any other. Its virtuosi are called altruists. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1…
2706 Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1880 - …
2707 Never let your inferiors do you a favor - it will be extremely costly. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1880 …
2708 Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (188…
2709 … it, and I should add that he also usually proves that he is one himself. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1…
2710 Platitude: an idea (a) that is admitted to be true by everyone, and (b) that is not true. <BR>	-- H…
2711 Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1880 - …
2712 …st always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1…
2713 …ore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1…
2714 … lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1…
2715 …ss of government; they have only a talent for getting and holding office. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1…
2716 …ionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1…
2717 The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom. <BR>	-- H. L. Me…
2718 … if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1…
2719 …ppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1…
2720 … menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1…
2721 … is usually simply another error, and maybe one worse than the first one. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1…
2722 …e. But how much nobler it would be if men died for ideas that were true!  <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1…
2723 … other party is unfit to rule - and both commonly succeed, and are right. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1…
2724 …American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1…
2725 We are here and it is now. Further than that all human knowledge is moonshine. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencke…
2726 … a discreditable act, even when it has worked and he has not been caught. <BR>	-- H. L. Mencken (1…
2727 Against logic there is no armor like ignorance. <BR>	-- Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988)
2728 … where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there. <BR>	-- Laurence J. Pete…
2729 … know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today. <BR>	-- Laurence J. Pete…
2730 An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it. <BR>	…
2731 Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status. <BR>	-- Lau…
2732 Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame. <BR>	…
2733 Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices. <BR>	-- Laurence J. Peter …
2734 Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent. <BR>	-- Laurence J. …
2735 Every man serves a useful purpose: A miser, for example, makes a wonderful ancestor. <BR>	-- Lauren…
2736 If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?  <BR…
2737 If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else. <BR>	-- Laurence J.…
2738 In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular. <BR>	-- Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988)
2739 Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it. <BR>	--…
2740 Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. <BR>	-- Lauren…
2741 …iness depends upon the direction in which that train of thought is going. <BR>	-- Laurence J. Pete…
2742 Speak when you are angry -- and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret. <BR>	-- Laurence …
2743 The incompetent with nothing to do can still make a mess of it. <BR>	-- Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1…
2744 The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance. <BR>	-- Lau…
2745 Everyone rises to their level of incompetence. <BR>	-- Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988)
2746 Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to believe. <BR>	-- Laurence J. Peter (1919 …
2747 Competence, like truth, beauty and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder. <BR>	-- Laurence …
2748 A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal. <BR>	-- Oscar …
2749 A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
2750 Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
2751 America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up. <BR>	-- Oscar …
2752 …ry that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (185…
2753 Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854 -…
2754 Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854…
2755 … though perhaps its chief use is to illustrate quotations from the poets. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (185…
2756 Biography lends to death a new terror. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
2757 Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
2758 Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months. <BR>	-- Osc…
2759 I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones. <BR>	-- Oscar…
2760 I am not young enough to know everything. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
2761 I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 19…
2762 … the morning, and took out a comma. In the afternoon I put it back again. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (185…
2763 Illusion is the first of all pleasures. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
2764 It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1…
2765 Morality, like art, means drawing a line someplace. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
2766 …day that passes is the anniversary of some perfectly uninteresting event. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (185…
2767 …least it always gets on one's nerves -- which is the same thing nowadays. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (185…
2768 …owadays, except death, and live down everything except a good reputation. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (185…
2769 One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
2770 …as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (185…
2771 Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
2772 The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
2773 To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity. <BR>…
2774 Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
2775 Why was I born with such contemporaries?  <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
2776 …fe, but one should never remember its details. Details are always vulgar. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (185…
2777 When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
2778 Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
2779 …meone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (185…
2780 Work is the curse of the drinking classes. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
2781 One's real life is often the life that one does not lead. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
2782 I can resist anything but temptation. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
2783 It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious. <BR>	-- Osc…
2784 Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
2785 Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
2786 What is a cynic?  A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. <BR>	-- Oscar W…
2787 …To realize one's nature perfectly -- that is what each of us is here for. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (185…
2788 Only the shallow know themselves. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
2789 …rison air, it is only what is good in man, that wastes and withers there. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (185…
2790 We have really everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. <BR>	-- Osca…
2791 …sm? ... Journalism is unreadable and literature is not read. That is all. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (185…
2792 It is only an auctioneer who can equally and impartially admire all schools of art. <BR>	-- Oscar W…
2793 The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854…
2794 … when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (185…
2795 The truth is rarely pure and never simple. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
2796 …g, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (185…
2797 …birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (185…
2798 It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
2799 A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
2800 …parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (185…
2801 I adore simple pleasures. They are the last refuge of the complex. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
2802 I can believe anything, provided that it is quite incredible. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
2803 …ood intellects. A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (185…
2804 …I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (185…
2805 …it is too late that the only things one never regrets are one's mistakes. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (185…
2806 One can always be kind to people about whom one cares nothing. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
2807 …lead us astray, and the advantage of science is that it is not emotional. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (185…
2808 The basis of optimism is sheer terror. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
2809 …r soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (185…
2810 …we would throw away if we were not afraid that others might pick them up. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (185…
2811 …blame us. It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (185…
2812 …hing in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (185…
2813 … because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (185…
2814 Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the noblest motives. <BR>	-- Oscar…
2815 …ave enough of them, they will forgive us everything, even our intellects. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (185…
2816 There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written or badly written. <BR>…
2817 …but it requires a very fine nature to sympathise with a friend's success. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (185…
2818 I suppose that I shall have to die beyond my means. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
2819 Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born. <BR>	-- Ronald Reagan (1911 - …
2820 …n and women. It is a weapon our adversaries in today's world do not have. <BR>	-- Ronald Reagan (1…
2821 All great change in America begins at the dinner table. <BR>	-- Ronald Reagan (1911 - 2004), 40th p…
2822 Coersion, after all, merely captures man. Freedom captivates him. <BR>	-- Ronald Reagan (1911 - 200…
2823 Don't be afraid to see what you see. <BR>	-- Ronald Reagan (1911 - 2004), 40th president of USA
2824 … are responsible for almost all the economic growth in the United States. <BR>	-- Ronald Reagan (1…
2825 Facts are stupid things. <BR>	-- Ronald Reagan (1911 - 2004), 40th president of USA
2826 … children what it was once like in the United States where men were free. <BR>	-- Ronald Reagan (1…
2827 …you tell an anti-Communist?  It's someone who understands Marx and Lenin. <BR>	-- Ronald Reagan (1…
2828 …ve us the means of rendering these nuclear weapons impotent and obsolete. <BR>	-- Ronald Reagan (1…
2829 …any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. <BR>	-- Ronald Reagan (1…
2830 …eventually triumph. And there's purpose and worth to each and every life. <BR>	-- Ronald Reagan (1…
2831 People don't start wars, governments do. <BR>	-- Ronald Reagan (1911 - 2004), 40th president of USA
2832 …e are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book. <BR>	-- Ronald Reagan (1…
2833 …have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. <BR>	-- Ronald Reagan (1…
2834 The best minds are not in government. If any were, business would hire them away. <BR>	-- Ronald Re…
2835 …t. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it. <BR>	-- Ronald Reagan (1…
2836 …he English language are, 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'  <BR>	-- Ronald Reagan (1…
2837 …we hold, the beliefs we cherish and the ideals to which we are dedicated. <BR>	-- Ronald Reagan (1…
2838 …cause there are no limits of human intelligence, imagination, and wonder. <BR>	-- Ronald Reagan (1…
2839 … only by his works.'  And ever since he told me that, I stopped worrying. <BR>	-- Ronald Reagan (1…
2840 … feeding the crocodile, hoping he will eat you last--but eat you he will. <BR>	-- Ronald Reagan (1…
2841 … of us we justified our brief moment here. We did all that could be done. <BR>	-- Ronald Reagan (1…
2842 History teaches that wars begin when governments believe the price of aggression is cheap. <BR>	-- …
2843 You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans. <BR>	-- Ronald Reaga…
2844 …slation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes. <BR>	-- Ronald Reagan (1…
2845 I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine. <BR>	-- Rita Rudn…
2846 …ntil I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso. <BR>	-- Rita Rudner, U.S…
2847 Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before. <BR>	-- Rita Rud…
2848 …ge, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head. <BR>	-- Rita Rudner, U.S…
2849 My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping. <BR>	-- Rita Rudner, U.S. comed…
2850 Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them. <BR>	-- Rita Ru…
2851 …so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be. <BR>	-- Rita Rudner, U.S…
2852 …self, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'  <BR>	-- Rita Rudner, U.S…
2853 Every generation needs a new revolution. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826), third US President
2854 …tyrant's will, and always so when it violates the right of an individual. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson…
2855 …ower, and teach us that the less we use our power the greater it will be. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson…
2856 I find as I grow older that I love those most whom I loved first. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson (1743-18…
2857 …ill rather say more necessary because health is worth more than learning. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson…
2858 A single zealot may commence prosecutor, and better men be his victims. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson (1…
2859 Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826), third US …
2860 …r another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson…
2861 …erance or admit a right of inquiry into the religious opinions of others. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson…
2862 … must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson…
2863 …people. They, and not the rich, are our dependence for continued freedom. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson…
2864 …s, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson…
2865 I am of a sect by myself, as far as I know. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826), third US President
2866 Nobody can acquire honor by doing what is wrong. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826), third US Pre…
2867 I have seen enough of one war never to wish to see another. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826), t…
2868 All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent. <BR>	-- Tho…
2869 …rks of liberty, and can never be restrained but by a despotic government. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson…
2870 In every country and every age, the priest had been hostile to Liberty. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson (1…
2871 …ssions of body and mind will vanish like evil spirits at the dawn of day. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson…
2872 …being of terrific character -- cruel, vindictive, capricious, and unjust. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson…
2873 Banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826…
2874 Determine never to be idle... It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing. <BR>	-- …
2875 Do not bite at the bait of pleasure till you know there is no hook beneath it. <BR>	-- Thomas Jeffe…
2876 …he case with the Greeks and Romans, and must be that of every free state. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson…
2877 I cannot live without books. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826), third US President
2878 …r, nor read one a month, and I feel myself infinitely the happier for it. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson…
2879 I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it. <BR>	-- Thomas Je…
2880 In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock. <BR>	-- Tho…
2881 …an who qualifies himself well for his calling, never fails of employment. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson…
2882 Never spend your money before you have it. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826), third US President
2883 Never trouble another for what you can do for yourself. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826), third…
2884 …tiful to society the religion which has regulated it cannot be a bad one. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson…
2885 … must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson…
2886 The advertisement is the most truthful part of a newspaper. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826), t…
2887 … at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson…
2888 …so valuable on certain occasions, that I wish it always to be kept alive. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson…
2889 Walking is the best possible exercise. Habituate yourself to walk very far. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferso…
2890 …h, without boasting of it; we respect that of others, without fearing it. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson…
2891 …ng my public service, and of retiring with hands clean as they are empty. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson…
2892 No government ought to be without censors & where the press is free, no one ever will. <BR>	-- Thom…
2893 …hether it was fired from within or without, we must try to extinguish it. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson…
2894 An honest man can feel no pleasure in the exercise of power over his fellow citizens. <BR>	-- Thoma…
2895 Advertisements... contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson …
2896 …sements, for they contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson…
2897 …ce, and deem them like the ark of the covenant, too sacred to be touched. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson…
2898 …e' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. <BR>	-- Woody Allen (193…
2899 Eighty percent of success is showing up. <BR>	-- Woody Allen (1935 - )
2900 Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it. <BR>	-- Woody Allen (1935 - )
2901 His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy. <BR>	-…
2902 …ast week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?  <BR>	-- Woody Allen (193…
2903 How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?  <BR>	-- Woody…
2904 I am at two with nature. <BR>	-- Woody Allen (1935 - )
2905 I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland. <BR>	-- Woody Allen…
2906 I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying. <BR>…
2907 I tended to place my wife under a pedestal. <BR>	-- Woody Allen (1935 - )
2908 I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. <BR>	…
2909 …e metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me. <BR>	-- Woody Allen (193…
2910 …ow' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown. <BR>	-- Woody Allen (193…
2911 …worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. <BR>	-- Woody Allen (193…
2912 … some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank. <BR>	-- Woody Allen (193…
2913 …rticularly for people who can never remember where they have left things. <BR>	-- Woody Allen (193…
2914 It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune. <BR>	-- Woody Allen …
2915 …ed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. <BR>	-- Woody Allen (193…
2916 … better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more. <BR>	-- Woody Allen (193…
2917 … to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly. <BR>	-- Woody Allen (193…
2918 Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all. <BR>	-- W…
2919 My one regret in life is that I am not someone else. <BR>	-- Woody Allen (1935 - )
2920 Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends. <BR>	-- Woody Allen (1935 - )
2921 …r forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies. <BR>	-- Woody Allen (193…
2922 Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness. <BR>	-- Woody Allen (1935 - )
2923 …e man. Under 5'7", it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone. <BR>	-- Woody Allen (193…
2924 …e than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?  <BR>	-- Woody Allen (193…
2925 …e kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage. <BR>	-- Woody Allen (193…
2926 To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition. <BR>	-- Woody Allen (1935 - )
2927 …n and nothing exists?  In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. <BR>	-- Woody Allen (193…
2928 When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. <BR>	-- Woody Allen …
2929 Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?  <BR>	-- Woody Allen (1935 - )
2930 …if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred. <BR>	-- Woody Allen (193…
2931 …am?  Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?  <BR>	-- Woody Allen (193…
2932 The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. <BR>	-- Woody Alle…
2933 It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens. <BR>	-- Woody Allen…
2934 A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Church…
2935 A joke is a very serious thing. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)
2936 …be expressed in single words: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Chur…
2937 Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Churchill (1…
2938 An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile -- hoping it will eat him last. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Church…
2939 Broadly speaking, the short words are the best, and the old words best of all. <BR>	-- Sir Winston …
2940 …s, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Chur…
2941 >From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put. <BR>	…
2942 He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Churchill (187…
2943 History will be kind to me for I intend to write it. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)
2944 …joice with the brilliant ones and am genuinely sorry for the poor browns. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Chur…
2945 …tician is to be judged by the animosities he excites among his opponents. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Chur…
2946 … the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Chur…
2947 …o far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Chur…
2948 …o time, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Chur…
2949 Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room. <BR>	-- Sir Winston C…
2950 …aster of policy but the slave of unforeseeable and uncontrollable events. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Chur…
2951 …et it promptly and without flinching, you will reduce the danger by half. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Chur…
2952 Personally I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught. <BR>	-- Sir Winst…
2953 Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm. <BR>	-- Sir Wi…
2954 The price of greatness is responsibility. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)
2955 …dicted leads the writer to strip himself of almost all sense and meaning. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Chur…
2956 …ies going around the world, and the worst of it is half of them are true. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Chur…
2957 We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Churchill (187…
2958 …e government of my own country. I make up for lost time when I come home. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Chur…
2959 Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash. <BR>	-- Sir Wins…
2960 …shall not weaken or tire... Give us the tools and we will finish the job. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Chur…
2961 …le who like to be told how bad things are, who like to be told the worst. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Chur…
2962 …Government: 'I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, and sweat."  <BR>	-- Sir Winston Chur…
2963 …ment except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Chur…
2964 …lute, adamant for drift, solid for fluidity, all-powerful to be impotent. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Chur…
2965 It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Churchill…
2966 …y Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Chur…
2967 …oted pupils for his final counsel. He replied, 'Verify your quotations.'  <BR>	-- Sir Winston Chur…
2968 …nigma: but perhaps there is a key. That key is Russian national interest. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Chur…
2969 …exertion will wear us down. Give us the tools and we will finish the job. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Chur…
2970 …bout what the war should be called. I said at once 'The Unnecessary War'. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Chur…
2971 The empires of the future are the empires of the mind. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)
2972 For myself I am an optimist -- it does not seem to be much use being anything else. <BR>	-- Sir Win…
2973 …ieste in the Adriatic an iron curtain has descended across the Continent. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Chur…
2974 …n the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Chur…
2975 We shall show mercy, but we shall not ask for it. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)
2976 …r hour of peril; but the new view must come, the world must roll forward. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Chur…
2977 … to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy. <BR>	-- Sir Winston Chur…
2978 An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out. <BR>	-- Will Rogers (1879 …
2979 An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh. <BR…
2980 …Senate; now what's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House?  <BR>	-- Will Rogers (187…
2981 Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. <BR>	-- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)
2982 Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock. <BR>	-- Will Rogers (1879 -…
2983 …d hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it. <BR>	-- Will Rogers (187…
2984 …a child who knows as much when it is a child as it does when it grows up. <BR>	-- Will Rogers (187…
2985 …. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago. <BR>	-- Will Rogers (187…
2986 Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip. <BR>	-- Wi…
2987 Nothing you can't spell will ever work. <BR>	-- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)
2988 …e world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does. <BR>	-- Will Rogers (187…
2989 Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators. <BR>	-- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)
2990 Politics is applesauce. <BR>	-- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)
2991 Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week. <BR>	-- Will Rogers (1879 - …
2992 …rian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter-he's got to just know. <BR>	-- Will Rogers (187…
2993 The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself. <BR>	-- Will Roge…
2994 The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them. <BR>	-- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)
2995 There ought to be one day-- just one-- when there is open season on senators. <BR>	-- Will Rogers (…
2996 There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. <BR>	-- Wi…
2997 … same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. <BR>	-- Will Rogers (187…
2998 We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can. <BR>	-- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)
2999 We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by. <BR>	-- Will…
3000 Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth. <BR>	-- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)
3001 There is only one thing that can kill the Movies, and that is education. <BR>	-- Will Rogers (1879 …
3002 … party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best. <BR>	-- Will Rogers (187…
3003 The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. <BR>	-- Will Rogers (1…
3004 Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else. <BR>	-- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)
3005 You know everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects. <BR>	-- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)
3006 …something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. <BR>	-- Will Rogers (187…
3007 …tion don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way. <BR>	-- Will Rogers (187…
3008 Well, all I know is what I read in the papers. <BR>	-- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)
3009 Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is. <BR>	-- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)
3010 …teresting and human fellow, for I never yet met a man that I didn't like. <BR>	-- Will Rogers (187…
3011 I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. <BR>	-- Will Rogers (1879 - 1…
3012 See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails?  <BR>	-- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)
3013 Communism is like prohibition, it's a good idea but it won't work. <BR>	-- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)
3014 At a dinner party one should eat wisely but not too well, and talk well but not too wisely. <BR>	--…
3015 …g. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit. <BR>	-- W. Somerset Maug…
3016 It was such a lovely day I thought it a pity to get up. <BR>	-- W. Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965)
3017 …fe; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it. <BR>	-- W. Somerset Maug…
3018 People ask for criticism, but they only want praise. <BR>	-- W. Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965)
3019 She had a pretty gift for quotation, which is a serviceable substitute for wit. <BR>	-- W. Somerset…
3020 There are three rules for writing the novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are. <BR>	-- W. …
3021 Tradition is a guide and not a jailer. <BR>	-- W. Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965)
3022 We do not write because we want to; we write because we have to. <BR>	-- W. Somerset Maugham (1874 …
3023 When you have loved as she has loved, you grow old beautifully. <BR>	-- W. Somerset Maugham (1874 -…
3024 Like all weak men he laid an exaggerated stress on not changing one's mind. <BR>	-- W. Somerset Mau…
3025 …hey were supplied with food and women, to escape the tediousness of life. <BR>	-- W. Somerset Maug…
3026 … it, ay, worth it a hundred times I say when I look round at my children. <BR>	-- W. Somerset Maug…
3027 Follow your inclinations with due regard to the policeman round the corner. <BR>	-- W. Somerset Mau…
3028 …emptuously of money: he wondered if they had ever tried to do without it. <BR>	-- W. Somerset Maug…
3029 …ff one's own bat than by doing the right thing on somebody's else advice. <BR>	-- W. Somerset Maug…
3030 …: I accept. I am the measure of all things. I am the centre of the world. <BR>	-- W. Somerset Maug…
3031 …ch time they come in contact with the real, they are bruised and wounded. <BR>	-- W. Somerset Maug…
3032 It is cruel to discover one's mediocrity only when it is too late. <BR>	-- W. Somerset Maugham (187…
3033 …one's dignity, to work unhampered, to be generous, frank and independent. <BR>	-- W. Somerset Maug…
3034 …ings should appeal to your reason as well as your sense of the aesthetic. <BR>	-- W. Somerset Maug…
3035 Life wouldn't be worth living if I worried over the future as well as the present. <BR>	-- W. Somer…
3036 Men seek but one thing in life -- their pleasure. <BR>	-- W. Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965)
3037 Money is like a sixth sense without which you cannot make a complete use of the other five. <BR>	--…
3038 The important thing was to love rather than to be loved. <BR>	-- W. Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965)
3039 …ust and upon the unjust, and for nothing was there a why and a wherefore. <BR>	-- W. Somerset Maug…
3040 …ut a little while before they had spoken and moved and eaten and laughed. <BR>	-- W. Somerset Maug…
3041 There's always one who loves and one who lets himself be loved. <BR>	-- W. Somerset Maugham (1874 -…
3042 …aps only a phrase, which has a meaning for me, and it becomes part of me. <BR>	-- W. Somerset Maug…
3043 When things are at their worst I find something always happens. <BR>	-- W. Somerset Maugham (1874 -…
3044 …but she can never forgive him for the sacrifices he makes on her account. <BR>	-- W. Somerset Maug…
3045 Life isn't long enough for love and art. <BR>	-- W. Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965)
3046 …ave assumed that in due course they actually become the person they seem. <BR>	-- W. Somerset Maug…
3047 God, give me chastity and continence, but not just now. <BR>	-- St. Augustine (354 - 430 A.D.)
3049 A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on. <BR>	-- Fred Allen (1894-1956), U.…
3050 … pigs than by sharks, which shows you how good we are at evaluating risk. <BR>	-- Bruce Schneier, …
3051 The story of modern America begins With the discovery of the white man by The Indians. <BR>	-- Mars…
3052 Only puny secrets need protection. Big discoveries are protected by public incredulity. <BR>	-- Mar…
3053 Whereas convictions depend on speed-ups, justice requires delay. <BR>	-- Marshall McLuhan, (1911-19…
3054 …m be engaged in the most frivolous possible activities like making money. <BR>	-- Marshall McLuhan…
3055 With telephone and TV it is not so much the message as the sender that is sent. <BR>	-- Marshall Mc…
3056 Money is the poor mans credit card. <BR>	-- Marshall McLuhan, (1911-1980), Canadian media analyst &…
3057 We look at the present through a rear-view mirror. We march backwards into the future. <BR>	-- Mars…
3058 … railway conductors, just as NASA is managed by men with Newtonian goals. <BR>	-- Marshall McLuhan…
3059 Invention is the mother of necessities. <BR>	-- Marshall McLuhan, (1911-1980), Canadian media analy…
3060 You mean my whole fallacys wrong?  <BR>	-- Marshall McLuhan, (1911-1980), Canadian media analyst & …
3061 Mud sometimes gives the illusion of depth. <BR>	-- Marshall McLuhan, (1911-1980), Canadian media an…
3062 …carapace, the protective and aggressive shell, of urban and suburban man. <BR>	-- Marshall McLuhan…
3063 …e the solutions of past problems and so difficult to solve current ones?  <BR>	-- Marshall McLuhan…
3064 The trouble with a cheap, specialized education is that you never stop paying for it. <BR>	-- Marsh…
3065 People dont actually read newspapers. They step into them every morning like a hot bath. <BR>	-- Ma…
3066 The road is our major architectural form. <BR>	-- Marshall McLuhan, (1911-1980), Canadian media ana…
3067 Today each of us lives several hundred years in a decade. <BR>	-- Marshall McLuhan, (1911-1980), Ca…
3068 Today the business of business is becoming the constant invention of new business. <BR>	-- Marshall…
3069 The price of eternal vigilance is indifference. <BR>	-- Marshall McLuhan, (1911-1980), Canadian med…
3070 News, far more than art, is artifact. <BR>	-- Marshall McLuhan, (1911-1980), Canadian media analyst…
3071 When you are on the phone or on the air, you have no body. <BR>	-- Marshall McLuhan, (1911-1980), C…
3072 Tomorrow is our permanent address. <BR>	-- Marshall McLuhan, (1911-1980), Canadian media analyst & …
3073 All advertising advertises advertising. <BR>	-- Marshall McLuhan, (1911-1980), Canadian media analy…
3074 The answers are always inside the problem, not outside. <BR>	-- Marshall McLuhan, (1911-1980), Cana…
3075 Camp is popular because it gives people a sense of reality to see a replay of their lives. <BR>	-- …
3076 This information is top security. When you have read it, destroy yourself. <BR>	-- Marshall McLuhan…
3077 The specialist is one who never makes small mistakes while moving toward the grand fallacy. <BR>	--…
3078 One of the nicest things about being big is the luxury of thinking little. <BR>	-- Marshall McLuhan…
3079 Politics offers yesterdays answers to todays questions. <BR>	-- Marshall McLuhan, (1911-1980), Cana…
3080 The missing link created far more interest than all the chains and explanations of being. <BR>	-- M…
3081 …epartment of a big firm is a sort of lab for isolating dangerous viruses. <BR>	-- Marshall McLuhan…
3082 When a thing is current, it creates currency. <BR>	-- Marshall McLuhan, (1911-1980), Canadian media…
3083 Food for the mind is like food for the body: the inputs are never the same as the outputs. <BR>	-- …
3084 …evious identities. Neighborhood gives identity. Frontiers snatch it away. <BR>	-- Marshall McLuhan…
3085 The future of the book is the blurb. <BR>	-- Marshall McLuhan, (1911-1980), Canadian media analyst …
3086 The ignorance of how to use new knowledge stockpiles exponentially. <BR>	-- Marshall McLuhan, (1911…
3087 A road is a flattened-out wheel, rolled up in the belly of an airplane. <BR>	-- Marshall McLuhan, (…
3088 At the speed of light, policies and political parties yield place to charismatic images. <BR>	-- Ma…
3089 I may be wrong, but Im never in doubt. <BR>	-- Marshall McLuhan, (1911-1980), Canadian media analys…
3090 Remember, no one, when they are on their death-bed says "I wish I'd watched a little more TV". <BR>…
3091 …ence Olivier, and when it comes to Richard Burton, I'm really in trouble. <BR>	-- Bob Hope, at the…
3092 …ke the result of a genetic experiment involving a walrus and the Goodyear Blimp. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3093 …ou do not drive it across rivers! You drive it across the Wal-Mart parking lot!  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3094 …the men's room and the women's room without having little pictures on the doors. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3095 …but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3096 …for a new place to try to get to, and they came up with a new concept: the West. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3097 …ison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth and fresher breath. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3098 As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3099 Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down. <BR>	-- D…
3100 …elf checkmated in under three minutes. I challenge any computer to do it faster. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3101 …r, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3102 …rich man today... and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3103 … nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3104 Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3105 …mber of the House and the largest member of the Senate, plus a standard musk ox. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3106 …e formal talks that could potentially produce some kind of tentative agreements. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3107 …oms, and there is no known way to kill it that does not involve nuclear weapons. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3108 …for deoxyribonucleicantidisestablishmentarianism, a complex string of syllables. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3109 Dogsled-riding is a sport that is relaxing as well as fragrant. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3110 …er of words!  Plus, you can repeat words!  And they don't even have to be true!  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3111 Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3112 'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3113 Eugene is located in western Oregon, approximately 278 billion miles from anything. <BR>	-- Dave Ba…
3114 …es on the market about two days after you actually purchase some other computer. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3115 Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3116 …mit was fifty-five miles per hour, metric equivalent: 378 kilograms per hectare. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3117 For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3118 Genes are little items that are found in every living thing except Sen. Alfonse D'Amato. <BR>	-- Da…
3119 …a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by sheep. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3120 …atory admonition; as such, it is always used as part of a herpetological phrase. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3121 …ributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3122 …ry of the American Society of Colleges and Universities, is a "type of weevil."  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3123 …ng to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent?  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3124 …am a product of the Flower Power '60s. I have actually worn bell-bottomed jeans. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3125 …rson who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3126 …nywhere; I sometimes wonder why they bother to have wheels on their motorcycles. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3127 …s should always be the same color,* Or they should at least both be fairly dark. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3128 I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War. <BR>	-- Dav…
3129 …rmed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who tried to learn snowboarding. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3130 I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don't care. <BR…
3131 …discover how much stronger the Earth's gravitational pull has become since 1990. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3132 …oblems that, in terms of complexity, make the U.S. Tax Code look like Dr. Seuss. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3133 …nounce that he would come back to life if people in all 50 states wanted him to. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3134 ….. I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3135 …d I distinctly recall believing that virtually all adults were clueless goobers. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3136 … personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3137 …le. The only lower-body garments I own that still fit me comfortably are towels. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3138 …e concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3139 …the same answer that most people would: nuclear war, global warming and Windows. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3140 If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3141 …t every last one of them would know the theme song from The Beverly Hillbillies. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3142 …suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3143 …tudent can tell you, was an act that apparently had something to do with stamps. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3144 …he Mediocrelands, the Rocky Mountains and Robert Redford were caused by erosion. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3145 …t up in your Spanish-English dictionary, turns out to mean: Eel with big abcess. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3146 …d to be, although we here in the newspaper industry would never say so in print. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3147 …usands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3148 … the competence of his mechanic. Don't be shy!  After all, you're paying for it. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3149 …our body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3150 … it tends to act as though it has one partially consumed Pez tablet for a brain. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3151 … art that is purchased by experts who are not spending their own personal money. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3152 …the uncultured, Cheez-It consuming public, I am not good at grasping modern art. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3153 … is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3154 MEGAHERTZ: This is a really, really big hertz. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3155 …d and dingy labyrinth, the message is: Just Try to Find Our Baggage Claim Area!  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3156 …se days you have to open almost every consumer item by gnawing on the packaging. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3157 …sh sticks, and McNuggets-foods that have had all of their organs safely removed. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3158 My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible. <BR>	-- Da…
3159 … Stones; he is more into bands with names like "Heave" and "Squatting Turnips."  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3160 …I have finished 2 bags of M and M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3161 …ing like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is reading my column. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3162 Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3163 …me that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3164 …e their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3165 …t he is by far the cleverest person on Earth now that Benjamin Franklin is dead. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3166 Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid. <BR…
3167 …take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3168 Skiers view snowboarders as a menace; snowboarders view skiers as Elmer Fudd. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3169 Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3170 …s very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3171 …ort hot line and be placed on hold for approximately the life-span of a caribou. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3172 … England - is actually a crude effort by the Druids to build a computing device. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3173 …to the summit of Mount Everest, would take along aquarium filters, just in case. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3174 …rt where you try to hit the little ball; only the part where you drive the cart. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3175 … commands that it needs to suddenly, with no warning whatsoever, stop operating. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3176 … possessing a shred of information, which is how I got a good job in journalism. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3177 …have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3178 …logical characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3179 …nforming you that the Internet is currently busy and you should try again later. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3180 …ts, by which I mean, "people without lives."  We don't care. We have each other. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3181 …pment in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3182 The Internet: Transforming Society and Shaping the Future Through Chat. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3183 …fices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3184 …aration, with one prankster even going so far as to actually write John Hancock. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3185 The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3186 …s the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3187 … and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3188 …nd here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitution - "to spew out paper."  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3189 …r sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3190 …ffending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3191 …hat you have the ethical standards of a slime-coated piece of industrial waste?  <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3192 The real threat to whales is whaling, which has endangered many whale species. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3193 …ng, than "A Cross Between Gerbil Food and Gravel," which is what it tastes like. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3194 …l when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3195 The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3196 …t of initials, or autonym, standing for Scholastic Attitude Treaty Organization. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3197 The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3198 …be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3199 … and "active" systems collect the sunlight that hits your neighbors' homes, too. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3200 There is a breed of fashion models who weigh no more than an abridged dictionary. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3201 … marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat content. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3202 To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3203 … a personal computer, let's take a look at the pathetic mess you call your life. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3204 …uare feet and weighed 40 tons; there was also a laptop version weighing 27 tons. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3205 …your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3206 …s sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it travels inside wires. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3207 …ed the Rolling Stones, who in those days still had many of their original teeth. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3208 …little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3209 … just about any wacky thing they tell us, especially if it involves outer space. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3210 …have to admit that we know of no better system, except possibly flipping a coin. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3211 …he IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3212 …the Paleolithic) when people kept their stomach muscles discreetly out of sight. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3213 …scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3214 …ninhibited, intimate and, yes, shocking details about our "CONFIG.SYS" settings. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3215 … was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3216 … in certain vending machines at certain major universities; and much, much more. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3217 … from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro. <BR>	-- Dave Barry
3218 A male chauvinist is a man who thinks that "harass" is two words. <BR>	-- The proprietor, Ballandea…
3219 …k on anything purporting to contain nude pictures of semi-famous females. <BR>	-- Marcus Ranum "Th…
3220 When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse. <BR>	-- The Law of Avoiding Ov…
3221 Never accept a drink from a urologist. <BR>	-- The Law of Common Sense
3222 Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose. <BR>	-- The Law of Reality
3223 When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last. <BR>	-- The Law of Self Sacrifice
3224 Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster. <BR>	-- The Law of Motivation
3225 You always find something in the last place you look. <BR>	-- Boob's Law
3226 Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself. <BR>	-- Weiler's Law
3227 Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed. <BR>	-- Law of Probable Dispersal
3228 People are always available for work in the past tense. <BR>	-- Law of Volunteer Labor
3229 In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired. <BR>…
3230 Them that has, gets. <BR>	-- Iron Law of Distribution
3231 There is always one more bug. <BR>	-- Law of Cybernetic Entomology
3232 The first myth of management is that it exists. <BR>	-- Heller's Law
3233 Variables won't; constants aren't. <BR>	-- Osborne's Law
3234 For every action there is an equal and opposite government program. <BR>	-- Main's Law
3235 …n the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed civilization. <BR>	-- Weinberg's Secon…
3236 …se will only be offered during the semester following the desired course. <BR>	-- Second Law of Cl…
3237 Class schedules are designed so that every student will waste the maximum time between classes. <BR…
3238 An expert is anyone from out of town. <BR>	-- Mars Rule
3239 The one course you must take to graduate will not be offered during your last semester. <BR>	-- Sei…
3240 Authority tends to assign jobs to those least able to do them. <BR>	-- Cornuelle's Law
3241 Possessions increase to fill the space available for their storage. <BR>	-- Ruan's Law
3242 …yed in the mail long enough for you to make a fool of yourself in person. <BR>	-- Arthurs Second L…
3243 People to whom you are attracted invariably think you remind them of someone else. <BR>	-- Arthurs …
3244 The stomach expands to accomodate the amount of junk food available. <BR>	-- Iske's Teenage Law
3245 When you do not know what you are doing, do it neatly. <BR>	-- Lab Workers Law
3246 …use plant varies inversely with its price and directly with its ugliness. <BR>	-- Green Thumb Post…
3247 … know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. <BR>	-- Ruby's Principal…
3248 Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. <BR>	-- Green's Law
3249 To err is human - to blame it on someone else is even more human. <BR>	-- Jacob's Law
3250 Virtue is its own punishment  <BR>	-- Denniston's Law
3251 …ou will reach it just in time to hear the click of the caller hanging up. <BR>	-- Bess's Telephone…
3252 The Consumer Report on the item will come out a week after you've made your purchase. <BR>	-- Beryl…
3253 If there are only two shows worth watching they will be on at the same time. <BR>	-- Law of TV Prog…
3254 …e the same destination and the other car will get the last parking space. <BR>	-- Athena's Rule of…
3255 …rrors tend to occur at the opposite end at which you begin checking for errors. <BR>	-- Grelb's Law
3256 If you explain so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will. <BR>	-- Chicholm's Law
3257 … the same destination, and the other car will get the last parking space. <BR>	-- Athena's Rule of…
3258 The label 'ALL NEW', 'COMPLETELY NEW' or 'GREAT NEW' means the price went way up. <BR>	-- Hershiser…
3259 The label NEW and/or IMPROVED means the price went up. <BR>	-- Hershiser's Second Rule
3260 Anything labelled NEW and/or IMPROVED isn't. <BR>	-- Hershiser's First Rule
3261 …ich you are sure will meet with everybody's approval, somebody won't like it. <BR>	-- Chisholms Law
3262 If you help a friend in need, he is sure to remember you - the next time he's in need. <BR>	-- Chei…
3263 … at the opposite end from the end at which you begin checking for errors. <BR>	-- Grelb's Law of E…
3264 If it's good, they discontinue it. <BR>	-- Herblock's Law
3265 … time they are ripe. If you buy them ripe, they rot before they are eaten. <BR>	-- Banana Principle
3266 The only new show worth watching will be cancelled. <BR>	-- Jones First Law of TV
3267 No books are lost by lending except those you particularly wanted to keep. <BR>	-- Attwood's Law
3268 You are never given enough time or money. <BR>	-- Lerman's Law of Technology Corollary
3269 Any technical problem can be overcome given enough time and money. <BR>	-- Lerman's Law of Technolo…
3270 Most people deserve one another. <BR>	-- Shirley's Law
3271 All breakdowns occur on the plumber's day off. <BR>	-- Yeager's Law
3272 …gy. 2. If it stinks, it's chemistry. 3. If it doesn't work, it's physics. <BR>	-- Modern Science L…
3273 People will buy anything that's one to a customer. <BR>	-- Lewis' Law
3274 …for everything that goes wrong - until the next person quits or is fired. <BR>	-- Sixth Law of the…
3275 People are always available for work in the past tense. <BR>	-- Zymurgy's Law
3276 If you like it, it fits, and you can afford it, it falls apart the first time you wash it. <BR>	-- …
3277 If you like it, and it fits, you can't afford it. <BR>	-- Hadley's Third Law of Shopping
3278 If you like it, and its in your size, it doesn't fit anyway. <BR>	-- Hadley's Second Law of Shopping
3279 If you like it, they don't have it in your size. <BR>	-- Hadley's First Law of Shopping
3280 All of your friends either missed it, lost it or threw it out. <BR>	-- Corollary of Johnson's Law
3281 …ch contained the article, story or installment you were most anxious to read. <BR>	-- Johnson's Law
3282 The first bug to hit a clean windscreen lands directly in front your eyes. <BR>	-- Drew's Law
3283 …, once you have reached the furthest point from shore, the wind will die. <BR>	-- Deal's Second La…
3284 Everything goes wrong all at once. <BR>	-- Quantum Revision of Murphy's Law
3285 The Traffic Light will turn green as soon as your vehicle comes to a complete stop. <BR>	-- McKee's…
3286 …hen you lick them will stick to other things when you don't want them to. <BR>	-- Fourth Law of th…
3287 Machines that have broken down will work perfectly when the repairman arrives. <BR>	-- Third Law of…
3288 The one drill bit you need will be the one missing from the tool chest. <BR>	-- First Law of the Wo…
3289 Any task worth doing was worth doing yesterday. <BR>	-- Grossman's Lemma
3290 The more complicated and grandiose the plan, the greater the chance of failure. <BR>	-- Knagg's Der…
3291 Left over bolts never match left over nuts. <BR>	-- Workshop Principle
3292 Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups. <BR>	-- Wethern's Law
3293 He who shouts loudest has the floor. <BR>	-- Swipple Rule of Order
3294 The one who snores will fall asleep first. <BR>	-- Bedfellow's Rule
3295 …es only once, and you watch it again, it will be a rerun of the same episode. <BR>	-- Law of Reruns
3296 If you leave the room, you're elected. <BR>	-- Matilda's Law
3297 The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish. <BR>	-- Third Rule of Fishing
3298 … of needless worry if you don't burn your bridges until you come to them. <BR>	-- Rule of Negative…
3299 The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish. <BR>	-- Porkingham's Second Law
3300 There is no such thing as a straight line. <BR>	-- The Ruler Rule
3301 Never make a decision you can get someone else to make. <BR>	-- Pfeifer's Principle
3302 You never know who's right, but you always know who's in charge. <BR>	-- Whistler's Law
3303 The client who pays the least complains the most. <BR>	-- Drew's Law
3304 Forgive and remember. <BR>	-- Brock's Motto
3305 …project fails but when all of the authorisers can claim credit if it succeeds. <BR>	-- Roger's Rule
3306 If an idea can survive a bureaucratic review and be implemented, it wasn't worth doing. <BR>	-- Mol…
3307 …Whenever your team trades away a no-name, he immediately rises to stardom. <BR>	-- Knox's Principal
3308 The length of a marriage is inversely proportional to the amount spent on the wedding. <BR>	-- Thom…
3309 …he book even though they don't know who wrote the book or even what book. <BR>	-- Fifth Law of Man…
3310 For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. <BR>	-- Harrison's Postulate
3311 …ded attention, it will occur simultaneously with a compelling distraction. <BR>	-- Hutchinson's Law
3312 If you can actually remove the part, the replacement will be on backorder. <BR>	-- Automotive Repai…
3313 If you can get to the faulty part you don't have the tool to get it off. <BR>	-- Automotive Repair …
3314 Nothing is ever so bad it can't be made worse by firing the coach. <BR>	-- Murray's Rule
3315 Whenever you cut your fingernails, you will find a need for them an hour later. <BR>	-- Witten's Law
3316 The longer you wait in line, the greater likelihood that you are standing in the wrong line. <BR>	-…
3317 You get the most of what you need the least. <BR>	-- Law of Gifts
3318 Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers. <BR>	-- Grossman's Misquote
3319 …hing else must become dirty. <BR>	-- Imbesi's Law ... but you can get everything dirty without get…
3320 … about you. They're too busy worrying over what you are thinking of them. <BR>	-- Edelstein's Advi…
3321 You can make it foolproof, but you can't make it damn foolproof. <BR>	-- Naeser's Law
3322 A crisis is when you can't say 'let's forget the whole thing'. <BR>	-- Ferguson's Precept
3323 If it was bad, it'll be back. <BR>	-- Grelb's Law
3324 The first place to look for anything is the last place you would expect to find it. <BR>	-- Law of …
3325 …ecial trip to the store to get will be the one your guest is allergic to. <BR>	-- Fourth Law of Ki…
3326 Once a dish is fouled up, anything added to to save it only makes it worse. <BR>	-- Second Law of K…
3327 You can always find what you're not looking for. <BR>	-- MaryAnn's Law
3328 If you don't care where you are, you ain't lost. <BR>	-- Rune's Rule
3329 It won't work. <BR>	-- Jenkinson's Law
3330 There are two types of people: those who divide people into two types, and those who don't. <BR>	--…
3331 To make an enemy, do someone a favour. <BR>	-- McLaughry's Codicil
3332 Its morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money. <BR>	-- Bill Jones Motto
3333 …ou lean back and relax is the one time the boss walks through the office. <BR>	-- Selective Superv…
3334 If you think the problem is bad now, just wait until we've solved it. <BR>	--Arthur Kasspe
3335 Auditors always reject any expense claim with a bottom line divisible by 5 or 10. <BR>	-- O'Brien's…
3336 The one you want is never the one on sale. <BR>	-- Bargain Basement Principle
3337 The compromise will always be more expensive than either of the suggestions it is compromising. <BR…
3338 Government expands to absorb revenue... and then some. <BR>	-- Wiker's Law
3339 A fool and your money are soon partners. <BR>	-- Mark's Law
3340 Expenditure always rises to meet income. <BR>	-- Parkinson's Law
3341 A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow. <BR>	-- Patton's Law
3342 When in doubt, mingle. When in trouble, delegate. When in charge, ponder. <BR>	-- Boren's Laws
3343 You can't tell how deep a puddle is until you step in it. <BR>	-- Miller's Law
3344 …ars to be thinking deep thoughts, they are probably thinking about lunch. <BR>	-- Rule of The Great
3345 The less you enjoy serving on committees, the more likely you are to be pressed to do so. <BR>	-- L…
3346 The cream rises to the top - so does the scum... <BR>	-- Wellington's Law of Command
3347 The length of a meeting rises with the square of the number of people present. <BR>	-- Shanahan's L…
3348 What you don't do is always more important than what you do. <BR>	-- Worker's Dilemma #2
3349 No matter how much you do, you'll never do enough. <BR>	-- Worker's Dilemma
3350 Never argue with a fool - people might not know the difference. <BR>	-- First Law of Debate
3351 Its easier to get forgiveness than ask permission. <BR>	-- Stewarts Law of Retroaction
3352 When working towards the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer. <BR>	-- Rul…
3353 The greater the funding, the longer it takes to make the mistake. <BR>	-- Young's Corollary
3354 All great discoveries are made by mistake. <BR>	-- Youngs Law
3355 If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of. <BR>	-- Maier's Law
3356 Enough research will tend to support your theory. <BR>	-- Murphy's Law of Research
3357 …hat you're certain you've finished with, you will need it again instantly. <BR>	-- Law of Annoyance
3358 …of technical writing, ignore it. The piece will make perfect sense without it. <BR>	-- Cooper's Law
3359 Experience varies directly with the equipment ruined. <BR>	-- Horner's Postulate
3360 …ruction, no overall dimension can be totalled correctly at 4.40pm Friday. <BR>	-- Law of the Lost …
3361 No matter what goes wrong, there is always somebody who knew it would. <BR>	-- Evan's Law
3362 If you mess with a thing long enough, it'll break. <BR>	-- Schmidt's Law
3363 Things get worse before they get better. Who said things would get better?  <BR>	-- Ehrman's Commen…
3364 Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it. <BR>	-- Shaw's Princi…
3365 Anything that begins well, ends badly, Anything that begins badly, ends worse. <BR>	-- Pudder's Law
3366 …ck on wood is when you realise that the world is made of plastic and aluminium. <BR>	-- Flugg's Law
3367 The secret of success is sincerity... once you can fake that, you've got it made. <BR>	-- Glyme's F…
3368 Whenever the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time. <BR>	-- Airpla…
3369 Whatever happens, look as if you intended it to happen. <BR>	-- First Rule of Acting
3370 Everyone has a scheme that will not work. <BR>	-- Howe's Law
3371 The day you leave work early to make it to class on time, the sensei will be sick. <BR>	-- Martial …
3372 After a flawless demonstration, you will trip on your way back to your seat. <BR>	-- Martial Arts L…
3373 If you have to use your training in self-defense, your attacker's father will be a lawyer. <BR>	-- …
3374 The referee will always be looking the other way when you score. <BR>	-- Martial Arts Law 2
3375 … luck alone will suddenly turn into Bruce Lee when you're up against him. <BR>	-- Martial Arts Law…
3376 Nothing ever goes away. <BR>	-- Commoner's Law of Ecology
3377 90% of everything is crud. <BR>	-- Sturgeon's Law
3378 Negative expectations yield negative results, Positive expectations yield negative results. <BR>	--…
3379 A shortcut is the longest distance between two points. <BR>	-- Issawi's Law of Progress
3380 If an experiment works, something has gone wrong. <BR>	-- Finagles First Law
3381 If everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. <BR>	-- Law of Life's Highway
3382 All trails have more uphill sections than they have level or downhill sections. <BR>	-- Backpacker'…
3383 …tected and corrected, it will be found to have been correct in the first place. <BR>	-- Scott's Law
3384 It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious. <BR>	-- Murphy's Sixth …
3385 Every solution breeds new problems. <BR>	-- Murphy's Fifth Corollary
3386 Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first. <BR>	-- Murphy's Fourth Co…
3387 …ong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. <BR>	-- Murphy's Third C…
3388 Everything takes longer than you think. <BR>	-- Murphy's Second Corollary
3389 Nothing is as easy as it looks. <BR>	-- Murphy's First Corollary
3390 If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy man - he will find an easier way to do it. <BR>	-- …
3391 …are impossible to know, but it is impossible to know which things they are. <BR>	-- Jaffe's Precept
3392 The more studying you did for the exam, the less sure you are as to which answer they want. <BR>	--…
3393 When reviewing your notes before an exam, the most important ones will be illegible. <BR>	-- First …
3394 …ay rent, pay rent. People who can most afford to pay rent, build up equity. <BR>	-- Perlsweig's Law
3395 For every vision, there is an equal and opposite revision. <BR>	-- Thal's Law
3396 It's a simple task to make things more complex, but a complex task to make them simple. <BR>	-- Mey…
3397 If you cannot convince them, confuse them. <BR>	-- Truman's Law
3398 All the good ones are taken. <BR>	-- Harris' Lament
3399 Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment. <BR>	-- Ducharme's Precept
3400 As soon as you mention something... if it's good, it goes away. <BR>	-- Unspeakable Law
3401 It works better if you plug it in. <BR>	-- Sattinger's Law
3402 The supplies necessary for yesterdays's work must be ordered no later than noon tomorrow. <BR>	-- O…
3403 It's not how much an item costs, it's how much you save that matters. <BR>	-- Paul's Law
3404 No matter how minor the task, you will inevitably end up covered with grease and motor oil. <BR>	--…
3405 When the need arises, any tool closest to you becomes a hammer. <BR>	-- Bromberg's Law of Auto Repa…
3406 …n go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way will promptly develop. <BR>	-- Murphy's Law of …
3407 If you explain so clearly that nobody can mis-understand, somebody will. <BR>	-- Chicholm's Second …
3408 Nature always sides with the hidden flaw. <BR>	-- Murphy's Seventh Corollary
3409 The first bug to hit a clean windshield always lands directly in front of the driver's eyes. <BR>	-…
3410 The only way to make up for being lost is to make record time while you are lost. <BR>	-- Rule of t…
3411 Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan them is to use a larger can. <BR>	-- Zymurgy's …
3412 An unbreakable toy is good for breaking other toys. <BR>	-- Van Roy's Law
3413 There's no time like the present to postpone what you don't want to do. <BR>	-- Hecht's Fourth Law
3414 Nothing ever gets built on time and within budget. <BR>	-- Cheop's Law
3415 …when you return to the office at night to use them for personal business. <BR>	-- Second Law of Of…
3416 …ontaneously moving from where you left them to where you can't find them. <BR>	-- Law of the Office
3417 If you like it and it fits, you can't afford it. <BR>	-- Law of Shopping
3418 Cleanliness is next to impossible. <BR>	-- O'Reilly's Law
3419 Whenever in doubt, predict that the trend will continue. <BR>	-- Merkin's Maxim
3420 The bigger they are, the harder they hit. <BR>	-- Perkin's Postulate
3421 … shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper. <BR>	-- Lewis' Law
3422 No matter which way you ride, it's uphill and against the wind. <BR>	-- First Law of Bicycling
3423  <BR>	-- First Law of Travel It always takes longer to get there than to get back.
3424 A meeting is an event at which minutes are kept and hours are lost. <BR>	-- Gourd's Axiom
3425 A conclusion is the place where you get tired of thinking. <BR>	-- Matz's Maxim
3426 …ime, and some of the people all of the time, but you can't fool your Mum. <BR>	-- Captain Penny's …
3427 Never put off until tomorrow that which you could have forgotten about entirely. <BR>	-- Wade's Adv…
3428 Teamwork is essential - it allows you to blame someone else. <BR>	-- Finagle's 8th Rule
3429 If the shoe fits - it's ugly. <BR>	-- Gold's Law
3430 The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on. <BR>	-- Jones…
3431 The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing. <BR>	-- Cole's …
3432 A child will not spill on a dirty floor. <BR>	-- Skoff's Law
3433 The mountain gets steeper as you get closer. <BR>	-- Michael's Climbing Rule
3434 …made at great expense is the first to person to be let go in any re-organisation. <BR>	-- Joe's Law
3435 The probability of anything happening is in inverse ratio to it's desirability. <BR>	-- Gumperson's…
3436 If you wait, it will go away. <BR>	-- Hellrung's Law ...having done it's damage  <BR>	-- Shavelson'…
3437 If you make Duck a l'Orange you'll be complimented on the peas. <BR>	-- Law of the Kitchen
3438 All Finagle's Laws may be bypassed by learning the simple art of doing without thinking. <BR>	-- Wi…
3439 Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value. <BR>	-- Murphy's Constant
3440 …e wrong, it would have been ultimately beneficial for them to have gone wrong. <BR>	-- The Last Law
3441 The hidden flaw never remains hidden. <BR>	-- Law of Revelation
3442 How long a minute is depends on which side of the Toilet Door you're on. <BR>	-- Ballance's Law
3443 Pure drivel tends to drive ordinary drivel off the TV screen. <BR>	-- Kitman's Law
3444 …r eye on the minute you walked in will be take by the person in front of you. <BR>	-- Cafeteria Law
3445 Switching back screws up both lines and makes everybody angry. <BR>	-- Third Queue Principle
3446 … one you just left will start to move faster than the one you are now in. <BR>	-- Second Queue Pri…
3447 The other line is always faster. <BR>	-- First Queue Principle
3448 The most interesting specimen will not be labelled. <BR>	-- Jones Law of Museums
3449 At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last. <BR>	-- Breda's Rule
3450 Thinly sliced cabbage. <BR>	-- Cole's Law
3451 If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway. <BR>	-- Lowery's Law
3452 The slowest checker is always at the express checkout lane. <BR>	-- Flugg's Rule
3453 Hindsite is an exact science. <BR>	-- Fagin's Rule
3454 If an item is advertised as under $40, you can bet it's not $9.95. <BR>	-- Christmas Shopping Axiom
3455 …you can throw it away If you throw it away, you will need it the next day. <BR>	-- Law of Ownership
3456 Most simple assembly jobs require three hands. <BR>	-- Workshop Principle
3457 If it's in stock, it didn't need replacing in the first place. <BR>	-- Campbell's Third Law of Auto…
3458 In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don't need it. <BR>	-- Collateral Corollary
3459 All things being equal, you lose. <BR>	-- Todd's First Law
3460 If you park 6 blocks away, you'll find two spaces right outside the building. <BR>	-- Lemar's Parki…
3461 Everyone lies, but it doesn't matter, as nobody listens. <BR>	-- Lieberman's Law
3462 When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal. <BR>	-- Kovac's Conundrum
3463 If you're feeling good, don't worry, you'll get over it!  <BR>	-- Boling's Postulate
3464 If you hit two keys on the typewriter, the one you don't want hits the paper. <BR>	-- Devrie's Dile…
3465 When the going gets tough, everyone leaves. <BR>	-- Lynch's Law
3466 A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead. <BR>	-- Newton's Seventh Law
3467 Sow your wild oats on Saturday night - then on Sunday pray for crop failure. <BR>	-- Farmer's Law
3468 A four hour staff meeting rarely accomplishes anything that a ten minute slap fight can't. <BR>	-- …
3469 …eing in a sled dog team. No one gets a change of scenery except the lead dog. <BR>	-- Moer's Truism
3470 …way in which a system can operate, it will usually operate the wrong way. <BR>	-- Jam Side Down Th…
3471 …of responsibility is inversely proportional to the size of one's bladder. <BR>	-- Swain's First La…
3472 …ed measurements must be discarded to obtain a correspondence with theory. <BR>	-- Compensation Cor…
3473 …er for reasons that are either entirely obscure or else completely mysterious. <BR>	-- Flaple's Law
3474 It's impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious. <BR>	-- Edsel Murphy
3475 A flat file is not a list of apartments. <BR>	-- Euclid
3476 The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance. <BR>	-- Coveyou's Claim
3477 A committee is a body with 6 or more legs and no brain. <BR>	-- Lazarus' Lecture
3478 …ss of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in. <BR>	-- Dykstra's Law
3479 Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. <BR>	-- Clarke's Third Law
3480 There is no such thing as a large whisky. <BR>	-- Rev. Mahaffy's Observation
3481 … all about you are losing theirs, then you just don't understand the problem. <BR>	-- Kyrie Liaison
3482 …rse proportion to the number of statements understood by the general public. <BR>	-- Gummidge's Law
3483 …and inversely with its importance to the completion of the work underway. <BR>	-- Spare Parts Coro…
3484 …g alternate courses of action, most people will choose the worst one possible. <BR>	-- Rerdin's Law
3485 …y for yesterday's experiment must be ordered no later than tomorrow noon. <BR>	-- Timely Order Pri…
3486 Creativity varies inversely with the number of cooks involved with the broth. <BR>	-- Fitzgibbon's …
3487 …racted from the answer you got, gives you the answer you should have got. <BR>	-- Finnegans Finagl…
3488 By definition, when you are searching the unknown, you do not know what you will find. <BR>	-- The …
3489 If you dont know where you're going, any road will get you there. <BR>	-- Daniel's Theory
3490 Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why, then do it. <BR>	-- Longs T…
3491 One million times nothing is still nothing. <BR>	-- Porteous's Proposition
3492 No experiment is ever a complete failure, it can always serve as a bad example. <BR>	-- Futility Fa…
3493 Any time things appear to be going better, you have overlooked something. <BR>	-- Chisholm's Law
3494 Experience varies directly with the amount of equipment ruined. <BR>	-- Homer's Five Thumb Postulate
3495 …ircumstances, events will combine to provide the maximum amount of inconvenience. <BR>	-- Sod's Law
3496 When all else fails, read the Instructions. <BR>	-- Allen's Axiom
3497 The spaghetti always wins. <BR>	-- Vernon's Law
3498 Quit when you're still behind. When you're in a hole, don't dig. <BR>	-- Salinger's Law
3499 Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse. <BR>	-- Finagle's Law
3500 The light at the end of the tunnel could turn out to be the headlight of an oncoming train. <BR>	--…
3501 A collision at sea can ruin your entire day. <BR>	-- Horwitz's First Law of the Admiralty
3502 The probability of an event occurring is proportional to its desirability. <BR>	-- Gusterman's Law
3503 Attila the Hun came from a broken home. <BR>	-- Andrew's Deduction
3504 Never, ever, eat prunes when you're hungry. <BR>	-- Schmidt's Law
3505 Anything that fails will fail in the manner most difficult to explain. <BR>	-- Second Corollary to …
3506 One good turn gets most of the blanket. <BR>	-- Ellenberg's Theory
3507 The leak in the roof is never in the same place as the hole. <BR>	-- Cannon's Comment
3508 …lume, humidity, and other variables, the organism will do as it darn well pleases. <BR>	-- Yale Law
3509 Don't force it; get a larger hammer. <BR>	-- Anthony's Law of Force
3510 If God had meant for us to travel tourist class, He would have made us narrower. <BR>	-- Martha's M…
3511 If the experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment. <BR>	-- Patrice's Theorem
3512 Nothing is important for the person who doesn't have to do it for themself. <BR>	-- Weiler's Law
3513 The simplest explanation of any phenomenon is usually the correct one. <BR>	-- Occam's Theory
3514 Never, ever, play leapfrog with a Unicorn!  <BR>	-- Feldstein's Law
3515 Whoever has the Gold makes the Rules. <BR>	-- The Golden Rule
3516 Things get worse under pressure. <BR>	-- Murphys Law of Thermodynamics
3517 If something can go wrong, it will. <BR>	-- Murphys Law
3518 For anything that requires reasonable security, the era of passwords is over. <BR>	-- Bruce Schneie…
3519 Computer science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes. <BR>	-- Edsger W. D…
3520 If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead. <BR>	-- The Law of Volunteering
3522 Some have been thought brave because they were afraid to run away. <BR>	-- English proverb
3523 A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. <BR>	-- Spike Milligan
3526 …possible amount of feathers with the smallest possible amount of hissing. <BR>	-- Jean Baptiste Co…
3527 Not only is UNIX dead, it's starting to smell really bad. <BR>	-- Rob Pike (circa 1991)
3528 Object-oriented design is the roman numerals of computing. <BR>	-- Rob Pike
3529 There's no such thing as a simple cache bug. <BR>	-- Rob Pike
3530 Caches aren't architecture, they're just optimization. <BR>	-- Rob Pike
3531 Sockets are the X windows of IO interfaces. <BR>	-- Rob Pike
3532 Sometimes when you fill a vacuum, it still sucks. <BR>	-- Rob Pike (on the X Window System)
3533 Unix never says "please."  <BR>	-- Rob Pike
3534 Those days are dead and gone and the eulogy was delivered by Perl. <BR>	-- Rob Pike (on one tool fo…
3535 If we had named "Kentucky Fried Chicken", it would have been "Hot Dead Birds". <BR>	-- Vinton Cerf …
3536 … was frightened, they're British, they've never seen a toothbrush before. <BR>	-- Jay Leno, U.S. t…
3537 Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. <BR>	-- Mark Twain (1835-1910)
3538 A bachelor is like a new detergent, works fast and leaves no ring. <BR>	-- Terry Canterbury
3539 10 fingers... 10 toes. Aw, crap!  I'm metric!  <BR>	-- Brad Osberg
3540 Bill Gates is a monocle and a Persian cat away from being the villain in a James Bond movie. <BR>	-…
3542 How could this be a problem in a country where we have Intel and Microsoft?  <BR>	-- Al Gore (on th…
3543 … unacceptable to the Windows using community, Microsoft would not exist today. <BR>	-- Carol Spears
3544 …but you'd be able to shift gears with your car stereo. Useful feature, that. <BR>	-- Marus J. Ranum
3545 …follows standards. In much the same manner that fish follow migrating caribou. <BR>	-- Paul Tomblin
3546 I may have invented it, but Bill (Gates) made it famous. <BR>	-- David Bradley (inventor of the Ctr…
3547 …hable. Then how come people can sell Microsoft software and go unpunished?  <BR>	-- Hasse Skrifvars
3548 … from scratch twice a day but will nevertheless become industry standard. <BR>	-- csugq@csv.warwic…
3549 …hly software subscriptions. They all had one thing in common: they lost money. <BR>	-- Saul Hansell
3550 It seems the only aspect of Microsoft Windows Vista which scales well is the price. <BR>	-- (adapte…
3551 …that Ctrl-Alt-Del was handled in the BIOS, I found that there aren't any. <BR>	-- Richard B. Johns…
3552 My other computer is your Windows box. <BR>	-- Nils Vogels
3554 … updates out for those defects. Take those objective criteria and we are better. <BR>	-- Bill Gates
3555 …r offer the carrot of Longhorn, it's now using the whip of poor security. <BR>	-- Steven J. Vaugha…
3556 That's what I love about GUIs: They make simple tasks easier, and complex tasks impossible. <BR>	--…
3557 …at automation applied to an inefficient operation will magnify the inefficiency. <BR>	-- Bill Gates
3558 …who, by peddling second-rate technology, led them into it in the first place. <BR>	-- Douglas Adams
3559 … does not just crash, it displays a dialog box and lets you press 'OK' first. <BR>	-- Arno Schaefer
3560 … society is make people believe that computers are inherently unreliable. <BR>	-- Bradford L. Barr…
3561 …ould charge you two hundred and forty-nine dollars for the right to speak it. <BR>	-- Scott McNealy
3562 …lashes to tell him that rust has been detected on the starboard cotter pin. <BR>	-- Gene Weingarten
3563 …, it is said, that Bill Gates couldn't slow down with a new batch of features. <BR>	-- James Coates
3564 …sn't own it, and therefore, there's a tremendous amount of innovation happening. <BR>	-- Steve Jobs
3565 …emember, we thought it would be flying cars, now it's an outhouse you can plug in. <BR>	-- Jay Leno
3566 …eting, channel strong-arm tactics, and predatory pricing. They worked for it!  <BR>	-- Geoff Parker
3567 Unix, MS-DOS, and Windows (also known as the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly). <BR>	-- Matt Welsh
3568 We're obviously going to spend a lot in marketing because we think the product sells itself. <BR>	-…
3569 …ed it, because we built it. Nobody ever knows who built open-source software. <BR>	-- Steve Ballmer
3570 …stare at you blankly and say "Hey, I got those with the system, *for free*". <BR>	-- Linus Torvalds
3571 …processor, written by a 2-bit company that can't stand for 1 bit of competition. <BR>	-- Stan Brown
3572 …e way that a rope can be said to support someone who will be soon hanged. <BR>	-- Jeff Holtzman UN…
3573 … is challenging is that every UNIX vendor believes standards are for weak-minded fools. <BR>	-- Ray
3575 … still no guarantee that your Solaris installation will proceed smoothly. <BR>	-- Solaris (UNIX) 2…
3576 If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a UNIX user to show you how it's done. <BR>	--…
3577 …ussing their imaginary lives as ax-wielding dwarves to anybody who would listen. <BR>	-- Mr. Cranky
3579 … systems is the message-of-the-day telling users to clean up their files. <BR>	-- System V.2 admin…
3580 …ant to be on the "leading edge" so bad they walk right off the precipice. <BR>	-- Craig E. Groesch…
3581 … In a literary light, if UNIX is the Great Novel, Perl is the Cliffs Notes. <BR>	-- Thomas Scoville
3582 The number of Unix installations has grown to 10, with more expected. <BR>	-- The Unix Programmer's…
3583 Those who do not understand UNIX are condemned to reinvent it, poorly. <BR>	-- Henry Spencer
3584 …nough rope to hang yourself -- and then a couple of more feet, just to be sure. <BR>	-- Eric Allman
3585 … 50 feet to pay another nickel. But hey! You only feel 5 cents poorer each time. <BR>	-- Larry Wall
3586 UNIX is like sex: If you don't know it, you don't miss is. But if you know it, you'll need it. <BR>…
3589 …elop a schedule for producing the 10th Edition of the Unix Programmer's Manual. <BR>	-- Andrew Hume
3590 We know Linux is the best, it can do infinite loops in five seconds. <BR>	-- Linus Torvalds
3591 "I know I'm paranoid, but am I paranoid enough?"  <BR>	-- Tom Clancy.
3592 "I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers."  <BR>…
3593 "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."  <BR>	-- George W. Bush
4013 The steady state of disks is full. <BR>	--Ken Thompson
4014 Russia: Where Russians are sent to die  <BR>	--The Onion
4018 Four-state logic: yes, no, maybe and maybe not  <BR>	--Art Ng
4021 The faster we go, the rounder we get. <BR>	--The Grateful Dead
4022 This isn't right. This isn't even wrong. <BR>	--Wolfgang Pauli
4023 Time is an illusion; lunchtime, doubly so. <BR>	--Ford Prefect
4024 "Hello," he lied. <BR>	--Don Carpenter, quoting a Hollywood agent
4025 We are faced with insurmountable opportunities. <BR>	--Yogi Berra
4026 An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest. <BR>	--Spanish proverb
4027 God made the integers; all else is the work of Man. <BR>	--Kronecker
4028 Every little picofarad has a nanohenry all its own. <BR>	--Don Vonada
4034 Every man is as God made him; ay, and often worse. <BR>	--Miguel de Cervantes
4035 The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it. <BR>	--Abbie Hoffman
4036 I could show you my favorite... obsession. <BR>	--The Rocky Horror Picture Show
4039 Discipline is always a means to an end, never an end in itself. <BR>	--King Crimson
4040 The official secrets act protects officials, not secrets. <BR>	--Yes, Prime Minister
4041 There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes. <BR>	--Dr. Who
4043 English has one inflected adjective: blond/blonde. <BR>	--Bill Bryson
4044 Some mornings it's just not worth gnawing through the leather straps. <BR>	--Emo Philips
4045 A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me. I'm afraid of widths. <BR>	--Steven Wright
4046 Of course, that was long ago, but at the time it seemed like the present. <BR>	--P. Steiner
4047 You Only Received One Set of Eyeballs?  <BR>	--Sam's Laser FAQ: Introduction to Laser Safety
4048 Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box. <BR>	--Italian proverb
4049 It's been so long since I made love I can't even remember who gets tied up. <BR>	--Joan Rivers
4053 If you think you have things under control, you're not going fast enough. <BR>	--Mario Andretti
4054 Eventually, primitive life develops, and then shopping malls. <BR>	--J. A. Paulos, on evolution
4055 Nothing exists except atoms and empty space; all else is opinion. <BR>	--Democritus, ca. 400 BCE
4056 No no no. Don't tug on that. You never know what it might be attached to. <BR>	--Buckaroo Banzai
4057 Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is Enemy Action. <BR>	--Auric Goldfinger
4059 It isn't the stuff we don't know. It is the stuff we know that just ain't so. <BR>	--Josh Billings
4063 Whatever is not nailed down is mine. What I can pry loose is not nailed down. <BR>	--Collis P. Hunt…
4065 Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes. <BR>	--Dr. Warren Jackson, Dire…
4066 In the land of the dark, the Ship of the Sun is driven by the Grateful Dead. <BR>	--Egyptian Book o…
4067 I've been aware of the time going by; they say in the end, it's the blink of an eye. <BR>	--Jackson…
4068 Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. <BR>…
4069 The struggling for knowledge has a pleasure in it like that of wrestling with a fine woman. <BR>	--…
4070 Jesus died for somebody's sins, but not mine. My sins are my own: they belong to me. <BR>	--Patty S…
4071 If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about the answers. <BR>	--…
4073 One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duct tape to make them stop. <BR>	--…
4075 If I had a plantation in Georgia and a home in Hell, I'd sell the plantation and go home. <BR>	--Eu…
4076 Did you hear the cops finally busted Madame Marie for tellin' fortunes better than they do?  <BR>	-…
4078 …he calculations became, the more the concepts tended to vanish into thin air. <BR>	--R. S. Mulliken
4079 You're young, you're drunk, you're in bed, you've got knives; shit happens. <BR>	--Angelina Jolie, …
4080 …mortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. <BR>	--Susan Ertz
4081 …. Real men upload their data to an FTP site and have everyone else mirror it. <BR>	--Linus Torvalds
4083 …ce of the president is not to wield power, but to draw attention away from it. <BR>	--Douglas Adams
4084 You should never bet against anything in science at odds of more than about 1012 to 1. <BR>	--Ernes…
4085 Linux per se is not a specific set of ones and zeroes, but a self-organizing Net subculture. <BR>	-…
4086 …is: the problem it solves is not hard, and it does not solve the problem well. <BR>	--Simeon/Wadler
4087 …o is stare at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead. <BR>	--Gene Fowler
4089 …complishing something and just lying around, I'd rather lie around. No contest. <BR>	--Eric Clapton
4090 …dy of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl. <BR>	--Mike Adams
4094 This License explicitly affirms your unlimited permission to run the unmodified Program. <BR>	--The…
4096 …take a year or two to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars. <BR>	--Fred Allen
4097 … to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops. <BR>	--Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
4099 …, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?"  <BR>	--Steven Wright
4100 …pe instead of core memory, it would use up tape at about 30 miles/second. <BR>	--Grishman, Assembl…
4101 …f the most honest man, I would find something in them to have him hanged. <BR>	--Cardinal Richelieu
4102 …ausdorff Besicovitch dimension strictly exceeds the topological dimension. <BR>	--Benoit Mandelbrot
4104 Rather than feeling vulnerable in the presence of powerful authorities, they feel safer. <BR>	--Joh…
4105 …alley of death I shall fear no evil for I am at 80,000 feet and climbing. <BR>	--sign over the ent…
4106 …if it seeks to devise and apply Turing tests to objects of its own creation. <BR>	--Lew Mammel, Jr.
4107 Remember: wherever you go, there you are. <BR>	--Buckaroo Banzai
4108 … whole, under this License to anyone who comes into possession of a copy. <BR>	--The GNU General P…
4109 …ly compiled oral history of the hacker subculture. It is our Gilgamesh epic. <BR>	--Neal Stephenson
4110 …husbands looking for girls, the situation is not as symmetrical as it might seem. <BR>	--Alan McKay
4111 …s the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless. <BR>	--Sinclair Lewis
4113 … single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral. <BR>	--Antoine de Saint-…
4115 …d of their own greatness as mystified at why everyone else seems so incompetent. <BR>	--Paul Graham
4116 …chains of gold; You can fall for pretty strangers, And the promises they hold  <BR>	--Mark Knopfler
4117 … experience when they have power to control information about themselves. <BR>	--The CATO Institute
4118 …in sexual ignorance, and where people are ignorant, they are manipulable. <BR>	--SAMOIS, Coming To…
4121 …mality. Anything you still can't cope with is therefore your own problem. <BR>	--The Hitchhiker's …
4124 … Let us rest our eyes on fleecy skies And the cool, green hills of Earth. <BR>	--Robert A. Heinlein
4125 …ium - that refuses to dissolve in the devouring torrent of electronic media. <BR>	--Neal Stephenson
4128 …ed consciousness into the consensual hallucination that was the matrix... <BR>	--William Gibson, N…
4129 …l; Drink no wine, and smoke no stogies. He just Love To Eat Them Roguies. <BR>	--The Roguelet's ABC
4131 …uered hell and driven out the demons I have come with the light to set you free  <BR>	--Mindy Smith
4132 …s are, and why people use them, they could crush Microsoft in a year or two. <BR>	--Neal Stephenson
4133 …immortality in an era when most people no longer believe in an afterlife. <BR>	--Arianna Huffington
4135 …I'm not there I know I'm not dead. So I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed. <BR>	--Pete Seeger
4136 …le the first two are more pleasant, the third is by far the more certain. <BR>	--Baron Rothschild,…
4137 …State, much less one who was a conservative warmonger, too. We've come a long way. <BR>	--The Onion
4138 …negative sense that changing to new ones makes us wish we'd never been born. <BR>	--Neal Stephenson
4139 …e virtual private destructor, and when was the last time you needed one?  <BR>	--Peter van der Lin…
4140 …ing that shows up there is free for the taking (possibly illegal, but free). <BR>	--Neal Stephenson
4141 …ey were able to rectify the gross anatomical inconveniences with surgery. <BR>	--The Hitchhiker's …
4143 …ugh for our Lord Jesus Christ, it's good enough for our school children."  <BR>	--John Perry Barlow
4144 …to have a chance of being correct. My own feeling is that it is not crazy enough. <BR>	--Niels Bohr
4145 …ed him, in that second, by the clarity and singleness of his wish to die. <BR>	--William Gibson, N…
4146 …d we just let the damn thing fall over and build a tower that doesn't suck?  <BR>	--Neal Stephenson
4147 …s. I use emacs, which might be thought of as a thermonuclear word processor. <BR>	--Neal Stephenson
4149 …than I need lamb or pork or lettuce or cucumber. I need it for my dreams. <BR>	--Racter (a program…
4150 …in a hole in the rock on his island, and was always going back to look at it. <BR>	--J.R.R. Tolkien
4151 …ot harsh-looking syntax, but having to build programs out of the wrong concepts. <BR>	--Paul Graham
4152 …. This discovery, my dear fellow, will prove a timely aid to you in many problems. <BR>	--Lucretius
4153 … the courtyard: Sweet summer sweat. Some dance to remember; Some dance to forget. <BR>	--Don Henley
4155 … dead men rise up never, That even the weariest river Winds somewhere safe to sea. <BR>	--Swinburne
4156 …y uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that needs altering. <BR>	--Doctor Who, "Face…
4157 …apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question. <BR>	--Charles Babbage
4159 … to be compatible with everyone else's, you WILL use top-to-bottom order. <BR>	--from the IJG JPEG…
4161 …you demonstrate that your machine correctly counted each voter's choice?  <BR>	--Ed Nisley, 2001 A…
4162 …eel the need of the device, after a thousand years of making do without it. <BR>	--Geoffrey Nunberg
4163 …n make life miserable for the Artist, but the Artist has ways of getting revenge. <BR>	--Larry Wall
4164 …ady to ship. So, why not eliminate programming as an activity altogether?  <BR>	--Bjarne Stroustrup
4165 …ior of the elementary particles but rather our knowledge of this behavior. <BR>	--Werner Heisenberg
4166 …o an Internet Entertainment Platform, along the lines of a television or VCR. <BR>	--Bruce Schneier
4167 Assassination is the extreme form of censorship. <BR>	-- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
4168 Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood. <BR>	-- …
4169 Scandal is gossip made tedious by morality. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
4170 I love acting. It is so much more real than life. <BR>	-- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
4171 Health is worth more than learning. <BR>	-- Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826), third US President
4172 I don't think of the past. The only thing that matters is the everlasting present. <BR>	-- W. Somer…
4175 …tools, it's a pretty good indication that your tools are useful and usable. <BR>	-- Ethan Zuckerman
4176 …ormal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be. <BR>	-- Douglas Adams